Losing weight, and then pregnancy?
 

So, I've been obese for the better part of my life. I'm working on losing it, and about 43lb away from my ultimate goal weight. I am 4'9'' 1/2, my heaviest was 185. I want to get down to 125. I might even stop at 135, depending on how I look/feel.

But my question is, have any of you lost a bunch of weight, and then got pregnant? What were the results? I've been told as long as I eat healthily, exercise, and eat only about 300 extra calories a day, I won't put on a huge amount of weight. Do you think? I've even heard some women LOSE weight when pregnant. I know I'm going to gain SOME and I'm OK with that. But I can't be obese again...I CAN'T.

I know some of you are probably wondering why I'm even worried- I'd love to have a kid someday, and as terrible as this may sound... I'm actually AFRAID to. I don't want to "ruin" all my progress, get pregnant, and then turn back into what I used to be. Then I'd have to spend so much time focusing on my weight, and exercising, I'm afraid I wouldn't be the best mom I could possibly be. OR, alternatively, I could go back to being obese, and STILL not be the best mom I could be. Or the best wife, even.

Are my fears legit? Or selfish? My one friend who is also 4'9'' (and normally around 90-100 something lb) got pregnant and didn't put much weight on at all- but she's never been obese, so I can't really use her as an example. I'd hate to deny myself being pregnant and having children because of vanity issues...but I'd also really hate to lose a bunch of weight and then put it back on.

**This is all future thinking. I'm currently single and not pregnant, or even thinking about getting preg right now lol. It's just most of my friends are preg right now, and it got me thinking.

I was a heavy kid, lost most of my weight gradually through high school, then in college got very fit. I gained about 10lbs after the super fit time and maintained it for years. Fast forward to my pregnancy. I didn't eat ridiculous foods, in fact my two main cravings were smoothies and salad, but the weight piled on.
I gained 70lbs and I'm very petite.
It's not selfish of you to worry about it. It was upsetting and still is upsetting to me. I have a beautiful, smart, and clever three year old daughter, and it's more than worth what my body went through. That being said, I don't think I could ever be pregnant again because being fat was so upsetting to me. I got incredibly upset every time I saw my pregnancy photos and when they were accidentally deleted off my hard drive, I was secretly thankful. After my daughter was born, I was depressed mostly because of my weight. My mom saw how down I was and dragged me to weight watchers where I lost the 70 in one year from her birth.
I think if I were to get pregnant again, I would be VERY VERY careful not to gain weight and to stay active, but the weight gain/terrible feelings during my pregnancy are enough to deter me from doing it again.

Me too!! And no, you aren't selfish... at least to me. I think it's okay to be selfish to a point, as it's a form of self preservation.. You know what I mean? :)

I guess I have the same fears as you, but for different reasons. I've also been overweight my whole life... Actually, I was in 3rd grade... but anyways, I'm not so worried I'll gain the weight back (because I fully plan to do the +300 cals thing, lol) I know how to lose this weight, so I'll be okay...

But, my mom was overweight too (her whole life), and then had me, and then when I was 18 months old was diagnosed with Lupus. I'm completely terrified that I'll also get it. (She had lots of other health problems, some things people haven't even heard of, so I won't go into it..) The doctors always said the "trauma" of her pregnancies (she lost one at 8months along in 79, I was born in '82) was detrimental to her and it was a main factor in her getting it. I've read up on it, and I know I only have a 10% chance or something small, but... I'm terrified. So here I am, trying to be the most-healthy-me I can be before I do that to my body. It's to the point that I've told my DH that I will ONLY be preggers one time, so we will be adopting all our other kids, which (God love him) he is totally behind. My mom passed away in June of 2006, when I was 24. I can't stand the thought of my kids having to live with a terminally ill parent their whole lives (like I did, but I had the best mom and wouldn't have traded her for the world!).. I can't do that to my kid. Ugh. So scary. Aaaah!! Overwhelming! Whew. :dizzy::?::dizzy::?:

I don't mean to ramble, lol, but this topic is on my mind a LOT and as soon as I saw your post I completely identified with that "I dont want to do this to my body" feeling.

I guess I want to say YOU ARE NOT ALONE! :D :hug:

We will be okay? :D

I'm glad to see someone that thinks like I do. For a moment, I was afraid some people would take my post badly. I can see why some would. Well, maybe not badly. Offensively? I don't know the right word, but you get what I mean. But then I remembered a lot of us worked very hard to get where we are (and to get where we're going), and that they might actually understand what I mean.

If I ever did get pregnant, and gained weight...I wouldn't blame it on my child. I might be a little depressed, depending on how much I gained...and I'd start over again, but I don't want to HAVE to start over again. I want to enjoy my 20s because I never got to enjoy my teens, and I want to live a happy and healthy life. Even if I'm chubby, it would be so much better than being obese again.

I get what you're saying, though, and it makes perfect sense. I had a teacher once with Lupus, she used to be a very big lady, but she had surgery and lost a lot of weight. I think she was around 300lb. I don't recall. But she looks great now.

I'd like to adopt, too, actually, and I'm sorry about your mom! I can't even imagine that. :(

No, you weren't rambling, and I know what you mean. It is scary to think of a child having to live with a terminally ill parent their whole life.

I think we will be okay. :hug:

Wow, really? :( I can't imagine how that must have felt. I mean, of course you love your daughter! But at the same time, I can't even imagine how that must have made you feel.

But congrats on losing the 70lb! That's fantastic.

See, pregnancy just scares me. I just hope everything goes okay. If not...well...I can always start over. And I'll have a kid to drag me around soon after so that will keep me busy lol.

I don't normally come on here, but I just had to respond. In NO WAY are you a selfish person for thinking this out beforehand! NO WAY. I have two children and I can tell you, it's HARD. I love them and they mean so much to me, but I can't be the best Mom to them if I am angry and depressed because I look and feel so horrid. I lost 25lbs. before my first, 40lbs. before my second and right this moment, I'm pretty close to where I started out! (maybe 10lbs. heavier) But it's not been too bad. The thing is, you just have to stay active during pregnancy and watch your food. Lucky for me, I craved healthy stuff and I must have decent genetics. You will gain weight. But as long as you are smart, it won't be a ton. I started out heavy due to health issues, lost, and then had my babies. I know I can do it again and I'm going further than I ever did before. But I completely understand not wanting to work your hiney off only to have to start all over again.

Another thing to think about is that the changes you are making now for a healthy life will be your 'norm' in the future. By the time you decide to settle down and have a family, hopefully you will have been at goal for a while and it won't be the priority anymore -- it will be your norm. So if you did get preggo and gain 40lbs. (knowing that a good 20+ is fluid and baby), that after delivery you would only have a small amount to lose it wouldn't be such a shock for your body or your mind. Not to mention, there will be so much going on during that time it will be hard to focus only on you and your weight. But you do have to try to give yourself a bit of time every day so that you don't get lost in it all. But again, if eating healthy is your 'norm' even this will be much easier.

I sure hope no one bashes you -- you aren't saying you hate kids or fat people or anything of the like -- you're just saying what your fears are and want help on how to deal with them. It's NORMAL. We all worry about how to deal with events in our lives like this and how to cope. It's just part of it. There will always be good and bad things going on and major events but it's how we deal with those things that really makes a difference. You will have times your weight goes up and down, but as long as you do your best, you will feel good about what is happening around you because you took the time to put you back in the equation. And sometimes with big events like having children, that gets pushed to the side or even to the back. If you are prepared, that won't be such a hard thing. Good luck and know that you aren't alone. Even if I haven't gone through the issues before children, I understand that fear.

I have 3 kids, wouldn't trade them for anything in the world....but it doesn't mean that every feeling I ever have will be a selfless one. Worrying about how your life and body will be affected isn't wrong, it's practical.

Each time I got pregnant, I weighed between 120-130 pounds. I didn't know it at the time, but that wasn't coincidental-I have PCOS and probably wouldn't have been fertile while overweight.

Each pregnancy I gained 80 pounds. Pregnancy was my excuse to not worry at all about what I ate. I have a very dysfunctional relationship with food and have a hard time eating "normal" at any rate-the hormonal changes sent me right over the edge to binge city.

Yes, a very small percentage of women do lose weight while pregnant-but that is the exception to the rule. My aunt was 2 pounds lighter the day she delivered than before she got pregnant because she had debilitating nausea throughout. Ideally you should gain about 25 pounds, and you'll lose 15-20 by the week after you deliver....weight of the baby, placenta, amniotic fluid, etc.

If you can manage to stick to that ideal, you're only talking about 10 extra pounds to get rid of. If you breastfeed and can manage to eat healthy that weight will come off on it's own fairly quickly. With my first two kids, even though I gained such a HUGE amount of weight I had it gone by the time they were 6 months old. My third was a different story. Don't know if it was that I was older, or I'd finally just run outta that luck...

The problem I think most people run into isn't really about the pregnancy anyway, it's after. It can be hard to lose-and easy to gain-after you have a baby just trying to adapt to such a huge change in your life and schedule. When you are sleep deprived (and you will be!) and don't feel like getting out of your pj's (which are probably covered in spit-up and other disgusting things lol), going through hormonal changes again, and caring for a tiny helpless human is taking every bit of energy you have-it is VERY tempting to let your desire for healthy eating move to the back burner. Fast and convenient food can become your friend and your enemy at the same time. Time becomes a precious commodity and working out/getting to the gym regularly is an issue. Unless you are lucky enough to be like those celebrity moms with a nanny, a nutritionist, a chef, and a trainer it definitely makes things difficult for awhile.

No matter what, it is worth it. Having kids brings about the need to make alot of sacrifices-this is just one of them-but it doesn't have to ruin your body forever. If you can lose the weight now you can do it then, too.

Hey lady,

Let me chime in on the topic.

With my first child, I did not worry at all what I was eating and I gained 30 pounds... I was at 220 when I got pregnant, so I weighed 250 the day I gave birth to my daughter.... After her birth (I did not breastfeed her after 8 weeks), my weight was stuck around 225.

I got pregnant with my son, when I was FINALLY about to be reach Onederland. I was more careful about my diet but not perfect by all means. I gained 15 pounds with the pregnancy and two months after giving birth I was back to my pre pregnancy (diet) weight. The loss happened without dieting... just breastfeeding...

Now, almost 3 years later, I am at my all time high without being pregnant. I gained most of the weight back when I was breastfeeding because I used it as an excuse to eat pretty much whatever... and then I got engaged and became more relaxed about my weight....

All I wanted to say, is that YES... you can maintain your weight loss while pregnant by being active and eating healthy. Honestly I would not recommend losing weight passed the first trimester because if you are not obese, you can be hurting the baby's development and IMO, it is not worth it...

Sending you some baby vibes :D