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Why don't I do what I should??

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Old 02-02-2011, 12:17 PM   #1
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Default Why don't I do what I should??

Okay I'm just being totally honest here.....What the heck is the matter with me? Why do I not do what I should? I can honestly say I've done a great job in every other area in my life....the one exception is how I take care of myself. Whether it's little things like remembering my daily vitamins or, more importantly, making excuses to overeat or excuses to not excercise?

I have times when this is not always the case, but those times are very few and far between, and of relatively short duration.

And yes, I have been seeing a nutritionist/counsellor to work on this, but we're not coming up with anything concrete so far, other than lack of maturity (but at 49, I have trouble thinking that's the case) I can have the best-laid plans, but don't follow them, so what good is it? I have zero "stick-to-itiveness"

I am hoping for that one thought, one message, to help me break this awful pattern

If anyone else has an opinion or conquered this dilemma, I'd love your feedback......and don't worry about being blunt, if necessary.

I'm a very positive, optimistic, happy person by nature, though not without my daily struggles like everyone else. Why can't I do the most important thing and take care of me??????

I'm optimistic one of my fellow chicks has a suggestion
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:58 PM   #2
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I look in the mirror a lot. I tell myself things like, "This is going to change" and "I refuse to treat myself like this anymore" and my favorite one "My tummy is going to look the way I want it!" I basically COMMAND myself that this is what I'm doing and there is no other option. I don't tell myself I can't have things either, I work around the things I like. I usually make everything homemade so I know exactly what is in my food. I call it my obsession because we need to be kind of obsessed to make things serious for ourselves.

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Old 02-03-2011, 04:05 PM   #3
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I've been having a rough few months. For me, it has been emotional eating. I was workin hard getting in shape and losing weight for my sister's wedding. Once that was over, I sort of lost focus. And then it got dark and cold... and then came the snow. The never ending snow... I could PUKE!

I talked a bit with my sister about it. She told me, as quickly as summer comes and goes, so will winter. Soon the buds will be popping up. (Assuming, of course, that the fracking snow ever melts)

So I started to think about how badly I have lost focus and why I couldn't just get back on track. Why can't I just stick with it like I was before? All I have to do is eat on plan, exercise on plan, and the weight will go away. Why can't I just do it?

Lately, for me, I get home from work, it is cold, it is dark, I am tired. I have to get my 2 yr old fed and in bed and then I think about what to cook hubby and I. I am tired and I just want to sit and eat a brick of cheese with a box of crackers and a bottle of wine. And in that moment - it seems worth it. It is such a great quick fix. But then day after day, I find weight is coming back, I feel even more sluggish b/c I haven't been exercising. My moods are certainly not going to improve like this.

I am beginning to realize that maybe focusing on the moment isn't going to work for me. I think I need to focus on what I need to DO NOW so that I feel better when those flowers do start poking up through the ground.

I was seeking a theripist for a little while and I ended up stopping... I realized that I was looking for her to fix me. No one but ME can fix me. I have to do what I need to do and no one can do it for me. (KWIM?) I need to exercise. I need to come up with a healthy diet. I need to write in my journal. I need to try meditation. I need to do these things. And looking outside of myself isn't working for me.

(Please understand, I am not saying anything against therapy/counselors - I am just saying that I needed to change my focus)

I also have realized that part of it is also that I just need to suck it up and be the adult. My son is going through this gummie phase. I think if I let him, he would eat nothing but fruit snacks (aka. gummies). But he can't eat JUST fruit snacks. And I can't eat just cheese and crackers wine. And I can't throw myself on the floor and cry over it either... (well... I guess I COULD).

Sorry... I started writing and couldn't stop...
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Old 02-07-2011, 09:54 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCraver View Post
I've been having a rough few months. For me, it has been emotional eating. I was workin hard getting in shape and losing weight for my sister's wedding. Once that was over, I sort of lost focus. And then it got dark and cold... and then came the snow. The never ending snow... I could PUKE!

I talked a bit with my sister about it. She told me, as quickly as summer comes and goes, so will winter. Soon the buds will be popping up. (Assuming, of course, that the fracking snow ever melts)

So I started to think about how badly I have lost focus and why I couldn't just get back on track. Why can't I just stick with it like I was before? All I have to do is eat on plan, exercise on plan, and the weight will go away. Why can't I just do it?

Lately, for me, I get home from work, it is cold, it is dark, I am tired. I have to get my 2 yr old fed and in bed and then I think about what to cook hubby and I. I am tired and I just want to sit and eat a brick of cheese with a box of crackers and a bottle of wine. And in that moment - it seems worth it. It is such a great quick fix. But then day after day, I find weight is coming back, I feel even more sluggish b/c I haven't been exercising. My moods are certainly not going to improve like this.

I am beginning to realize that maybe focusing on the moment isn't going to work for me. I think I need to focus on what I need to DO NOW so that I feel better when those flowers do start poking up through the ground.

I was seeking a theripist for a little while and I ended up stopping... I realized that I was looking for her to fix me. No one but ME can fix me. I have to do what I need to do and no one can do it for me. (KWIM?) I need to exercise. I need to come up with a healthy diet. I need to write in my journal. I need to try meditation. I need to do these things. And looking outside of myself isn't working for me.

(Please understand, I am not saying anything against therapy/counselors - I am just saying that I needed to change my focus)

I also have realized that part of it is also that I just need to suck it up and be the adult. My son is going through this gummie phase. I think if I let him, he would eat nothing but fruit snacks (aka. gummies). But he can't eat JUST fruit snacks. And I can't eat just cheese and crackers wine. And I can't throw myself on the floor and cry over it either... (well... I guess I COULD).

Sorry... I started writing and couldn't stop...
wow...I could've wrote this. You nailed it - I live for the moment. Sometimes when I am on plan w/ eating and working out someone will comment that "I just need to live a little." I struggle between living life (and that means cheat days and lazy days) and being dedicated to my health/weight loss. It is a fine line that I haven't found yet. I feel great when I am sticking to plan, but then I try and enjoy life by taking a day or two off from the gym or relaxing w/ a glass of wine...BAM!...next thing you know I am completely derailed.

I don't have answers but I can relate to your post!
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Old 02-07-2011, 10:05 PM   #5
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If this were easy we'd all be at goal weight running around half-naked feeling like a million bucks day after day.

There's something in human nature that just wants instant gratification and quick fixes and shortcuts. We want to have our cake and eat it too and sometimes it just seems like too much work to earn and maintain the "rewards" of weight loss/fitness when it would be so incredibly easy to eat a big carby meal and top it off with a gigantic dessert.

What jms423 said really, really resonates with me. I didn't grow up eating healthy or small portions and I cannot break the connection between comfort/happiness and excess calories. I read people's posts bragging about how they've outgrown liking the taste of chocolate or cream sauce or whatever and I just think they're all liars. I don't think a life without indulgence is a life worth living at all, but finding the balance between indulging on special occasions vs. finding excuses to do so all the time is a huge headache and a big source of stress for me.

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone
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Old 02-08-2011, 01:12 PM   #6
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I can relate as well. I'm always going to feel a connection with food beyond providing nutrition for my body. Add to that the media saturation with food and cooking, and it just gets that much worse.

I'm trying to keep in mind that what I do right now will affect me for days or even weeks down the road. Sure, I could eat my weight in my favorite foods, but then I have to deal with the weight gain, the sluggishness, the digestive problems. I have to retrain myself to stop trading 5 minutes of delicious for my own true happiness.

Krampus, I've NEVER loved chocolate, and even though I had some weird phase of the moon where I actively craved it, I'm back to not wanting it. Now, salty foods? That's a whole different ballgame...
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Old 02-08-2011, 02:09 PM   #7
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I HAVE THE SAME ISSUE WHERE I GET IN THE LAZY MOODS. i USE TO BE IN SHAPE IN MY EARLY 20'S AND STILL REMEMBER HOW I LOOKED. NOW AFTER TWO KIDS AND NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF I HAVE BALLOONED UP TO THE WEIGHT I'M CURRENTLY AT. SO NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED MY DIET AND WORKING OUT, WHEN I GET IN THOSE LAZY MOODS I PICTURE THE CUTE LITTLE NAUGHTY CLOTHS THAT I CAN WEAR WHEN I HIT MY GOAL AND THE MAIN THING IS THE LOOK ON MY HUSBANDS FACE. PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!
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