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How do you deal with your stubborn family?

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Old 08-02-2013, 09:26 PM   #1
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Default How do you deal with your stubborn family?

I skipped the quick diets and went straight for changing the way I eat completely. I started of slow by getting rid of soda and junk. Moved on to cutting out processed food and advanced carbs. The problem that I face now is my family will not sacrifice their own comfort to aid me in my goals. My grandmother is old fashioned and she likes to cook and at one point I couldn't eat the main course and she kicked me out of the dinner table. Everytime I open the fridge its like walking into a minefield. From processed food, to advanced carbs, to frozen desserts. I am not a person that will force my eating habbits on anyone because I would not want that done to me so the only thing I can do is hammer my eating habbits into my families heads so they can accommodate me at their own will. So my question is, How do you deal with friends or family that refuse to accommodate your diet or life goals?
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Old 08-02-2013, 10:47 PM   #2
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I don't want this to sound mean, cause it's not my intention, but I don't expect anyone, family or otherwise, to adjust what they do to accommodate me in any way, shape or form. It is my choice to change my lifestyle, not theirs. I wouldn't expect any of my friends or family to change what they cook or buy because I'm visiting unless they specifically asked me if they could make me something different (and even then, I usually decline because it's more work on whoever is doing the cooking).

Now I'm a calorie counter, so I have a bit more wiggle room as I don't avoid a lot of things, just keep them in moderation, but if I'm going to a friends house, or family, and I know I'm going to have a hard time keeping control of my diet while there, I do one of a couple different things:

1) Bring filling snacks that you can munch on right before dinner. Sneak off outside for some fresh air if you're not able to eat them discreetly (if there are appetizers or munchies out for everyone to snack on before dinner, just substitute your own snacks instead. Most people will hardly notice). This allows you to feel fuller at dinner so you can eat less, and pick the things you can eat.

2) Bring your own dinner. This can be considered rude to some, so use it at your own discretion. When I go visit a particular friend, she loves to serve things like lasagna, baked ziti, etc....big pasta dishes with lots of full fat cheese and cream and my poor little 1200 calorie limit just cringes. Last time I went over there, I brought with me a cooked chicken breast (already weighed). I went into the kitchen, asked if I could heat it up in the microwave before dinner. At first she seemed miffed that I would do that, but at dinner she realized that I still had some of her pasta (a very little bit) and the rest of my dinner was the chicken and some steamed broccoli she prepared as a side. When she asked me about it, I told her honestly that eating a huge plate of pasta wouldn't fit in my calorie limits, and she accepted that. Now it's not uncommon for me to bring something when I go to see her, and she knows t hat I will still eat whatever she makes, just not in huge amounts.

3) Offer to cook something for everyone, or bring a side-dish that falls within your plan. With this you can choose to eat more of what you cooked, and minimize the things you can't eat.

Sorry, that got a little more long-winded that I had intended lol! Like I said, I don't mean it to come across as mean or uncaring, it is a tough situation you're in! I hope things work out for you soon!!
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Old 08-02-2013, 11:38 PM   #3
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I'd say keep doing what you are doing NoPainNoLoss. You said you're not one to make others eat what you eat, but you are trying to educate them on healthy eating so that, hopefully, they'll eventually want to eat more healthily. That's about all you can do...only don't mess with Grandma, lol! If Grandma wants you to eat her main dish, put a very small portion on your plate surrounded by lots of veggies. It will be all right.
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Old 08-02-2013, 11:57 PM   #4
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I am not sure how old you are or how dependent you are on your family.

But in my household I buy, prepare and eat my own food which is entirely separate from everyone else. I actually eat a lot less compared to everyone else too so there have been cost savings.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:01 AM   #5
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Well... You could ask if they are willing to to help meet your needs, but if they are not willing?

Then you have to meet them yourself, right? If they are not willing to provide,
-- ask if you can bring potluck if people are gathering at grandma's or if you should just deal with your own food needs.

If grandma feels you are rejecting her love by not eating her food, find other ways to show you love her. Get her recipes. Admire her flowers. I know some people want to express their love via food giving, but if you have diet needs... find ways around it.

I actually have PCOS and hypothyroid and Insulin resistance and that whole Syndrome X deal. You know what I say to extended relatives? That I am "prediabetic" because that's what insulin resistance pretty much is. Or that the doc wants me to watch cholesterol. (which is true and what doc DOESN'T want you to watch cholesterol?)

Nobody but my husband wants to hear the nitty gritty of my health issues -- so I just give enough to get people off my case regarding my food needs.

I don't know if any of that could work for you.

GL!
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Old 08-18-2013, 12:20 AM   #6
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Hi,

I simply eat a very small portion of the calorie busting foods but fill the plate with tons of veggies. I rave about the food that was prepared and no one has ever even noticed what I actually eat.

I always have a tiny portion of dessert also.

In my circle, people spend a lot of time cooking and I do not feel it is worth it to make a big deal of not eating. No one got fat by eating hi cal foods once in a while and I know my group would be offended.To me this is not something I choose to risk .

As far as Grandma-I will eat whatever she makes because she is a dear who will ge gone much too soon.

This approach works for me and we are all happy .

Good luck to all regardless of how you decide to deal with this sticky situation. There is no right or wrong way-just what is in your comfort zone.

Sheridan
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Old 08-18-2013, 12:49 AM   #7
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I've had some family members not understand and I just try to ignore them. I've explained to them that I"m a food addict and I cannot eat certain foods in moderation, much like an alcoholic cannot drink in moderation. If they aren't supportive then I just leave. Most of them have seen me struggle with my weight with drastic swings in weight so they're getting it....oh and I always warn them ahead of time, before I get to their houses that I will be brining my own food and if I see something that I can eat, then I do. Sometimes I crack and give in because it's really tough but when I stay strong, I'm so happy afterwards.
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