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Old 07-10-2006, 01:21 AM   #1  
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Angry My apartment was broken into..

by my mother-in-law-to-be.

This is going to be a bit lengthy.

Where do I begin? It wasn't really a break-in. I mean, she didn't take anything. That's why I haven't called the police. Though, it doesn't make her any less of a b!tch for doing so. I mean, goodness, it's my apartment! I feel violated.

I was naked in the bathroom, getting ready to take a shower. I heard a knock on the door. I decided that if it was the UPS man, he would have dropped my box at the apartment's office. MIL usually calls before she comes over. Other than that, I didn't know who else it might have been, and, well, too bad. I was naked!

I proceeded to take the shower. I got dressed and was heading to the front door to see if the UPS man left a little post-it for me. Well, before I got to the door, I saw that my blinds were uneven. The bottom of it usually sits on the windowsill, unless the wind blew it really hard or something. Part of it was sitting on the sill, the other part was just falling towards the ground. On the carpet, there was a tiny pillow and a bag of sunflower seeds--items which I have forgotten in her car on July 4th.

While I should be grateful for her bringing my stuff back, I was ultimately pissed off. First of all, she had to remove my window's screen so she can throw the things in. It's not very nice to take my place apart without their permission. If there were on-lookers, they now know how to break into my place.

Secondly, these weren't very "urgent" items. I mean, I would understand if she had to drop off my asthma inhaler or something. Or, if she dropped off a check for the amount of money that she owes us. You know, her son still gets mail sent to her house sometimes, and she would take WEEKS to give it to him, by hand, in a restaurant or something. I don't see how she came to a conclusion that a pillow and some sunflower seeds were so important that she had to give them back to me by breaking into my apartment.

Thirdly, she did this in retaliation to the fact that we won't close our windows. She told us many times to close our windows because she's afraid of the people around here. We have a lot of hispanics and african americans compared to where she lives--in the forest. Yes, she's very stereotypical. Fair enough. She's just trying to look out for us. We close and lock them when we go out, but an apartment as small as ours needs circulation of air to prevent mold growth, and...well...for me to breathe. I mean, if I kept my windows closed all the time, I'd have a mold farm, and I'm sure she won't be scrubbing our walls and celing when it's covered with mold.

I've lived in a high-crime area in Los Angeles all my life, and never once was I broken into. Who the heck does MIL think she is? I mean, yeah, she didn't take anything, but gosh, how low-class! And here I thought I was safer when I moved to Vancouver, Washington.

What's funny is, she thought I was going to break into -her- house when I first moved here. She insisted that I stayed at her house while apartment-searching. I found out, from my boyfriend, that his mother was afraid of me bringing the "Thai mafia" to rob her house, and that she told him to keep a close eye on me.

The thing is, I wanted to call the police so badly to get back at her, but she didn't take anything. Grr. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm sure she wouldn't do this to her own daughter. And I'm pretty sure that she'd be mad if her daughter's MIL did it to her daughter.

And and and...her son and I aren't even married yet! We live together, and I PAY RENT, which is fine, but it's my place! She can't treat me this way! LOL. Man, I just want to give her a swift kick in the a$$ and put her in her place. But I guess I should respect the elderly.
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:20 AM   #2  
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Oh Wow! I can't beleive that! It would be one thing if she called first and said "I'm dropping off your stuff" but to do that, OMG! I am married and if my in-laws did that I'd be ticked too!

I don't understand either what was so important about a pillow and sunflower seeds? I can see leaving a little note stating she stopped by to drop your things off, but to do that is just disrepectful!
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Old 07-10-2006, 05:48 AM   #3  
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a little creative fiction could be fun. I would call her and "thank" her for dropping the things off and her "creative" solution for getting them to you, but then express "concern" for her, because a neighbor had called to tell you that they had seen someone trying to break into your home, and how you had "almost" called the police, and how embarassing that might have been for her, and that next time she might want to call you before she was coming over.
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:18 AM   #4  
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Hmmm... Hard one. I had something similiar years ago with psycho ex MIL who came in and went through my house looking for papers over a will. The police were called and I don't regret it one little bit. Since she just tossed through the window I think I agree with the other post. I would just casually mention that a neighbor saw her and how lucky she was not to have had the police called by someone who saw her trying to open a window.

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Old 07-10-2006, 10:00 AM   #5  
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I would take that creative comment a little further....let her know that the management office was notified that someone was lurking and trying to get in by one of the neighbors and they contacted you concerned for you and your stuff....that you had to explain you have a WEIRD MIL but you told them to call the police if they ever see that happening again because you never know???
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Old 07-10-2006, 01:31 PM   #6  
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My concern would be for your longterm relationship with your fiance.
What does he think of her behavior? Is he a momma's boy or does he actually set boundaries with her?
You both need to be on the same page about her behavior and how you will respond to it. If you're not, you're gonna have a rocky marriage.
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:59 PM   #7  
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Hamster- I'm so sorry for you. I can't believe that she would crawl through your window. Then she had to hear the shower going! That's just not acceptable! How did you BF react?

So you live in Vancouver... I lived there for 5 years. I lived in Brush Prairie in the Cedars addition. It was so beautiful there, but I just couldn't take being so fare away from my kids. My Ex didn't care much for family including his daughter who still lives here in Lubbock. I have a son in Hillsboro, OR. I really like that part of the country..and I certainly understand about the mold situation. Where are you located in Vancouver?

I plan to come visit my son this Fall...I'll be sure to let you know so we can meet for lunch. I miss the wonderful Tai food there!

I think your BF needs to put his Mom in her place. Are you sure that you can put up with her? Is he really worth it? Just asking as I don't see this getting any better later unless he lets her know that he doesn't appreciate her behavior or the way she treats you.

Linda
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:02 PM   #8  
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Great Ideas here! I think I like the one about the neighbor reporting to the management office! That might get her to thinking twice before doing it again!
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Old 07-10-2006, 07:48 PM   #9  
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Heck I would take it a step further and tell you MIL that the neighbor did call the police and that you had to explain the police department that you didn't actually have a break in but that is was your crazy MIL. Let her know that you gave the police her info and they should be contacting her shortly.
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Old 07-10-2006, 08:04 PM   #10  
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I just wanted to say that your not the only one with family that likes to break in.

My boyfriend and I moved into his Aunt's basement suite at the end of December. I told his aunt that it was okay for HER to come thru and do her laundry if we were home or we weren't home.

AND THEN her KIDS starting coming and do laundry. And banging on our doors when we were sleeping to go get laundry (even tho they had access thru a back door). We started to get mad and we got yelled at for putting a lock on our door. My boyfriend and I couldn't even have sex without someone banging on the door. One morning like you, I just got out of the shower, I always walk around naked anyway thank god that morning I put clothes on because her son came running thru without knocking or anything to get a jacket that he tried to get the night before at 10pm but we told him to F-OFF!

She gaver kids our key and they started coming in when we werent home and leaving our key laying around for anyone to pick up. They wouldn't lock our doors when they were done and would go out with everyone single door to the house unlocked.

We told her we were moving out by the 15th of this month so then her are her daughter (who is moving in after us) started walking thru our place and go thru our stuff to see how much we had packed! (her son told us this)

And that's not even all of it, but you get the point!

Anyway we moved out just this weekend - THANK GOD!!!!

Anyway, just wanted to say you are not alone!
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Old 07-10-2006, 10:51 PM   #11  
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I would seriously think long and hard if this is the kind of thing I wanted to put up with for the rest of my life. It likely will get worse. Don't ignore red flags.
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Old 07-11-2006, 09:42 AM   #12  
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On the flip side:
I have a key to both my kids apartments and randomly drop things off--for example if I have been to the grocery store I may get a couple of extra of their favorite things for them, clothes they have left at my house to be washed, or extra food I have cooked to put in their freezer/fridge etc. I ALWAYS knock first and give them a few minutes to answer to make sure that nobody is home and then I call out when I first come in and wait a few seconds more by the door. They have also called me to go to do things at their apts with their pets or to check on things if they are going to be late getting home. I prefer them to be home when I come by because I love them and would rather get to actually see them.
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Old 07-11-2006, 10:54 AM   #13  
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jules...having a key makes a big difference lol

Tell your MIL that you got out of the shower to a bang on your door and it was the police responding to an attempted break n. Maybe she'll think twice about doing it next time.
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Old 07-11-2006, 10:58 AM   #14  
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Your windows were open, so she dropped the stuff through the window onto the floor? That doesn't sound like "breaking in" to me. That sounds like someone thoughtfully returning something to you. She didn't crawl into the house, did she? Because if she did, she would surely have put the things on a table top rather than on the floor.

And, if you have your windows open, noone needs lessons on how to break in, imho. When I read that first part, I thought the jimmied the window or something. But the window was open.
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Old 07-11-2006, 11:02 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kateful
Your windows were open, so she dropped the stuff through the window onto the floor? That doesn't sound like "breaking in" to me. That sounds like someone thoughtfully returning something to you. She didn't crawl into the house, did she? Because if she did, she would surely have put the things on a table top rather than on the floor.

And, if you have your windows open, noone needs lessons on how to break in, imho. When I read that first part, I thought the jimmied the window or something. But the window was open.

If someone doesn't answer the door, you don't remove their window screen to return non-essential items.
That woman was not thoughtful...more like thoughtless! She could have called first, she could have left a note, or just come back later.
This person was disrespectful, and I don't think it will stop there.
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