[SenseAndSensibility]

Hey everyone!!! Just having one of those days, thinking out loud and would love to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences.

I've gotten to the point where my weight loss is really noticeable and I'm at a size I guess I haven't been in years. I don't mind the compliments even if I find it embarrassing and don't like huge attention. Now though, I'm starting to get the "your perfect exactly now" comments. And now it makes me feel conflicted, cause I'm not where I want to be yet and want to continue to loose fat and change my body composition, but people don't want me to loose more.

I've lost weight but I'm still really flabby, I want more muscle and I really want a normal BMI and weight, you know? I've always said I may not go as low as 120... I've never been there before and don't know if I'd like it. Lowest I remember being in highs school was 136 and I was still chubby. I'm going by how I look and how I feel, I still want curves after all!

I know its my body and other peoples opinion shouldn't matter, but it also kind of does to me.It's really hard to be strong about this. My mom had an eating disorder and when people say things like "so you want to look anorexic?" It really gets to me... The last thing I want is disorder eating or a disordered body. I've seen that first hand, lived that through my mom. It affected everybody in our home watching her struggle.

And then there is the whole "you are perfect now" thing. So, at this exact weight, no more, no less, is perfect? Before I wasn't, later I won't be... What about if I was pregnant? Then what? No more "perfect" for me. It's crushing.

I'd like to think I'm reasonable. I don't want to be disordered in my eating, I know it affects others and not just me. But, like I said, I'm not where I want to be. I'm still flabby, lacking some lean muscle. I'm still considered overweight. I liking how I look, I'm starting to enjoy clothes more than I have in a long time. But I also want to be fitter. I'm enjoying this lifestyle change, my husband is training to be a cop and I want to be able to do the things he does as a family, go for the hikes, the walks, be active, etc. But I don't want people to suddenly stop liking me if I loose more, or, heaven forbid, think me anorexic. And what if they are right and I am disordered??? I know plenty of people told my mom about her eating disorder... And that was out of concern and love. It was our business to see her beat anorexia. I don't want to put people through the stress and worry of thinking I have an eating disorder.

How about some of you? Do you get these comments? How did you deal with them? What did people do when you lost even more on top of what they considered perfect? Just want to hear other peoples experiences.

[IanG]

Look. I have lost count of the times people on hear complain that nobody is noticing their weight loss.

And I have also lost count of the times that I have responded by saying that when people do start to notice, they wish they had not.

You are going through this now.

My advice is to go for what you want and ignore the wishes of others.

It is very easy to have an entire weightloss effort derailed by a comment from a loved one along the lines of "you look gaunt", "you look anorexic" or "I preferred you when you were fat".

Trust me. My first weightloss effort when I was 17 backfired with a comment like that and led to a 2 decade period of obesity.

Now I do not care what other people say or think. In fact, what they think is none of my business. I would even be as extreme to say that includes your husband.

Focus instead on how you feel and how you look in the mirror (with clothes on and off). Use those metrics as your guide as well as common sense.

You know better than anyone else if you are not eating enough or are not nutritionally balanced.

And, of course, exercise if you want to look lean and toned.

[HIheart]

People flippantly say these things thinking they're giving you a compliment. Take them with a grain of salt and do what makes you happy!

[kaplods]

If you don't trust your own judgement, ask your doctor. He or she can tell you what your lowest and highest healthy weight would be. Anywhere you want to be within that range is nobody's business but your own.


If you're risking your health, it affects your loved ones too, but if you and your doctor are happy with your weight goals, nobody's business but your own.

[nickilaughs]

At 5' 1". I think it's perfectly reasonable to have more weight loss in mind. I would re evaluate every 10#s or so. And what Ian said about building muscle rings true.
Everyone has a set range and BMI is not always the best indicator. My sister can weigh 130s at our height (she's 5' 11") and look fine just skinny build. I weighed that I'd probably be in the hospital. I think I got too skinny comments in the 150s. Just different structure.

[MauiKai]

Please don't mind what other people say. Just be healthy. Tell anyone who comments, "It's rude to comment on another person's body, please stop."

[SenseAndSensibility]

Thanks everyone Its one of those things I know I should know better... But sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. I think the doctor visit is a good idea to when people start making anorexic comments. With a doctors bill of health all of us can be assured.

[Palestrina]

Perfect the "smile and nod" and go on about your business without letting other people's opinions sway you. Except I would make the exception to those who ask you "so you want to look anorexic?" I'd reserve a little sarcasm for this stupid question and say "yes, I'd LOVE to look anorexic!" I mean really, nobody says that unless they intend malice.

It's amazing how people feel entitled to make judgments on out body and it has derailed a lot of us. Since I was a teenager I've been told "your face is so beautiful your look like a supermodel if you lost weight!" Why should that be my goal anyway? I read this amazing article about body shaming, it's a great read! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7185210?utm_campaign=naytev&utm_content=554ccf6be4 b09930aba68242

So,no people will not stop liking you if you lose more weight and if they do then good riddance!