I've been gone for quite some time due to an emergency but have worked hard to get back on track. As the title says, I am beyond embarrassed about my boyfriends eating habits. I love him to bits and hate that I judge him so harshly in my head. First, we're moving in together and I don't know how the **** to handle the food in the house. He eats - A LOT. What normally gives me three meals only gives him one. Yesterday I made homemade chili and bought us cinnamon rolls to splurge on. I ate a small bowl of chili, a piece of cornbread, and my cinnamon roll later that night. He ate two bowls of chili, three pieces of cornbread, his cinnamon roll, and mochi ice cream. When I eat I am slower and careful not to smack, chew with my mouth open, etc. He eats in a way that a stereotypical larger person would - quickly, sometimes loudly, huge bites, and then if it all doesn't go in his mouth at first he just shoves it in with his fingers. I seriously don't know how to deal with this issue or even talk to him about his food consumption. Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.
Sorry to say but if he's been like this all his life it's likely he's not going to change. There is a small possibility he could change though. You will have to have a serious conversation with him and keep working with him, reminding him when he relapses to his old ways. But do it in a gentle way, don't criticize him. And if that doesn't work, you will have to decide if it's worth to put up with his ways for the rest of your life. You are still single so you have time to figure out before you get married. Don't make the mistake of getting married if his habits annoys you. You might have to think about the possibility he will always be overweight. And it's hard to lose weight when your husband is not in sync with you.
Has your boyfriend ever mentioned wanting to lose weight too?
Personally it's tough for me as well when it comes to my fiance eating a TON at dinner time, but I know it's because he doesn't eat a proper breakfast or lunch. So literally he has three helpings at dinner because that's all he's eaten the entire day. It's a horrible eating habit, but I understand it because he works on the road all day and never breaks for food. I force myself to only eat the portion size that is correct for me, and I tell myself to eat "slower" so that it seems like there's more there, taking smaller bites instead of hoovering it in like I used to, and like he does.
It's tough when you're moving in the right direction and he isn't.
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Recent studies have shown that eating just one meal a day is not necessarily bad for you, depending on what and how much you are eating. It's called Intermittent Fasting. Going without food for hours at a time can have some beneficial results.
Stunningsparkle's BF eating habits are a completely different story. It can be disgusting to watch, embarassing in public, and eating too fast without chewing properly is very unhealthy. I don't know how you would go about approaching that subject without some very hurt feelings. This is something that should be addressed by parents when kids are young. Proper eating etiquite. There was a guy at work who ate his lunch so fast that he was just shoveling it in faster than he could possibly be chewing it. He was finished in a couple minutes. Watching him eat was like seeing a horrible accident but not being able to turn away.
This would be a big issue for me. One time I broke up with a guy simply because he held his fork overhand and shoveled food in. Nope, not gonna be looking at that every day for the rest of my life haha.
Eating habits were one of the factors I was looking for a in a partner. And chose a husband who is a healthy eater. When you're young and in love, bad habits seem like minor annoyances. But 15yrs down the road and kids in tow they become huge roadblocks to your happiness. Imagine your future kids learning these eating habits. Would you want that? Over time you will go from annoyed to resentful and believe me, resentment is bitter and it's ugly.
I know it sounds bad to suggest not being with someone based on how they look or what they eat, but at the end of the day you have to look out for yourself and if you struggle yourself with food then you might be entering a future frought with food troubles for the both of you. Is that the best decision? Is that a future you look forward to?
Stunning, I have no idea how old you are or if this is your first "serious" relationship but speaking as a person who is soon to be 52 and has been married since I was 18, you need to fix this. It's what I call a dealbreaker. Trust me. You think it's gross/embarassing/verging on disgusting now, it's only going to get worse. Does he even eat this way in public?
Is he just REALLY hungry? Does he need to get into the habit of eating more frequently? Once you live together you might be able to get him into better eating habits in terms of quality and frequency. Something as silly as a filling breakfast might help.
If he's just one of those younger guys with a metabolism through the roof you might try parking the largest mirror you can across from him at dinner time. When he asks "What's up?" You simply say, "I want you to see what I'm forced to watch when you eat." He's going to get offended, but if you don't make him consciously aware of what he's doing his behavior isn't going to improve. Can you really live with watching a human competitive eater ... for the rest of your life? What if your relationship eventually includes kids? How do you think you'll be able to enforce decent manners in your kids if dad doesn't help set the example, too?
Trying to get him to kill his appetite a little, with an appetizer of sorts -- soup served scalding hot will slow him down LOL -- might knock down his hunger so he's less famished and less likely to gobble.
As for eating way more than you ... yeah, he can get away with that for a while, but in time it's going to catch up with him, when he hits his late30s/40s, if he doesn't change his eating habits he's going to start piling on weight. Incidentally, part of the reason he can eat so much at a sitting is that he's gobbling his food. It takes 20 minutes for signals to get to the brain that the stomach is full.
Good luck my dear. I simply reiterate, good partners/husbands are trained, not born. If you don't take a stand early be prepared to eventually grow to despise those habits that are merely annoying now.
Stunning, I have no idea how old you are or if this is your first "serious" relationship but speaking as a person who is soon to be 52 and has been married since I was 18, you need to fix this. It's what I call a dealbreaker. Trust me. You think it's gross/embarassing/verging on disgusting now, it's only going to get worse. Does he even eat this way in public?
Is he just REALLY hungry? Does he need to get into the habit of eating more frequently? Once you live together you might be able to get him into better eating habits in terms of quality and frequency. Something as silly as a filling breakfast might help.
If he's just one of those younger guys with a metabolism through the roof you might try parking the largest mirror you can across from him at dinner time. When he asks "What's up?" You simply say, "I want you to see what I'm forced to watch when you eat." He's going to get offended, but if you don't make him consciously aware of what he's doing his behavior isn't going to improve. Can you really live with watching a human competitive eater ... for the rest of your life? What if your relationship eventually includes kids? How do you think you'll be able to enforce decent manners in your kids if dad doesn't help set the example, too?
Trying to get him to kill his appetite a little, with an appetizer of sorts -- soup served scalding hot will slow him down LOL -- might knock down his hunger so he's less famished and less likely to gobble.
As for eating way more than you ... yeah, he can get away with that for a while, but in time it's going to catch up with him, when he hits his late30s/40s, if he doesn't change his eating habits he's going to start piling on weight. Incidentally, part of the reason he can eat so much at a sitting is that he's gobbling his food. It takes 20 minutes for signals to get to the brain that the stomach is full.
Good luck my dear. I simply reiterate, good partners/husbands are trained, not born. If you don't take a stand early be prepared to eventually grow to despise those habits that are merely annoying now.
Embarassed by boyfriend's eating habits
