Need advice from similar people
 

I need help from those who have similar situations as I do. I think those ppl are probably the only ones who can really advise me.

I am 43 years old and have gained approximately 60-65 lbs over the last 8 or so years. I was anywhere between 120-135 as a young adult. In my mid 30's the bottom fell out of everything and I literally began trying to suppress my severe anxiety with food.

I have yo-yo'd on and off for all of that time. Furhtermore, I have no support system because both of my parents are exactly like me but will not admit it. They constantly tell me I just have to do it yet they'll prepare horribly unhealthy meals or take me out to places to eat where the temptation is too great.

I did go to my doctor for a physical and she asked me to keep a journal for 30 days until the follow up check up. I kept it for exactly a week and a half and then as the holidays approached I just gave up.

Here is the deal, I want it off once and for all. I am hoping that the second part of it will be, perhaps, an anti-anxiety med from the doctor when we next meeet up. But I can not wait until then to get started. I ate so horribly over the last few days I'm actually ill.

I am embarking on a detox/cleanse for the next three days. All rich green leafy crap and fruits and nuts into smoothies along with green tea. My question is, what comes next?

Do I just eat healthy on Monday or should I continue to eat super clean (no meat, dairy, bread etc) and if so for how long?

As well, how do I start workouts? I am grossly out of shape as far as muscle strength and have severe lower back pain and knee pain. Should I just start out with a moderate half hour walk? Or should I jump right into a low impact aerobic video?

How long until I can start with weights and abs? (not up to it yet, have to start small.)

I feel so overwhelmed and am terrified of plateau-ing too soon. Please, someone help me get started. I am full of fear and anxiety but really need to do this once and for all.

I'm in a very similar boat. I'm 32, and weighed 120-135 until I was about 22. Then, I started the yo-yoing. I'm up to 195ish - my highest ever. I also have severe anxiety issues and parents who cook unhealthy meals. And I have chronic knee pain! So I get you there.

Just my opinion, but I think you are trying to take on too much. Diving into a strict diet and exercise regime - and treating anxiety - might be too much. It also increases your chance of failure. What I did was tackle the anxiety first with therapy and meds. It has taken three months to find the right meds that didn't make me irritable, anxious, or nauseous. Also, I highly, highly recommend getting your vitamin D level tested. Most people are deficient in vitamin D. I thought I was a depressed, anxious wreck of a person, and then I started taking prescription D-3. My mood lifted, and my anxiety retreated a bit. I've also found my cravings for greasy, carb-laden foods has dissipated.

So, just my opinion, start dealing with the anxiety, and then tackle the food. Only you know what is realistic and appealing for you. As for the exercise, try different things until you find something you like. YouTube has a lot of exercise videos that you can try out. I discovered right away that I love lifting weights, and when I did it consistently, it helped ease my knee pain. There's no reason you can't start lifting now (unless your doctor advises against it.)

Sorry for the long post. I know how you feel. It's really overwhelming and scary, but that's why you need to slow down. Otherwise, you'll burn out.

Tracking is a proven method to lose weight. Stick with it. Have you thought why you stopped? Is it shame about how much you ate? I've been there. But keep tracking. It really does work. I actually make sure I write what I am going to eat before eating it. It gives me that moment of "regret." Do I really want to eat that? Nahhhh. Maybe another day. Heck, I ate about 2,800 calories the other day due to the holidays (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/dia...ate=2013-12-26). But I still tracked it (I was tracking on my phone, so I did a lot of those calories equal these cause really some of that was chocolate that was really 600 cals or less).

Blah. I am not big on "detoxes." Your body already does that. Just eat real food and your body will be happy. I've lost weight before just following portion sizes and adding extra healthy veggies to my plate versus my exes plate. I just don't think green smoothie land is great when everyone else is eating "delicious" fattening food. You'll really start craving then.

When I first started losing weight, I found one thing i loved: shrimp. If shrimp isn't fried, it's pretty healthy. So I added a small handful of shrimp to almost everything because it was a treat! A healthy one! Yay having my favorite foods and losing weight. Find some healthy foods you love (I also looooove mushrooms and broccoli) and experiment with them.


NOW! You will look better and feel better with regular exercise. I've had the best results with cardio/weights. Weights will not kill you. You will not look like a man. Exercise will also help you feel better. It will also help your knee. Since June, I stopped exercising (was just hula hooping daily) and within a few months, my knees started to give out on me. A week back into exercise, and bam, healthy knees again.

Find different things you like. Think outside of the box. Anything that makes you move works. Some things I like are walking, weights, hula hooping/flow arts, dance, and barre workouts. Invest in a pedometer and try to outwalk yourself every day.

You can do this. 3fc is here to support you!

I agree that you're probably trying to take on too much at a time and that you really should try that 30 day tracking. Observing the reality objectively is very healing in my opinion. It is hard, even painful, but it's definitely worth the effort.

What you eat and what you weigh are facts, regardless of whether you want to face it or not. In the same time, they're just factual things, and not a measure of your worth as a human being or your moral compass. The more you're able to see the reality as just neutral facts, the more you're able to act freely and consciously, instead of just reacting and responding out of fear.

I gained 50 lbs gradually over a period starting in about 1995 - 2000, started in mid 30's. Then I would calorie count my way down from 165 to 150 every year and then gain back up when I stopped it after like 5 months.

Then in like 2009 I had Kitchen issues and went from 165 to 185 since I had to remodel because of water problems. Then I between just gave up and couldn't lose it, I thought.

On December 29, 2012 I went on a low carb diet, and had tried some exercise classes around that time but it was difficult for me to get on the floor and all at that size. So then I stayed on my low carb and went a did treadmill and elliptical at work. then in August I began going to a Kettlebell gym in hopes of building muscle and gaining strength to lower body fat %.

It is now so much easier to exercise, I am still not as strong as I would like nor flexible etc, but I have come a long way and have lost 55 lbs and about 8 percent body fat in the meantime. Still have a ways to go.

I found videos on You Tube that inspired me. In particular, a series from Diva Slims Down, who went from 340 down to 150 all by herself. What her videos taught me other than being interesting, was to keep going, not give up, shake things up. I really think her videos kept me from giving up after 15 lbs or 5 months, whichever came first.

You are my twin sister! lol

I agree that tracking what you eat and how you exercise, as well as your moods and body measurements, is the ONE thing (besides the great support system at this site) that has helped me in the past. I can PM you about the software I use (much better than a written journal) but I don't want to post a link here in case it is against the T&C.

Keeping a visual tracker going is a fun and useful way to stay accountable. I have linked my LilySlim walking tracker to my Facebook account and I have several different trackers there; one for weight loss, one for days of walking, and others for days of healthy eating, days of yoga, weight training, etc. Posting in various forums here helps a lot, too. I make sure I am always in a challenge or goal forum for the given month. Tonight I am joining a "month of January" challenge and a Valentine's Day challenge.

Start small. Make dietary changes first. Add exercise after a month or two, or even three.

As far as programs go, I personally recommend Atkins/low carb, but program diets like Ideal Protein or Medifast are also enormously useful for beginners, especially if you are very busy and don't have time to do much food prep. There are low-cost alternatives to Medifast, such as DietDirect or Nashua Nutrition, which are also quite good if you like a "packet" style diet.

You're a classic case of "I want it now, but I don't want to have to work for it."

Let me ask you, if you're in your 40s then why are you depending on your parents to provide you with meals? This I cannot understand. You are an adult, and even if financial circumstances keep you from living in your own place there is no excuse for eating poorly. Somebody else cooking is just an excuse. Unless someone has tied you down, and force fed you fattening foods then you have no excuse. You can't focus on what you need to do if you're putting blame on someone else. Lots of people make things happen without a support system, a grown person does not need their mom to lose weight with them. Sorry for the harshness but co-dependency is a particular pet peeve of mine and I see it as a sinking ship no matter how you slice it.

Secondly, why did you give up on logging food? Ask people who have lost weight and they will ALL tell you that the very first step they had to take was to face the reality of what they were eating. Denial is easy, but taking charge is the first step to success. If you can't face looking at what you eat now, how will you be able to make any changes at all?

Taking medication is a serious issue. If that's what you need to do then go to a psychiatrist and get that sorted. You've asked for help to get started but are you willing to help yourself?

I have and had a problem where my body adjusts easily. Diet after diet people said, slow and steady wins the race. HA... not for me. For me, fast and drastic wins the race. I had been on a zillion diets that petered out after 30 lbs and there was NO getting over that. I would be STUCK for years. So I thought about it and I pursued a diet program that seemed to fit what I knew about my body. I also didn't want to log my food because it seemed stupid. I mean you cannot know exactly what you are eating when you are calorie counting.

So I did this program called HMR. I did spent a ton of money on it. But you eat 5-7 meal replacements per day, usually are medically monitored, and you lose weight faster than most. It comes with a multi vitamin and the foods have good nutrition. It has been around for 30 years and is pretty well regarded.

While I was losing I did not exercise a lot. That was just too much all at once. I simply tried to be active at work and do some small biking when I felt like it.

I lost 50 lbs and got to a place I had never gotten to before. But alas, the same thing happened. I got stuck, but still 155 is a lot better than 215. I am attempting to wake my body up / metabolism with normal food and then I am going to try again.

I agree with the vitamin d3 idea. I credit that as well with me losing weight. I had never done a diet with a full level of vitamin d. But on THIS diet, I did have a full blood level. I don't think it is a cure but I think it may make 15 to 30 % more weight loss. I also think D3 is supposed to help with anxiety / depression.

Sorry, this makes absolutely no sense. How can you not be aware of what you're eating if you're calorie counting? I know that writing down what you eat "seems stupid" but for countless people it opens their eyes to the denial they have about what they eat.

For people who are very overweight its not a smart idea to be doing exercise that requires you to be putting more strain on your joints so swimming type exercise is the best.

Second best may be weigts.

Cycling is also good.

Running and other high impact sports should not be done till you are down in weight a lot. Most people who people who are overweight for much of their life end up having knee and hip replacements quite early.

Yoga is another excellent form of exercise

So is tai chi. These will build up muscles strength and be easier on your joints as well, particularly yoga of the iyengar type is very interesting. Avoid the fast yogas like vinyasa ashtanga.

I agree entirely with Daimere. Avoid all that fake and funky faddish foods. Learn to cook and eat healthy nutritious meals. The less fuss with your food the more success you are bound to have.

I have been a yoyo dieter all my life too. my teenage years were when Twiggy was the body type to have (blech) ! I had 2 women at my kettlebell class do the IP diet and they lost alot of weight. i figured i would give it a try. i am down 20 lbs and several inches. I dumped my not so good coach and am now switching to alternative IP products. I have figured out that carbs are my enemy...especially when i used to binge on them!

ahhhh gentle shanti yoga I love it!