I know this can be a tough crowd, but what I need are blunt, honest replies! Am I being totally unreasonable?
When I moved in with Stewart (my H) back in June he told me not to worry about paying any of the bills because he knew that I still had my trailer and all the bills associated with it to pay. Around August he looked at me one night while we were watching TV and said: "You know, I don't think it's right that I'm paying all the bills and your just getting to keep all of your money."
I *calmly* reminded him of the discussion that we'd had in June when he told me not to worry about paying anything and told him that when I paid off or sold my trailer I'd help him. Since then he has been CONSTANTLY (at least twice a month) reminding me that I need to be helping him with the light bill and the water bill.
I paid the December light bill even though I didn't have any extra money because I though he'd be happy with that for awhile. Well, I sold my trailer in January. This is the 1st month I've not had a payment on it, so I can't really tell a difference financially yet.
Saturday night he started on that thing about me paying half the bills again. I told him I would if he would figure out what half was and tell me what he wanted me to pay. Keep in mind that up until now all we have ever talked about me paying was half the water and half the electric (which were the bills that increased after I moved in)...... Well, last night he came in and told me he wants me to pay him $200/month to live there.
I wasn't expecting him to want that much, and my reaction was shock. I asked him what was $400 and he said the lights, water, phone, house payment, dish network and house insurance premiums. I told him that I didn't mind paying the lights and water, but I feel that the rest of those are his bills--
1. it's "his" house (he keeps reminding me of that) and I moved into it--it's not "our" house.
2. I don't need a house phone and I don't feel as though I should have to pay for his. It's HIS--my name is not in the phone book and I don't give that number to people. I have had a house phone 8 months out of the last five years and that was when I lived in an area where I didn't have cell service. When I told him that he said that if that was the case I needed to keep my G--d a$$ off his phone. (The only time I use that phone is when I answer it--and it's usually for him!! Or my MIL calling for me)
3. I didn't ask him to get dish network and he didn't ask me if I wanted it. He purchased it on his own and signed an 18 month contract on it. Now he wants me to pay half of it. I won't even go into the problems we're having with it (Just think late night and early morning programming!!)
4. The house is HIS house. I moved into it. He'd have the same payment on it whether I lived there or not. He's told me before that if "we" do ever buy a house that he's getting it in his and his dad's name so that if we ever get divorced I won't have a claim to it--or if he dies I won't be able to sell what he worked for. I'm sorry, but this attitude does NOT make me want to contribute to the payment of "his" house.
Am I being unreasonable? A part of me feels guilty because I'm not being the "good little wife" and just GIVING him $200/month, but the other part of me thinks that $200 is a LOT of money. $200 is RENT!!
Let me also say this: I suggested that we open a joint checking account to pay the bills from--I put in $250 and he put in $250--he was TOTALLY opposed to that idea.
Help