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Old 11-05-2006, 02:52 AM   #1
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Default Help with insomnia/fear

Hey everyone. It's 1:45 in the am and I can't sleep. This happens to me about once a week and any time my husband is gone. It's not an "I'm not tired, I have to be doing something" kind of awake. It's a constant, painful fear. It always has to do with intruders in our home, whether human or supernatural. It is very, very hard to deal with and when DH is out of town for a week or two, it means that I will sleep MAYBE 3 hours a night for 5 - 12 nights in a row. I know this is not healthy and my workouts are the things that suffer the most. I've been prescribed sleep aids and sure, when DH is home they knock me out. The problem is that I won't take them when he's gone. I'm always afraid they'll make me to heavy a sleeper to notice when someone does intrude. Here's the facts: I live in a small town where the last murder took place about 10 years ago. I've never heard of ANYBODY'S house being broken into. We live in a 7 year old home that has had NO horrible pasts condusive to "lost souls" and the like. This has been with me since I can remember, regardless of where I've lived or who I lived with. Anybody have any advice? I really appreciate it. Sorry this was so long!

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Old 11-05-2006, 08:46 AM   #2
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I don't know what to say that would be helpful to helping you sleep... but whenever I'm home alone overnight or live by myself for a few months, I also start to feel scared of someone breaking in and hurting me... it's so scary. And I can imagine how frightful you might feel if you fear supernatural intruders. I've generally heard that spirits from the spirit world (if this is what you're referring to) don't actually have an intention to hurt us, they are just lost and confused. For the few mischevious ones, I think they come more with the territory... and if your house is new, as you said, then I think you should be ok
But I can understand that the fear is still there. I wish I had something more helpful to say, I just wanted to let you know that I read and offer my empathy

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Old 11-05-2006, 10:33 AM   #3
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I used to have the same problem until I forced myself to relax and go to sleep. I usually have some form of night light and tell myself that I will wakeup if something "bad" happens. I think you should really just try to calm yourself down. Saying a prayer might also help you.
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Old 11-05-2006, 12:43 PM   #4
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I can empathize. I have always been afraid of being alone at night. I sleep in short 30 min. spurts when I'm alone. I have a baseball bat next to my bed. I read until I fall asleep. I leave a light on. Wish I could help, but you definitely aren't alone in this.


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Old 11-05-2006, 01:35 PM   #5
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When I was young I use to have to stay home alone for 2 weeks at a time. for over 5 years

I had the same problem with the supernatural part.
But I know now that if anything supernatural contacts me, that means i'm a very special person to be able to see/hear them. They can't hurt you, and they can only scare you if you let them. They like to tease and play with you if they know you are scared of them. But they can never hurt you.

I never worrid about there being a break in.. partly because I had a terrier mix dog that would yap at the slightest sound of a person in the house. She always barked at everyone when they first walk in until she knew who we were. So I knew that if someone came in, she would wake me up with her yapping.
My tiny watch dog died 4 years ago, but I'm still not so afraid of a break in.

My advice is.... if you are that afraid of a person comming in, you can always set up a security system. It's nice to know there is a alarm set and ready... or those new strong doos have strong locks.. or that the windows have locks.
Or you can always get a dog. Sometimes it helps to have another living thing in the house. I always felt comforted by my cat just being in the same room. @[email protected] Alot of this fear is just mental.. because of being alone. We as humans don't like being alone and we are also afraid of the dark by nature.
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Old 11-05-2006, 02:17 PM   #6
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I have the same problem. My husband goes out one a week and stays out until very very late - not as bad as him being out of town or anything, that would give me a coronary. I usually stay up til he gets home, begrudgingly. If i do drift off, it's because i've got all the lights on, my cat snuggled with me, and my cell phone at hand.
I understand the fear getting a hold of you, even as an adult, i am totally terrified of the dark. completely irrational, i suppose, but I can't help it. if i'm outside in the dark i just cant stop thinking of the bad people that are out there waiting for me. i guess everyone has something that will at least ease these feelings. Since you've got such a long time that he's gone at a time, i think an alarm system is probably a good idea, and a dog or cat that can keep you company and take his space in the bed next to you might help too.
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Old 11-05-2006, 03:42 PM   #7
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Oh, I forgot to point out that I have two very vocal dogs. One is a big lab mix and his bark actually terrifies people. They actually have scared friends away and I know an intruder would definitely think twice before entering. The other thing, with the supernatural is that I don't really know if it exists, but I don't want to be proven wrong!!

We have checked into an alarm system and it turns out there isn't any type available in our area. Even the nationally known companies aren't able to service us because our area is pretty desolate.
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Old 11-05-2006, 09:06 PM   #8
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If you can't get a traditional alarm from a company can't you get something that emits a loud sound if doors or windows are opened? That would scare off a would be intruder. If you let your dogs sleep in the house with you, I would personally feel safe. My husband works from 4pm to 12:30am every night. I have two young boys with me and live in a fairly large city, for my area. I have a routine that I follow every night to make me feel safe. I go around and check all the doors, windows, and make sure all of the curtains are shut. My landlord doesn't allow dogs so I don't have one. I know my neighbors fairly well and they know I am alone and they watch out for me too, which is nice. So if you still don't feel safe maybe you need to find some sort of routine that works for you so you feel safe. Don't watch the crime shows or scary movies before bed read a good book and good luck.
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Old 11-05-2006, 10:18 PM   #9
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My husband works at 2 am so I am more or less home alone with our youngest son. I have a yappy dog, but she doesn't make a sound if she is scared...lol so much for a watch dog.
I do believe you can find alarms that you can attach to windows, that if opened it gives off a piercing noise.

For the supernatural, perhaps cleansing your home with sage (sweet grass) would help.

Is there family members who live in the area that can stay over once in awhile so you can get a good night sleep?



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Old 11-05-2006, 10:34 PM   #10
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Default Sounds like anxiety

What it sounds like you are having are anxiety attacks. I know because I suffer from those as well as panic attacks. You may need to speak with your doctor or a pschyiatrist for a medication that can help control them. Just pay close attention for any side effects and tell your hubby to help in that area. The first medication they put me on my husband said you have to change that medicine. I was going on rampages. One of the rare side effects to it was psychotic episodes. Go figure.
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:56 PM   #11
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i can definitely relate somewhat, though for different reasons... Due to things that happened when I was younger, to this day I'm petrified of the dark and I'm very uneasy when I'm alone. I can't sleep without some form of light if I'm by mself (I usually keep my computer monitor on), and also I would suggest relaxing music when you're trying to drift off. If you're the kind of person that doesn't mind sound when you sleep, relaxing music might help (I find it a lot easier sleeping with music). I think a security alarm system is a good idea as well if you're worried about intruders.

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Old 12-30-2006, 11:46 AM   #12
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when we built our house 15 years ago the advice we got about an alarm system was...don't bother...a barking dog and motion lights are your best defense against intruders....

as far as your fears...I was much the same....I hated the night if I was alone...I would watch tv until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.....I have to have my bed facing the door and my cordless phone is in bed with me....as time has gone by I am less afraid but I do emphasize....and even though I feel less afraid I still have the same habits....my husband is such a heavy sleeper that anything could happen to me and he would sleep through it......so he is no good to me even if he is there....I had to do alot of self talk....I have come to realize over the years that I have an anxiety disorder.....I just try and self talk my way through it.

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Old 12-30-2006, 12:07 PM   #13
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Things have actually gotten a lot better. I cut caffeine out of my system completely since DH and I are trying to conceive, so that helps a lot. He's got several trips for work in the next couple of weeks, so I'll let you know how it goes when that does happen.

Thanks for all the support! It really helps to know others go through some of the same things I do. It's hard to admit to people because it makes me feel so childish!
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