any of you know a person that rants and raves and whines and complains about every single thing and never shuts up and you just want to ignor them?
I feel like that person. I've been ranting for 2 weeks straight.
I am working on 3 hours sleep so If I ramble on, forgive me.
*sighs*... I HATE men... they are so stupid. (not all, but they have their moments)...
I have found out,.. that my Boyfriend has yet to tell most all his friends about me. Not only do they not know that he is going to be married...they don't know I even exist. They think he's single!!!!!
You know, he wants me to be more out going and happy and I really want to show him how good i'm working on not being shy.. BUT HE NEVER ASKS ME OVER!!! i never get to show him all the hard work i'm doing.
It's like he's ashamed to be seen with me. He only sees me when we are on our own.
Never have I heard, "This is my Girlfiend Melissa" or "This is Melissa, we're going to be married." no nooooo no no.. the 2.. count them.. 1, 2 times I've been introduced it's always..." This is Melissa."
And I don't want to stick my hand out for a hand shake and add " I'm his fiancee"
He says he never really thought of it..
this is total and complet BS!!! How can he spend hours of his free time "Talking" With "friends" and not once.. NOT ONCE.. bring me up...
It makes me feel like crap.. utter crap. And the fact that I'm gaining weight, not losing it is just pouring salt on the wound. I want to crawl under my bed and die.
I miss my Mother, She had a heart attack over a year ago and has been in a coma.
My mother would know just what to do, and what to tell me to make it all better. I just really wish she was here and able to help me.
Mother was the only one who ever told me they loved me. Yeah I know family and friends love me but Mom was the only one who said it.. Every day.. "I love you, you're my little girl" every day. My Boyfriend came along and now I had 2 people who said they loved me everyday.. Boy did I feel loved.
Now with Mom in a coma... I know she still loves me as before, but...I need to hear it. I don't know why... I just.. I have to hear then say it. I hang on to my Boyfriend because if he goes....then no one will say they love me and that would just be awful.
Why are guys so stupid, it's like they don't even care about our feelings.
I'm going to say something tough that you won't want to hear (and this is all my opinion). ANYONE can say the words "I love you", but if they don't back it up with action, it is worthless.
The fact that he has not told anyone about you speaks volumes. You are a bright, beautiful young woman. Don't waste your life with someone that won't even bother to acknowledge you to people he knows. He should be shouting his love for you from the rooftops, or at the very least asking you over to his house.
He's using you. Cut him loose and find someone worthy of your love.
Gah! I was just starting to get over the whole drama of my fiance leaving me and then he goes and pulls something that drags up EVERYTHING all over again.
Of course I don't think he knows that he did something worng, but I do plan on telling him tonight when I chat with him on IM. And I know just how it's going to go. He's gonna moan and groan about how he knew he was going to do something to upset me and how he should just wander off and die to keep from hurting me... WTF?! And It's for something so strupid to... sometimes I hate being a woman because we hold on to grudges like this forever. Oiy!
Okay, so at the start of the year, my fiance came back to me after he left me for this girl he knew for like 2 months. I knew he would come back, but it didn't hurt any less that he left me in the first place. Now. We both have myspace account...and he had that girl and all his "friends" who told him to dump the fat a$$ and get some new a$$.
Now I understand that he never had friends before and peer pressure sucks and he wanted to make them happy, but that didn't make me feel any better.
So when he came back, he never stopped talking with that girl and the "friends." on myspace. I asked him about it and he said. "You don't trust me?" I said flat out "No!, would you trust me if I did what you did to me?"
He deleted them as friends.
BUT now, after like 4 months, I go back to myspace, was looking around and noticed that he has that stupid girl BACK on his friends list and I know he's been talking with her because I see his comments on her page.
Arg I have never been so angry and sad in my life. I crawled into bed and slept for 2 hours. (in the middle of the day no less!) Because I knew I was pissed enough to write my boyfriend a very nasty e-mail or call him and scream at him over the phone about trust and betrayal. But I didn't, I took a very long nap. I'm better now... just dissapointed.
I'm still thinking of calling him because that goes far better than chatting on the computer. I know I need to trust him, but it's soooo hard. I never trusted many people in my life anyways.
Grr.. and it was this girl and "friends" who use to leave nasty notes to me on my car and shout stuff at me in the hallways of the college. And my boyfriend knows they did this to me.
I just don't know how to feel or what I should think.
Most of all I just hate the Drama. It makes me feel like I'm back in middle school @_@
I hope you don't pin all your hopes on a future with this guy.His behavior does not indicate a man in love about to get married.You deserve better and i suggest you put an end to it and move on,rather than wait for the day that is obviously coming.If he was planning a future with you he wouldn't be keeping you a secret.
Sakai: I'm so sorry you can't talk to your mom. I'm gonna give it to ya straight because I think you deserve it and it's what I would tell my own daughter if she had the same complaints/situation. This guy may really love you and think you're fabulous, but these little things that are important to you, aren't a big deal to him. You can try to change him, but if these things aren't important to him now, they never will be and you'll be on here sad because he's forgotten your anniversary, kids birthdays, telling you things like, 'you're not my mother, why should I get you something for mother's day?' when you have little kids that can't buy you presents. Do you see where I'm going with this? He may be a great guy, may love you very much, but if the 'little things' are important to you and they aren't important to him, then you should cut the cord with him now...the longer you wait, the painful it will be down the road. And you may be wasting time you could be spending with someone that the little things are important to with (did that make sense?)
OR...better yet, you should be spending time with friends and family and getting better in touch with yourself so you aren't so dependent on having someone in your life tell you they love you. This is a very bad habit to get into and you will have a 'desperate' aura about you that is very unattractive to nice guys. But it's very attractive to guys that would love to take advantage of you as you'll look like an easy target. You need to get some alone time to tell yourself you love yourself and become more confident and lovely with or without a boyfriend/fiance/significant other. You will become instantly more attractive to a nice guy that will treat you the way you deserve and want to be treated.
I also think you've ventured into an unhealthy relationship as a result of losing your mom to help heal your aching heart from that. Its a temporary fix, but not a permanent one, as you're finding out. Once again, you need to get rid of this guy and take time to heal from your situation with your mom. Only once you've gotten over that and have come to a place where you are confident and wonderful without depending on someone to tell you you are loved, can you be the kind of person that will enter into a healthy relationship. Once you love yourself, others loving you will just be icing on the cake.
Sakai...
I know you've complained about this guy before and reading your post, I really had one thought... You aren't his girlfriend let alone his fiancee. I know that sounds harsh but I think you need to hear it. I can speak for many girls in saying we have spent time and efforts on men that aren't worth it. You are spending time and energy in a guy that really doesn't want you in his life. If he wanted you in his life, you would know all his friends and they would know you.
I spent years dating and being in weird relationships with guys where they really weren't the right person for me nor was I the right person with them. I cried about them and I never thought I'd find the right one. At the point in my life where I felt strongest in my life as me and knew I didn't need anyone else, I started dating the most wonderful man ever.
Don't settle for someone who isn't worth the time and effort. I know it will hurt for a while but I think you need to cut him loose.
lol Thanks TechWife. It makes me laugh all the time.
And thanks everyone, yeah the truth hurts and it's hard to take but sometimes that's just the way it is.
It's not really the little things that bother me.. it just.. sometimes they just pile up into one large thing and that's when I really start feeling bad.
I'm not very mad anymore (now that I had a 2 hour nap)
I know My boyfriend won't talk about me to people who are just passing through his life. He makes lots of "friends"... but he uses that word for anyone who will sit and talk with him for more than 5 minutes. they have now become his "Friend" even if he never sees then again after that.
But the fact that he never brought me up to the people he spends most all his free time with for a hour at a time is just stupid. And I wanna know why. We touched on the subject but didn't go very deeper than that because there was more important things to talk of.
I made a appointment with my College Counselor today so I can have someone to talk to (Another woman at least).. she's been working with me for many years now and she helped me through the break up a year ago.
I know it's not like he dosn't want me to hang with him when he is with all his friends. He tried so hard last year to include me. I was just os shy and often times upset at the lack of attention he paied me. (what a shock, I feel dumb now lol) So... upon seeing how upset I always got, he stopped asking me, knowing I didn't like it. He tip toed around his words, picking them with care so as to not upset me with a careless phrase or whatever.
We have gotten over that, he's finally talking to me like he use to, not being so worried about saying something that will upset me. Things will upset me.. stuff teachers say upset me for crying out loud, it's gonna happen. But I don't care because I love him and I know he didn't mean any harm. He just still hasn't really understood that I want to be around his friends again. I've work on not closing myself off from them. I want to show him but he still thinks I'll be upset.
After I talk to my Counselor I may just make a second appointment and have him come with me. I just feel like he realy truly understands me if I have my Counselor there to help him understand what I mean because I do tend to ramble off when upset. @_@
it may all just be a big misunderstanding... or that he was being a stupid guy. but we will see.
I really really don't want to go through what I did last year. I would rather he tell me the truth, rather than skirt around me behind my back and dump everything on me at once. all over again.
You know, I am in a very similar situation. This came crashing down on me about 3 days ago. I moved back down to georgia to be with my ex husband, to try to work things out for the best interest in our child. Things were going great for the longest time, until he started sneaking around. I found out on sunday that he went home with a stripper and screwed her. I am very devestated. I dont know what to do. My self esteem is shot, as well as my motivation to do anything.
I'm in love with a quiet, unobtrusive guy. He doesn't often talk about his personal life with friends and family...
but he can't stop gabbing about me. They (the other people in his life) are probably getting sick of how much he talks about me, but he just wants everyone in the world to know how much he loves me.
In all the lasting relationships I've seen, both man and woman alike tell the world around them how much they love their SO. And why wouldn't you, seeing as they're supposed to be the closest thing to your heart? This guy doesn't seem to have you close to his heart.
I'm in love with a quiet, unobtrusive guy. He doesn't often talk about his personal life with friends and family... but he can't stop gabbing about me.
Ditto. I live with my boyfriend of two years - he is very shy and doesn't feel that people need to know about his personal life because it is just that... personal. But they all know about me, what I do for a job, etc. Even casual people at work know about me.
He loves me, I know he does - more then anything in the world. And I love him too. Yet he has never once said the words "I love you." I wish he would but they are just that, words - they really mean nothing. Actions speak louder then words, I know he loves me because he shows it - he doesnt need to tell me.
This guy doesn't love you. Dump his sorry *** and find someone what loves you for who you are and will stand on a roof top and scream, "I LOVE MELLISSA!"
In my humble opinion, there are a bunch of bright, red flags waving around. Please open your eyes and SEE that you deserve so much better than this.
Be the one to put your foot down and walk out on a high, self-respecting note. I doubt you would allow anyone you cared about to be treated like this, so why on earth do you put up with it yourself?
I just... wel you know how it goes..." I don't want to leave him, I love him."
I just... I don't want to give up on him, until I know for sure that he understands what he is doing to me. He's young, never had many friends...i'm his first major relationship...I know I'm giveing excuses.. but... I want to make sure that he isn't just ignorant to what he is doing. if after I tell him and things still are bad... I may just have to go. Even though I will most likely have that 2 months where I'm just existing.. not living.
I've figured out why I may have suddenly been so closed off and sad all the time. And it's because of my mother. My boyfriend and I dated for a year and he popped the question a few weeks before we went to visit my mother. We had a grand time and she had the heart attack the day after we left.
After that, ... that's when things with me started to really turn. I got very upset with him if I felt he wasn't spending enough time with me. I want to get married Right away even though I know we are not ready, money wise.
I just saw how fast your life can go. I didn't want to be alone....being alone was the last thing i wanted. It drove me crazy.. literallly up the wall if I was by myself for more that a few hours. I always had to have someone with me. And my boyfriend was always the one that could calm me down and make me feel so much better. I wanted to feel that all the time, but he couldn't spend all his time with me. it stressed him out. and that was the main reason why he had left me last year.
I know I have seperation issues and I really want to get some help for it, because I know that if I can just get over this feat of people going away then I would be back to the happy person that he loved so much. I have to give him kudos for sticking with me as long as he is. I am so NOT the person I was a year and half ago.
I just saw how fast your life can go. I didn't want to be alone....being alone was the last thing i wanted. It drove me crazy.. literallly up the wall if I was by myself for more that a few hours.
Gawd, I'm the total opposite, I'd give anything to be alone. With the exception of my son, of course. I just happen to be stuck in a longtime relationship that I don't wanna be in anymore but have no idea how to get out from underneath it without putting me and my son on the street.
With the exception of my son and my friends, I just don't want to be in a relationship anymore
Sorry to hear you're having these problems. I wish I could help you but heck, I can't even help myself.
Are you with him because you "love" him? Or are you with him because you are scared to be alone?
I gotta tell you, if you spend 6 months without that someone in your life, you will know at that point if it is LOVE or the comfort of having someone in your life. I hope you take the time to find out who youare.
I'm sorry about your mom Mellisa, do take care.
OMG I feel like a crybaby!
I'm so sorry you can't talk to your mom. I'm gonna give it to ya straight because I think you deserve it and it's what I would tell my own daughter if she had the same complaints/situation. This guy may really love you and think you're fabulous, but these little things that are important to you, aren't a big deal to him. You can try to change him, but if these things aren't important to him now, they never will be and you'll be on here sad because he's forgotten your anniversary, kids birthdays, telling you things like, 'you're not my mother, why should I get you something for mother's day?' when you have little kids that can't buy you presents. Do you see where I'm going with this? He may be a great guy, may love you very much, but if the 'little things' are important to you and they aren't important to him, then you should cut the cord with him now...the longer you wait, the painful it will be down the road. And you may be wasting time you could be spending with someone that the little things are important to with (did that make sense?) 
He's so cute!
