3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

I am furious with my husband right now!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-23-2006, 03:58 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
drake3272004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 657

S/C/G: 238/199/150

Height: 5'5"

Angry I am furious with my husband right now!

Well, to start off, my DH quit smoking about 4 years ago and the only way that he could do that was to use chew for awhile, then to quit the chew he used the nicotine gum and suckers.
Fast forward to today, he was a complete jerk earlier because he was trying to peel eggs and they weren't cooperating, so he took it out on me! He apologized, no big deal, whatever. His mom showed up a bit ago and we were sitting at the table talking, while the turkey finishes.....and I notice that he has a can of chew in his pocket!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream at him right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
__________________
drake3272004 is offline  
Old 11-23-2006, 05:18 PM   #2
loving my beautiful self
 
beautifulone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,166

Height: 5'5"

Default

Jackie... are you angry with him because he may be chew'ing again? Are you angry because you are frustrated that he is doing something that is unhealthy and you are really concerned about his health? Are you angry because he has fallen off track? or another reason?

I'd like to better understand why you are feeling so angry and I don't want to tell you how to feel or give you advice especially if it's unasked for and inappropriate, but I do want to gently say that quitting smoking is HARD. I've never smoked so I wouldn't know, but I'm sure others can vouch for that. I still remember the day one of my professors told us in class that on average, someone who smokes will try to quit 12 times before they quit for good! 12 times! I liken quitting smoking or any addiction to losing weight... and we all know how difficult that can be!

hang in there.
__________________




Mini-goal 1: Reach 257lbs
Mini-goal 2: Reach 222lbs
Mini-goal 3: Reach 209lbs
Mini-goal 4: Reach 199!
Mini-goal 5: Reach 179 lbs (overweight BMI category!!)
Mini-goal 6: Reach 160lbs
Final goal: Reach 145lbs

Mini exercise goal 1: Begin running September 2012
Mini exercise goal 2: Celebrate graduation with a 5K
beautifulone is offline  
Old 11-23-2006, 09:04 PM   #3
stop whining & just do it
 
buckettgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 430

S/C/G: 352/269/200

Height: 6ft

Default

I understand, I really do - I quit smoking 4 years ago and my husband has struggled to quit since... I cannot stand being around smoke and I encourage him to quit.
I gave up the nagging. Certainly, I am sure that you do not what him doing something so obviously stupid... however, you have to let it go.
He will not quit because you get pissy about it; in fact, it will likely cause more problems than it is worth.
The only thing that you can do is CALMLY tell him that you saw the can of chew, that you disapprove, and that you are willing to be supportive of him when HE decides he is ready to kick the habit.
I have learned the hard way through the last 4 years that I cannot make my husband quit nor can I make him stay quit the few times he has done so. I can be assertive about my position not to support his habit and then let it go.
You can't make him quit/stay quit... set boundaries (like I refuse to buy my husband's cigarettes and he is NEVER allowed to smoke around me or in our cars) and be supportive when he decides to quit.
__________________
Amanda

buckettgirl is offline  
Old 11-23-2006, 11:06 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
drake3272004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 657

S/C/G: 238/199/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

I am more hurt that he was hiding it I know it's hard to quit, I was there when he quit.........it was hard to watch!
If he has to hide it after all that, then what does that say about us? I don't know......
__________________
drake3272004 is offline  
Old 11-24-2006, 12:09 AM   #5
plucky clucky
 
Bravelilchicken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Teeny Town, Ks
Posts: 166

S/C/G: 228/228/130 or less

Height: 5" 5'

Default

The hiding it would be what hurt me the most too. When I quit I hid it for awhile too, but it was out of embarassment that I caved and bought again, but then a few days after I threw them out and havent smoked since. Maybe he just is ashamed of buying?
__________________
Pay no attention to the fat girl hiding behind her keyboard. She is the great and powerful blubber butt!
It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
If at first you don't succeed, then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields

Bravelilchicken is offline  
Old 11-24-2006, 03:55 PM   #6
loving my beautiful self
 
beautifulone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,166

Height: 5'5"

Default

I see what you mean, I would find that hurtful too... but you know, there could be a number of reasons he hadnt yet told you.. I hope you guys get to talk and figure it out. Good luck!
__________________




Mini-goal 1: Reach 257lbs
Mini-goal 2: Reach 222lbs
Mini-goal 3: Reach 209lbs
Mini-goal 4: Reach 199!
Mini-goal 5: Reach 179 lbs (overweight BMI category!!)
Mini-goal 6: Reach 160lbs
Final goal: Reach 145lbs

Mini exercise goal 1: Begin running September 2012
Mini exercise goal 2: Celebrate graduation with a 5K
beautifulone is offline  
Old 11-24-2006, 08:56 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
Wolfena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 185

Default

You do realize men were put on this earth so we'd have something to complain about, right?

Life would be incredibly boring if we didn't have something to complain about periodically.

Men are just naturally capable of turning into that something - it's OK though, they expect it.

__________________

Wolfena is offline  
Old 11-25-2006, 01:32 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
drake3272004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 657

S/C/G: 238/199/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

Well, we haven't sat down to talk yet, just in passing. He came in last night from work and right off the bat he started to tell me that he wasn't dishonest with me because he hadn't lied about it. I didn't want to get into it before going to the pool and in front of the kids, so I said "so telling everyone that you've quit for the last few years is not a lie?" and I walked away. I wasn't even **tchy about it, just stated a fact.
So, because he didn't right out lie to me, then he wasn't being dishonest?????????? I don't get it, sounded like an excuse to me.
__________________
drake3272004 is offline  
Old 11-25-2006, 06:18 PM   #9
loving my beautiful self
 
beautifulone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,166

Height: 5'5"

Default

No.. I agree with you about honesty.. I think it's a lie by omission or something like that, and if not a lie, then still not complete truthfulness and it sounds like that's what you're most upset about.. I can understand why you feel hurt.

By the way, I think it's great that you didnt start arguing in front of the kids
__________________




Mini-goal 1: Reach 257lbs
Mini-goal 2: Reach 222lbs
Mini-goal 3: Reach 209lbs
Mini-goal 4: Reach 199!
Mini-goal 5: Reach 179 lbs (overweight BMI category!!)
Mini-goal 6: Reach 160lbs
Final goal: Reach 145lbs

Mini exercise goal 1: Begin running September 2012
Mini exercise goal 2: Celebrate graduation with a 5K
beautifulone is offline  
Old 11-27-2006, 12:16 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
drake3272004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 657

S/C/G: 238/199/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

Quote:
No.. I agree with you about honesty.. I think it's a lie by omission or something like that, and if not a lie, then still not complete truthfulness and it sounds like that's what you're most upset about.. I can understand why you feel hurt.

By the way, I think it's great that you didnt start arguing in front of the kids
We got a chance to talk. He understands why I'm so upset. I'm probably going to have a tough time trusting him for awhile, he's been chewing for 6 months!!! He works construction, so we don't see him much in the summer......that's how he was able to hide it so well. Plus he has been drinking these Rock Star drink things that I can't stand the smell of so that's how he has been able to cover up the smell of the chew. We'll get past it, we've gone through much worse.........it just sucked that it had to happen this weekend.

As far as the kids go, we generally try not to argue in front of them, especially if it's going to turn ugly.
__________________
drake3272004 is offline  
Closed Thread
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:03 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2