1 being easy and 10 being nearly impossible - how hard is it for you to let things just roll off? How bad do you need to have the last word or prove your point in a disagreement (or argument) when you know you are not in the wrong?
If you are able to just let things drop, HOW do you do it?
Then there are some people that no matter what are never wrong under any circumstances. Those people drive me up a wall. I'm stubborn but even I can admit when I'm wrong.
Truthfully, I'm probably an 8. I'm sure I'm going to lose years off my lifespan over pride. I want to change this about myself but it's hard. I wish I didn't care when certain people are mean to me.
It depends on who the disagreement is with. If it's a random stranger or an acquaintance, and they are absolutely not understanding why they are wrong (assuming they are actually wrong), it's pretty easy, like a 1 or a 2. Mostly because I don't really care about these people being wrong, or their opinions of me.
If it's a close friend or a family member, it's a little harder, because I actually legitimately care that they are incorrect and *want* them to be right, so I try a little harder before bowing out. Maybe a 5 or so.
Aaaaaaand if it's my husband? Crank that all the way up to 8 or 9 because I don't like things sitting between us, and if something crops up I will hammer it until it's flat again. Luckily he's pretty good about seeing where I'm coming from and understanding why I'm feeling like he's wrong. Both of us are insanely stubborn, so if we're both convinced we're right, and not on the same page... the fight can be pretty epic. And loud. 6 years together, between dating and marriage, and we've only had 2 of those heh.
I'm a bit like FeraFilia. With strangers I will bite my tongue, to a point. Although sometimes the things a stranger says will stick with me. I had a guy call me a hurtful name in a parking lot years ago and I still smart over it.
But yeah, if it's my SO, I will beat a point into the ground. Usually. Our last argument, I just let it go. But it's taken me 14 years to be able to do that, and I can still only do it occasionally.
Strangers I'm a 0. I don't care if some person is wrong about the sky being blue, or wrong about a historical fact, or about a scientific one. I may get annoyed when their wrongness starts to effect me, but in general with strangers, I just don't care.
If it starts to effect me, I can get a little higher. I mean like butting into my every day life. If I was worried about my job because a co-worker was wrong about something I was working on, yeah... I would be a 10, and I would make sure that co-worker was straightened out entirely about the matter so I don't lose my job.
I guess I pick my battles. Sometimes it's worth bringing out research and writing a full report (totally have done before) in order to get a point across, other times... meh. I won't even speak out because it's just not worth my time. Why fuss about what a stranger thinks? Why care what a person I will never see again thinks about things? If a co-worker or family member is wrong about something as well, I usually am a 3, I'll state my facts but if they get bull headed about it, I usually just tell them they can think what ever they want, and promptly change the subject because it's not worth my time to educate them on facts.
I'm about an 8. It's hard for me to let things go because I want to get my point across. Sometimes I'm still thinking about it days later, especially if I didn't say what I wanted and I know the moment to say it is gone.
However, there are times where I'm at 1. These times I realise that nothing I can do will change a thing, that it's the other person/s who has the problem and I'm collateral. It takes practice to gain the awareness, but I think that learning to realise when things are out of your control and you can't change them helps to reduce the scale, if you like
This is a great question. A decade ago I would have been a 10 across the board! lol....but this really came from the delusion that everyone was operating at the same intellectual level I was. I've met many people that I completely disagree with, but they clearly and logically lay out their argument and they understand the point I'm making, we just disagree. So I was a 10 because I had difficultly accepting that some people are basically too dumb to have an discussion/argument/ disagreement/ debate etc.
As I've gotten older, whether I know the person well or its a stranger, their level of ability to have, express and receive information to really be worth my effort nearly always determines if I will keep going or just let it go. And George Carlin was right that it takes about 8 seconds to realize someone is stupid If I see someone as smart enough to understand the issue (the more complex the issue, the more I expect from them) well, then I'll keep at it, because I know they can understand....however if its pretty evident that they are lacking the knowledge, education or mentally capacity to really engage in what it is I just let it go. I wouldn't argue with a child or mentally ill person, because they don't have the same reasoning ability, so why would I argue with an "normal" adult that is incapable of the same. Sometimes people are not "stupid" but they have some other emotional or mental issue that makes them incapable of seeing other points of view like true narcissism or other personality disorders. In that case, I usually don't argue the actual topic (why bother, the person will never admit they are wrong, or even attempt to see your point of view), but in these cases I will just let them know that their personality issue makes them unable to effectively "hear" other people's points so I'm not going to waste my breath.
Again, this is not about agreeing. I've known many people and those I'm friends with that I disagree with on various topics, its about the person's ability to actually discuss these topics that makes it worth my time.
Last edited by GlamourGirl827; 08-03-2014 at 09:40 AM.
I am probably a 2, maybe a 3 if the subject is really important. Generally I prefer to let people who are wrong find out for themselves. I don't bother with "I told you so" either. Being wrong is humbling enough, there is no call to rub it in. Being right does not mean you "win" or you are the "better person" so why bother? You can't really try to clean someone else's house if your own is dirty. I devote my energy to working on my issues, not correcting others. It's not really my business.
A decade ago I would have been a 10 across the board! lol....but this really came from the delusion that everyone was operating at the same intellectual level I was.
This is kind of my issue. I try to rationalize irrational people.
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It's hard for me to let things go because I want to get my point across. Sometimes I'm still thinking about it days later, especially if I didn't say what I wanted and I know the moment to say it is gone.
This is the worst. When you were too pissed at the time but then have the perfect argument after the fact.
I would say probably a 1 or 2...I honestly don't care. I am at a point in my life where things don't bother me like they used to, I let a lot of stuff roll right off my back.
I learnt the hard way to ask myself if it's worth it before taking such battles on. So while I used to be an 8 (and a 10 after a few drinks) I have been reconditioned to be about a 5.
After some ego dissolution and self-discovery with nontraditional tools (the hippies were right, you know) I've gone from 8 to about 2.5. Right now I'm a 3-4 because PMS and wisdom teeth removal pain suck.
Scale 1-10
