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Old 06-01-2014, 03:55 PM   #16
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Again, thanks for all the replies and support.

He's been outside my house all day yesterday and today because he's still moving stuff out, but since I blocked him and told him I didn't want him calling or coming over, he hasn't tried getting in touch with me or (god forbid) knocking on my door.

I've ordered my pepper spray online, and I'm just going to wait it out until he's gone for good and hope I never see him again.
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Old 06-01-2014, 04:30 PM   #17
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I don't know that I would immediately label this as creepy. You gave him your number, he followed through by calling. Now that you've told him you aren't comfortable, I would see where he takes it. If he continues to contact you, that would be a problem.

Are you even sure the person helping him move was a partner or spouse? It could have been a sibling, cousin, friend, etc.

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I'm on a nonimmigrant visa, so I don't think I can legally get a firearm.
Please, no. Don't even go there. Take a self-defense course, karate, learn how to be stand up for yourself, but please, don't get a handgun. It isn't the answer to defending yourself.

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The answer to, "Do you have a boyfriend" is always YES if you're not interested in the person asking.
This. I used to wear a wedding ring at work and whilst traveling. If I were uninterested in dating, I would wear one as well.
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Old 06-01-2014, 06:19 PM   #18
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I don't know that I would immediately label this as creepy. You gave him your number, he followed through by calling. Now that you've told him you aren't comfortable, I would see where he takes it. If he continues to contact you, that would be a problem.
I wouldn't say that, if she felt creeped out she was creeped out. Women don't go around feeling creeped out because they want to, there was a sense of vulnerability there and it's ok for her to feel that.

OP, if you get a chance to read that article I found it really fascinating. There was a line that stood out to me. "When a man says no it's the end of the conversation. When a woman says no it's the beginning of a negotiation." It can be so true sometimes so always be careful.

I'm glad to hear he hasn't made contact since. I would still be creeped out knowing that he is around all day and I can imagine it's unnerving. Take whatever precautions you need until he does leave and let us know how it goes.
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:42 PM   #19
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I don't know that I would immediately label this as creepy. You gave him your number, he followed through by calling. Now that you've told him you aren't comfortable, I would see where he takes it. If he continues to contact you, that would be a problem.
I completely understand what you mean. I had posted in this forum because I wanted to be sure that I wasn't blowing it out of proportion.

Honestly, it wasn't the fact that he got in touch with me what I found creepy, it was the words he used in his messages.

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Are you even sure the person helping him move was a partner or spouse? It could have been a sibling, cousin, friend, etc.
No idea. Now that you mention it, it may have been anyone. I didn't even think of that.
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Old 06-02-2014, 12:34 AM   #20
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I wouldn't say that, if she felt creeped out she was creeped out. Women don't go around feeling creeped out because they want to, there was a sense of vulnerability there and it's ok for her to feel that.
I'm not commenting on feelings, I'm responding to the overwhelming number of comments labeling this creepy. No one disputes that she is entitled to feel how she feels.
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Old 06-03-2014, 12:13 PM   #21
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I'm with the Creepy Camp.

He could just be really socially awkward, but I'd be creeped out by the words he chose and the content of his messages.
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Old 06-03-2014, 08:52 PM   #22
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He's still sending messages, but I finally decided to (wo)man up and reply. I made it clear on no uncertain terms that I was not interested and wouldn't be replying to anything further (politely though). I really hope that's the end of it and I can leave my house without constantly looking over my shoulder.
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:37 PM   #23
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He's still sending messages, but I finally decided to (wo)man up and reply. I made it clear on no uncertain terms that I was not interested and wouldn't be replying to anything further (politely though). I really hope that's the end of it and I can leave my house without constantly looking over my shoulder.
Wow he is persistent! I hope he gets the message loud and clear this time!
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:46 PM   #24
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It's difficult because women are socialized so heavily to be polite and accommodating, but that's the kind of behavior that throws really mixed signals out. I'm not saying this is in any way your fault, ILV, but... giving your number signaled interest. Saying you were busy instead of "no, never" signaled interest, especially if the guy is not that socially bright. Anyway, I'm only replying because you noted you politely told him to stop texting. You've got to stop being polite about it, if you have any further interactions. (Hopefully you won't!)

I know it's hard (I struggle with this), but... try not to be so nice in the future. Thanks for keeping us updated - hope that's the last you hear of him.
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Old 06-04-2014, 04:24 AM   #25
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I just didn't want to piss him off by being rude
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Old 06-04-2014, 07:45 AM   #26
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I totally agree with Mars advice and i think you did the right thing by saying you were uncomfortable.

It might be worth while talking to either management or police in case this guy is known to them but its possible that since you gave him your number the first time he asked he thought you were open to whatever it is he thought would happen and that he's not actually a harmful person but mainly looking for opportunities.

If he appears not to have got the message the last time, in response to any future contact, tell him more emphatically that you do not wish to have any contact with him and that you gave him your number last time without thinking but regretted it.

I am sure i've given my number to people and thought later, what the **** did i do that for.
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Old 06-05-2014, 01:06 AM   #27
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Just to let you guys know, he finally sent a message saying ok (to not getting in touch with me again) and that he was there if I needed him.

Hopefully that's the end of it. If not, I now have a large can of pepper spray handy.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I've learned a couple of valuable lessons here.

At least I can't ever say my time here was boring
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