Awww, you guys. You guys are making us singletons think twice about settling down few years from now. I'm so scared hearing other people's husband stories I don't even bother getting into relationships!
I'm not thinking twice about getting married but I am a little nervous Not because I'm afraid my BF will change but because it is a big change for me. I figure I've had quite a few single years and I enjoyed them but I am looking forward to many many years with my future husband
You know, nelie, its not that I don't look forward to change eventually, but I just feel like anticipating bad events (cheating and lying husband, forgetful or even loss of interest, yadayada...) just so that, if it hits me, I won't be terribly surprised or disappointed. I know it sounds bad, because this way, I won't be able to trust anyone 100%, but I just can't seem to let go of these things. Crap happens, and I don't want to break down and cry when it does. I'll look forward to dating and settling down in the distant future, but I'll always keep my mind on certain things...
veggielover - your younge, enjoy it. I am younge too and I live with my boyfriend, as much as I love him sometimes I wonder if I am missing out on other things. If he asked me to marry him i would say yes but would want to hold off on the wedding. We are both 21, we have been together two years (lived together for 8 monthsish) and we are perfectly happy where we are now... why change a good thing? You need to do what makes you happy
In general, I think I'm an optimist. If you expect the worst out of people, all you get is the worst. I started dating my BF after I had resigned myself to being single and was pretty happy with that decision. I had some tough times with men (some really tough times) and well I couldn't see how it could be different. Anyway, my BF came into the picture as a close friend when I needed one and he needed a close friend too. Our friendship grew into a relationship and I knew I could trust him from day one. I don't think he'd ever cheat or lie to me but I do think it is a possibility that we could grow distant because I know it happens in relationships.
I do think trust is important but you also have to trust yourself. Some relationships fall apart. It happens. You can do your best and it can still fall apart. I'm not going to anticipate it and if it happens with me, I know I'll be devastated. I also know that I am my own person and that if my marriage for some reason doesn't work out, it wasn't because I didn't try. Personally, I believe that my marriage will last and we will be happy together for the rest of our lives. I am an optimist after all
If you expect the worst out of people, all you get is the worst.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nelie
Some relationships fall apart. It happens. You can do your best and it can still fall apart. I'm not going to anticipate it and if it happens with me, I know I'll be devastated.
The sad part is that I know you guys are right and I'm still building my protective bubble, my own little spot that no one can reach. I don't know the feeling of happy occasionally, and yet I don't ever look for it. I don't understand why, but it just makes me feel like I could never hurt that way... I mean, you can't ever hurt yourself emotionally without being in love right?
Nelie, Courtney, I think you guys sound happy and optimistic, which is what I'd love to be. Due to some past relationships, I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. But I hope I get there eventually....
Even if you meet the right person, the most important thing to know is that it takes work and lots of it. There's a lot of compromise. Sometimes I'd like to do something and not have to consider anyone else's opinion, needs, or schedule.
Happily ever afters might happen, but they are usually accompanied by not so happily right this minutes.
Men
Not because I'm afraid my BF will change but because it is a big change for me. I figure I've had quite a few single years and I enjoyed them but I am looking forward to many many years with my future husband 
