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Old 06-28-2005, 11:15 PM   #1  
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Hello!!

I was just wondering if eloping is the same as getting married when a 'Justice of the Peace' marrys you, is it the same as getting married and having a preist or whatever marry you? My bf (fiance really, but I still say bf) want to get married April 26th 2006, 7, or 8, depending on how we decide to do it. We don't know if we want to have a SMALL normal ceremony, get eloped or take a trip to Las Vegas & LA and get married in Las Vegas.

Thanks
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Old 06-29-2005, 08:17 AM   #2  
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When you elope, you get married. The difference between eloping and having a wedding (AFAIK) is that if you elope, usually the only people there are your two witnesses, and there is no fancy ceremony, and it is often sudden and unexpected (or like you do it because you know your parents won't approve) though a lot of couples do it just because they don't want to deal with a fancy ceremony or a reception.

As for who marries you, if you are married by a justice of the peace, priest, rabbi, or anyone legally allowed to do it, you will be legally married (civil marriage). If you want a religious marriage, then you would not want to be married by a justice of the peace. If you're not really religious at all, these are the same, but some people think that to be married "in the eyes of God" you need to have a religious ceremony.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question. My parents were married by a justice of the peace, and only had a few guests, but it was not an elopement. I dunno, it's just terminology I guess. Typically an elopement implies that you ran off and got married, then came back and told everyone after the fact. Like "Hey mom, guess what I did last weekend? I got married!"
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Old 06-29-2005, 08:49 AM   #3  
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Thanks paperclippy. My mom and stepdad were married by a justice of the peace as well, but I went and my little brother went as well as a few other family members. Were just not sure if we want to deal with planning a wedding and going through the whole process, it is expensive too, so were just checking out all of our options to decide what we would want to do. Both our families would probably be disappointed if we just went off and got married but oh well, thats our choice. His mom doesn't even know were engaged, b/c she would freak out like she does about almost everything, one she would say were too young (both 19 and have been together for 3 years), and two she would freak that he spent money on a ring. I swear she thinks were 9 years old instead of 19! lol She would probably want us to wait until were 30 to get married and 50 to have kids!
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Old 06-29-2005, 05:26 PM   #4  
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Depends on your values. Legally they are both the same. However, if you're religious you may not feel like you are married if it isn't done by a man of God.

I'm not saying either is right or wrong. That's just the only difference I can think of.
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Old 06-29-2005, 09:06 PM   #5  
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Neither of us are relgious, so that doesn't matter much lol
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Old 06-30-2005, 04:57 PM   #6  
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Well, in hindsight I wish we'd just eloped. We had a very small ceremony and reception, and it was really beautiful, but it wasn't what I wanted our wedding day to be. It ended up being more about the party and the food and the clothes and the guests, and not about US. I like the idea of eloping for that reason - it's all about the couple. No fancy stuff, just two people who love each other, joining their lives together.

But, we've been together more than 5 years now and the memories of our wedding are getting just a little bit fuzzy, so I can't complain too much. It really was a beautiful day. Whatever you do, I wish you both all the happiness in the world and I hope that your day, however you decide to get married, is the most beautiful day you can imagine.
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Old 06-30-2005, 05:59 PM   #7  
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Then I agree with grey-eyed girl. Make it about YOU. Eloping really is the best way to do that. We had a nice wedding, but there was alot of stress involved. If we had it to do over again, we'd probably elope to make it official, then go to a minister (We are religious), then have a party to celebrate with family and friends.

I hope your special day is wonderful!
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Old 06-30-2005, 06:42 PM   #8  
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Hi Trixie, I got married by Elvis at the Viva Las Vegas Chapel.. We had a party with friends and family when we returned.. Had the best time -but this is my 2nd marriage (2 the same guy).. We had a Blast!

A friend of mine alway wanted the Cinderella Wedding, not only was it stressful, but they are still paying off about 30,000 worth of it on various credit cards...
She now thinks she would have done things differently..

I good friend of mine is planning to get married on a beach on an Island with whatever friends and family can attend...then having a party when they return. This is how she wants it - and is withstanding the pressure from family to do a traditional wedding...
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Old 07-01-2005, 10:37 AM   #9  
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I did the full family big deal in a church, and my sister eloped (she lived in Australia and ran away to Greece to get married!!!)

I think my sister is really pleased with her decision, and she and her hubby seem really happy. It did cause some sadness amongst both sets of parents, that they weren't present and part of their big day, and me of course, but it was more important to me that my sister is happy.

At the end of the day you can only do what makes you happy, but do spare a little thought for how others may feel, both parents involved were fairly zen about it in the end, but it could have all backfired.
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Old 07-01-2005, 12:55 PM   #10  
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Whatever you do make sure it is something personal to you. There are no set rules to follow, so have fun with it. People spend way too much money on a ceremony and dress. I had a very creative, inexpensive wedding outdoors by a JOP and we used the 'wedding' money towards a house. Best decision we ever made!
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Old 07-02-2005, 05:25 AM   #11  
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My husband and I were already engaged when we eloped and then told everyone later. We got married in Virginia and it only costs us $25, with no blood tests, or excessive paperwork. We've been married ten years now. We didn't want all of the stress, both emotionally and financially, that comes with a traditional wedding. Also, at the time, his job was going to send him overseas and they wouldn't include me because I was only the finance, so we showed them!!

We got married by a local judge, and her name was Butt, yes Judge Butt married us! Our witness was her secretary. She gave us a cute little souvenir wedding certificate that I now have in a frame. After the ceremony, we went outside and got a stranger to take our picture in front of some flowers at the courthouse.
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Old 07-02-2005, 09:09 AM   #12  
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Our JOP was a 'Weiner'....I wonder if she knows your Butt?
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:53 AM   #13  
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My dentist (now retired) was Dr. Crook.
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Old 07-02-2005, 02:02 PM   #14  
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my parents paid me to elope. they told me if i didnt have a ceremony they would give me money. i jumped at the chance. my hubby and i road tripped to vegas and got married at the top of bootleg canyon. vegas on one side, lake mead on the other. then we mountain biked to the bottm. our parents and my sister and best friend came, but there was no ceremony. just a preacher who gave us a civil service instead of a religious one. best decision i think we've ever made.
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Old 09-02-2005, 12:28 AM   #15  
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We eloped 25 almost 26 years ago we didn't spend a lot for the ceremony instead we invested in the relationship and so far so good.

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