I'm so sorry for your loss, it's amazing how animals can find a place in a family and become an inseparable part of a family. Even though he is no longer with you, he lives on inside of your heart.
Your situation sounds very similar to what I experienced a few years ago. I had a dog, Pepsi, she was my little princess. I always had a special connection to her and I feel like she felt the same way - she would always come to me when she was scared of a thunderstorm for example. She got cancer and died a couple of years ago, it was heart breaking. A few months later, the daughter of my Dad's friend had a litter of black lab puppies and offered to give us one for free. Pepsi was a black lab mix, so it was a bit weird to wrap my head around us getting another black dog. Even though she wouldn't look the same, even the colour was enough to make me hesitate. But when I looked at some black lab pups my heart melted and we went ahead and accepted their offer. At first it was lovely having a gorgeous little puppy, but I still had this strange feeling about it. I, too, felt like maybe we were replacing Pepsi. In time that feeling changed, because as our new dog, Luna, grew up we learned more about her and she is an entirely different dog to Pepsi.
I can really relate to you feeling hesitant about your new addition because of the colour/breed, but over time that feeling fades. You are giving a new cat a happy, loving home and that is something wonderful. It could never be disrespectful to a memory of a former kitty, but rather a tribute to them.
I understand your pain. I lost a cat two weeks ago, and feel terrible about it because I was adopting a dog (that had been cat-tested and had already been in our home for 8 days incident free) and the dog all of a sudden killed my cat. I know that if I'd not brought the dog into our home, it wouldn't have happened, and I feel so guilty and I loved that sweet cat so much and I just feel almost like I'm going a little crazy lately because I can't stop thinking about it. So I understand the pain.
I also understand your specific guilt. In 2012 I lost my beloved dog, and a month later I adopted another. I couldn't stand to not have a dog, but yes- seeing the new dog using my old dog's stuff was really hard. I actually took one toy away from her and wouldn't let her have it because it was his. I got her toys of her own. It took a while for me to bond with her because of that guilt, but it's been a year and 3 months now and I am glad I adopted her because we're super close now. I still miss my old dog, and think of him often, but the guilt is gone.
I guess my advice would be- don't beat yourself up for how you are grieving. If you feel guilty, acknowledge it...but also understand that you have saved another pet and that's important too. Don't be upset with yourself if it takes time to bond. The cat needs time to settle in anyway. Right now the most important thing is that the new cat is safe and has a place to live. Love can come in time.
I understand your pain. I lost a cat two weeks ago, and feel terrible about it because I was adopting a dog (that had been cat-tested and had already been in our home for 8 days incident free) and the dog all of a sudden killed my cat. I know that if I'd not brought the dog into our home, it wouldn't have happened, and I feel so guilty and I loved that sweet cat so much and I just feel almost like I'm going a little crazy lately because I can't stop thinking about it. So I understand the pain.
Oh no, that's awful! I'm so sorry that you lost your kitty to such tragic circumstances.
Thank you all for your support. It has really helped me the past couple weeks. I planted agapanthus for cinna in his favorite spot outside, and it really has helped to have something beautiful to tend to for him. Gimli is doing really well, and I am remembering more of the good times with cinna, and less guilt. I still miss him terribly, but it's getting better. Thank you all for being so supportive, it means a lot!
I'm so sorry that you lost your kitty to such tragic circumstances.
