[lira]

honestly, they used to annoy me, a lot.
in my office, there's a bunch of girls that all stick together and look for sugar daddies to support their glamorous lifestyle.

in my family, there is one gay cousin who also does the same. he goes looking for sugar daddies on the internet to pay for his lifestyle. He also get to travel with these men to various fashionable cities: Paris, Milan, skiing at Alpen and relaxing at the luxurious resort in Maldives.

i used to get mad at these people because they arew proud of their "achievements", their gifts, their travels which are all paid by those men.
They form cliques at work and look down at other people for not living a fabulous lifetyle like them.
i hate my gay cousin as well for not having a real job, only living off men.

my life was filled with bitterness & ungratefulness all this time until i realize that i should just focus on my own happiness & improvement.
what about you? have you met these type of people?

[PatPat]

I have met them and merely feel sad for them if I feel anything at all.

I like my own freedom, and if they want to give up theirs it is their decision. Since I don't want to live like them, why should I be angry or mad at them?

[lira]

patpat,
good point there.
that's one thing I don't realize about these short cut people, is that they are trading their freedom with some luxuries they get from those men.
although my job is average middle class, but I have freedom to live as I please. Thanks for the eye opening post.

[tinneranne2]

I find pretending to like someone to be faaaar more taxing than doing a 9-5. So to me, it sounds like those folks put in a lot of work for what they are getting. lol.

There are lots of lifestyle choices I wouldn't make, but I try not to look down on people or let them make me angry. Not saying I always succeed, but man do I try.

[lira]

tinneranne2
good point!
the sugar daddy hunting girls at my office that form a clique always behave over the top, obnoxious & look down on me or people that aren't looking for sugar daddies to support a luxurious lifestyle. that's what I hate about those people.
But nowadays I just don't care anymore and prefer to focus on myself, my life & my improvement.

i used to feel jealous towards my gay cousin that doesn't have to do 9 to 5 but gets big pocket money from the men he's meeting.
He also looked down on me, nose high up in the air, thinking to himself that he's the most hip, classy, coutured person in the family who has traveled to luxury places.

I feel better now that I stop caring & learn to focus on my own life.

[tinneranne2]

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Unfortunately, its also totally natural and a very difficult habit to break yourself of.

[seagirl]

It sounds a little bit like you do still care, since you started a thread to talk about it. It can be frustrating to see other people have things that you want (even if you think they got them in ways you wouldn't) or to feel that they are judging you as you are them.

It also sounds like you are working on getting past it and truly focusing on you, which is a good start. I wish you luck, it's not an easy thing but it certainly is freeing!

[lira]

tinneranne2
i agree 100 percent. This is why I must stop comparing my life to other people's

it's annoying sometimes when I talk to my mom and she says "I just saw gay cousin's facebook he just went back from a shopping spree in paris buying Louis Vuitton bags. Wow he's living the life"

but yeah..we can't change people. we just have to change our thinking.

[PatPat]

Your average middle class job is something your mom should be proud of and bragging about. You made it into a grown up that is hard working and independent. My mom brags about that (raising an independent daughter that fights her way through life, while her girlfriends have all these "problem kids")
Your job gives you the chance to be free and stay free, to plan for getting older. It gives you the chance to dress as you like, go wherever you like and plan your day as you like, without having to be a pretty accesoire of someone and be doomed if the person dumps you.
You can look for a partner of your choice, that makes you happy, because you do not depend on finding someone that can feed you.
And shopping sprees can also be a way of filling your own emptiness, "needing" expensive clothes and acessoires can be a hint that someone isnt happy with just themselves.

I am also not too happy with myself at times, but I prefer to learn to accept me. I like that better, while living my free life. And if I see "short cut" people I hope for them that that is what they want and that they are happy with themselves. But sometimes it is just like watching someone binge eating...

[nelie]

Honestly, I think that those type of people and the people they find are perfect for eachother. There are some people in this world who want a specific type of mate, usually someone who is docile and extremely attractive and they have the money to pay for it. If someone wants to fit that role, then the can.

I don't think it is taking a short cut in life but rather figuring out what you want. On the flip side, for those that want to live off someone else's money and not make their own, it is a risky proposition. That person can leave you/dump you and you have nothing to stand on.

I'd say just live your life how you want to

[memememe76]

Such relationships rarely involve one partner not knowing the motivations of the other partner. Usually both partners know what is taking place in their relationship. So, if they're okay with it, I'm okay with it.

As for your cousin looking down on you, it probably has nothing to do with his love life. It may be due to age, his upbringing, his personality. People can be in "healthy", loving relationships and still look down on other people.

[kaplods]

This kind of behavior can only be seen as a "shortcut" if one assumes that the goal in life is to acquire stuff.

I don't. In fact, I don't believe there are truly any shortcuts in life at all, only choices and consequences. In every choice, there are trade-offs which eliminates other choices and consequences that open up or prevent even more choices.

I like stuff as much as the next person, but not enough to sacrifice my principles and personal freedoms and autonomy, in order to acquire .

I try not to judge others who do, even those who break the law to do it. I worked with juvenile and adults offenders much of my career, including three years as a probation officer. Most were nice people, who made some very unfortunate choices. Usually I could understand why they made unlawful choices, but sometimes I hadn't a clue. Often, they didn't have a clue either.

If material wealth is important enough to you, you will make the necessary choices and sacrifices to get it. How hard you work and how much you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it, will largely determine the speed and extent to which you succeed.

Getting a "sugar daddy" (or mommy) or even robbing a bank, requires just as many risks, choices and trade-offs as any other life choice.

It can be difficult to avoid feeling judgemental or envious of other people's lives, but it's almost always unproductive and unfair. You can't judge another person fairly, even after you've walked a thousand miles in their shoes, because they will never entirely be your shoes.

I don't think that lifestyle comparisons are even necessarily a path to discontent as long as you can honestly and nonjudgementally ask and answer the question "what (if anything) am I willing to risk and sacrifice to live like that?"

[kurisitaru]

I don't hate those people, sometimes I envy them. I mean, travel on someone else's dime? Sweet deal. I don't hate them, they "Work" for that as well. Hours in the gym, dealing with people they may not like, it's just a different type of work.

I personally earn my own money, but to be honest, if a NICE guy rolled around that wanted me and he made banging bucks, I'd sure as **** be happy to travel with him, spend time with him, etc. I wouldn't take advantage of it, but some people are happy spending money on ones they love. I make a good amount and I love spending my money on my family. I buy them electronics, vacations, etc. Because it makes them happy. That doesn't mean they didn't "deserve" the gifts.

If they are happy, then who cares? Same with stay at home parents. If the person staying at home WANTS to do it, and the person going to work is happy being the "bacon" then who cares? Some people would look down at the stay at home parent, or even look down at the bread winner. But if they are happy, why is it my business to butt in?

[novangel]

I have no respect for gold diggers. They are scumbags.

[3fcuser291505109]

Originally Posted by lira

honestly, they used to annoy me, a lot.
in my office, there's a bunch of girls that all stick together and look for sugar daddies to support their glamorous lifestyle.

in my family, there is one gay cousin who also does the same. he goes looking for sugar daddies on the internet to pay for his lifestyle. He also get to travel with these men to various fashionable cities: Paris, Milan, skiing at Alpen and relaxing at the luxurious resort in Maldives.

i used to get mad at these people because they arew proud of their "achievements", their gifts, their travels which are all paid by those men.
They form cliques at work and look down at other people for not living a fabulous lifetyle like them.
i hate my gay cousin as well for not having a real job, only living off men.

my life was filled with bitterness & ungratefulness all this time until i realize that i should just focus on my own happiness & improvement.
what about you? have you met these type of people?

Yes my 19 yr old niece has stated as such (that she will marry a sugar daddy) and they seem to think that all they NEED to bring to the table is their so called good looks, i haven't noticed this as prolific in any other generation as this one. I'm speaking specifically of some of the teenage girls out there and not generalizing but this is indeed what i've heard and witnessed.

I don't know about anything else that you have mentioned and don't really give it much thought.