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has anyones husband kind of lost interest in sex?

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Old 01-12-2006, 09:28 PM   #1
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Default has anyones husband kind of lost interest in sex?

I think my husband isnt attracted to me anymore. We used to have sex all the time and now we hardly ever HE uses the excuse im tired or i have a headache anyone else going through this?
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Old 01-12-2006, 10:23 PM   #2
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well my hubby hasn't he still wants it all the time,but i have.i don't want sex at all or to take off my clothes at all in front of him.i used to be so proud to show it off but not any more
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Old 01-12-2006, 10:29 PM   #3
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im sorry. but to tell you the truth if he still wants it then maybe you shouldnt be ashamed
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Old 01-12-2006, 11:43 PM   #4
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I'm the same as the other lady, My husband has never in the 15 years of our marriage not wanted sex, I call him a sex addict....although my desire for sex is not there.
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Old 01-13-2006, 12:24 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bskaar
im sorry. but to tell you the truth if he still wants it then maybe you shouldnt be ashamed
Well, if it were just about HIS feelings then this would make sense but SHE feels ashamed and it has nothing to do with HIS feelings, it seems.

My man wants me all the time. He tells me I am sexy and beautiful and constantly has his hands on me. This has little effect on the fact that I feel more uncomfortable being naked around him than when I was thinner-my feelings are about ME and not about how HE feels about me.
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Old 01-13-2006, 12:28 AM   #6
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bskaar...

Hi Neighbor!! I am in Earlville! I use to live in Dekalb though. Small world. Anyway, I am like the others.. my hubby wants it all of the time. But I do not want any part of it. Until my body is normal I am just not interested. Maybe your hubby is truly tired though. Has things changed... job, hours, stress, demands at work, kids, your health, whatever it is... it could be stressing him out and making him tired. Or maybe he is thinking about you and how you may be feeling. It could be anything. But I would ask him about it.
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Old 01-13-2006, 01:06 AM   #7
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I have the same problem with my husband I was 120-125 when we met and had 4 kids in 5yrs. I am now 173.(5'2")It hurts I was 7mo. pregnant with our 3rd child when we got married and we got a jacuzzi room what a waste we didn't make love once during our honeymoon and I will always remember that.I lost all my weight and then some after our 1st and 2nd child. He never says anything, but treats me differant. we are only intimate about 8 times a year or if has had some alcohol(which is not often). It hurts I know. That is one reason I want to lose my weight. I want the romance and passion that was there before I became so heavy. Good luck
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Old 01-13-2006, 01:38 AM   #8
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It could be about him and not you, and nothing to do with your weight.

We have some exciting bedroom activity in our house, oh 4 times a year at the moment it would average out at. It's about him, he's getting older, he feels tired at the end of the day (and in the morning when he might be interested, I am out the door and off to work). I know he still loves me and is still attracted to me, it's just the mechanics are a bit lazy.

It's something we are trying to work through.............his solution was to buy me ahem a battery operated solution!!!

It's no substitute for the love of a good man though. But try not to make it about you, because it probably isn't.
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Old 01-13-2006, 01:45 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogini
Well, if it were just about HIS feelings then this would make sense but SHE feels ashamed and it has nothing to do with HIS feelings, it seems.
Um, I think bskaar was saying this because, I don't know...she just told people something personal that's hurting her, then someone comes along and rubs it in that her husband always wants sex, when in reality, this post is about bskaar....not how everyone else's husband "can't keep their hands off them". I just think it's a little rude (and probably more hurtful) to say stuff like that...just my opinion though Take it with a grain of salt.

Anyway...bskaar....back to YOU. You should probably just talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling, and ask him for his honest opinion. If it is the case that it's your size that's bugging him, maybe that'll be your motivation to lose the weight. But, in order to successfully lose weight, you need to love yourself first and foremost, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know it must hurt, so tell him this. If he insists that it's not your weight, then maybe he really is stressed out or has a headache. Just remember, no man is worth your tears, and if he's not doing his job in making you feel beautiful no matter what size, maybe it's time to start looking for someone who DOES...but you need to be happy with yourself, and more confident in order to do that.
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Old 01-13-2006, 07:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bskaar
I think my husband isnt attracted to me anymore. We used to have sex all the time and now we hardly ever HE uses the excuse im tired or i have a headache anyone else going through this?
I have been with my hubby for twenty years and our sex life has been up and down. I am a touchy-feely kind of person. He has never been a touchy person and when I met him he had been celibate for almost 2 years. I was the one who had to reach for his hand to hold and I initiated sex most of the time and I weighed 125 lbs then. Over the years we go through slumps, sometimes he's the one saying no and sometimes it me. He was really upset recently because I was so depressed about turning 40 and the whole empty nest thing after being super Mom after almost 21 years that I just was not interested in sex and I didn't even want to be touched.
I hope all works out for you...

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Old 01-13-2006, 09:34 AM   #11
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I have to agree with some of the others, about he really could be tired, stressed or whatever. I think the idea that men always want it all the time is crazy. When they are teens maybe but like women they to go through times when it is not on the top of there lists. Like what others have said, in my marriage there has been times when he is not interested and times when I am not. I have noticed though when I take the focus off the sex and more on just loving on him (more hugs, kisses backrubs whatever) he usually starts to become more interested again. I think they need to feel the love just as much as we do and sometimes that is all it takes.
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Old 01-13-2006, 09:46 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danzer5570
Um, I think bskaar was saying this because, I don't know...she just told people something personal that's hurting her, then someone comes along and rubs it in that her husband always wants sex, when in reality, this post is about bskaar....not how everyone else's husband "can't keep their hands off them". I just think it's a little rude (and probably more hurtful) to say stuff like that...just my opinion though Take it with a grain of salt.
It didn't sound like she was trying to rub anything in to me. If she was trying to rub it in, I doubt she'd say that she wasn't interested in sex because of her body image. In the end, she did ask if anyone had been in a similar situation and, to me and I'm sure a few others, it sounds like she was leading the way for an open discussion about people's experiences with the situation.
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Old 01-13-2006, 12:23 PM   #13
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I think talking to him about how your feeling is best.Others have mentioned maybe he's tired,age has some effects,and so on.Without knowing how long you've been married,or how old he is,it's harder to get an idea of what could possibly be going on.

My husband and I certainly have our ups and downs in the bedroom,but if it becomes a problem for one of us,we try to talk it out and come to some sort of comprimise...or at least come to an understanding of why either of us aren't in the mood.

Good luck!
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Old 01-13-2006, 03:54 PM   #14
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Some time the ahem the "battery operated solution" could be a good thing for the both of you to well ..... ......you know the rest. I feel the same way with my hunny sometimes. I just feel like someone who just does house work..That one of the reasons I am tring to do this. I want to be the one who turns his head...Try to talk to him see how he feels. Get to know whats on his mine. He may want to talk but just dont know where to start..who knows...Hope this helps

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Old 01-13-2006, 04:13 PM   #15
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I agree with talking this out it could just be and intamacy connection issue, but I also would recomend a visit to the Dr. There could be a medical issue neither one of you are aware of and his Dr. may be able to help with a little pill Bob Dole like to use Good luck
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