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Old 04-27-2014, 08:29 PM   #1
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Default Has your weightloss changed your sex life?

Sorry if this is TMI! I am just curious because I have only had one partner and I have only had sex while being overweight and I am wondering it will change along my journey.
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Old 04-27-2014, 09:54 PM   #2
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If you are insecure about yourself, you will feel more confident and probably enjoy it more when you lose some. And, depending on how you (eh hem)"fit together", you might have a little more contact between you as you slim down. Confidence is the sexiest thing sometimes, and there's nothing better than a confident partner!
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:16 AM   #3
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Not really. It's a little easier to move and we can be a bit more creative, but sex is more of a psychological thing for women than strictly physical, and what's going on between yours ears is more crucial to your enjoyment of it all than most of the actual act.

Making sure you're all squared away in terms of self image and confidence can also help you isolate whether other factors, like hormones or physical issues, might be causing a less than satisfying experience. Because, again, so much of it is mental. But when it isn't, it can be hard to tease out the specific factors involved unless you're very aware of your body and comfortable in your skin.
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Old 04-28-2014, 07:30 AM   #4
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I definately think so. Can actually wear schnazzy underwear etc and look relatively good as well as its easier to move around and "keep it going". Definately has changed for me thats sure.

I dream of the day that I can finally fill in the second eye on my daruma..
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:49 PM   #5
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It will be better. Trust me. YOu will feel more and feel prettier and everything.
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Old 04-29-2014, 04:23 AM   #6
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The sex life is one thing I'm looking forward to about losing weight. Right now both my husband and me are too fat for sex to be comfortable (sorry if that is too much info). I also want to be thinner because it will make me feel sexier and I would love to be thin enough to wear some cute underwear.
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Old 04-29-2014, 05:53 AM   #7
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its not just the look and the confidence, it is the actual fitness at that point too
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Old 04-29-2014, 10:40 AM   #8
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If only it were that easy

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Old 04-29-2014, 10:53 AM   #9
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For me, yes (obviously you are seeing a variety of answers in this thread). Certain positions are definitely more comfortable and easy to do physically -- and therefore more enjoyable to me (and I think also to my husband). And for me, cardio fitness definitely 'primes the pump' so to speak.
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Old 04-29-2014, 11:02 AM   #10
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Well, I can tell you the whole deal.

Our sex life was almost always mutually satisfying, but the frequency was always lacking. My husband just wasn't as turned on by a fat wife. Just like I wouldn't be attracted to a fat husband. There was that.

But it's more than just body fat - it's the other stuff that goes WITH the fat that made me less attractive - less energetic. More moody, etc.

Then, when I was losing and losing? It got better and better. We were having sex much more often as I was physically more attractive to my husband - despite my bat wings. Despite my saggy tummy. I was more energetic. I was more fun. I was less moody and I looked better in general.

HOWEVER, it was not good sex for me - either dieting, thyroid medicine or peri-menopause left me 'hanging' all the time. and I mean ALL. THE. TIME for two years.

Then I started gaining and sex got better for me - go figure. At first it didn't affect his desire, but after awhile.. it did. We haven't had sex for several months now and it is as much the physical side of it for DH as it is where I was emotionally (depressed). I wasn't a very nice person to be around.

And... I'm beginning to feel things warm up... as I'm feeling better.

Attraction is so much more than weight - it's all that goes with it.

But as far as the actual ACT of sex... thinner gives more freedoms, for sure.

Restart 5/18/15 began at 263.9. All time high was 275 in 7/03. Low in Summer 2012 of 169.
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Old 04-29-2014, 01:01 PM   #11
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For me personally, it does get better when you lose weight. One reason is that I like myself more. When I am overweight and lazy I have all these other thoughts going on, embarrassment, shame, and disappointment are some of them. Now that I am seeing improvements in my waistline and in my physical fitness I feel differently about myself and that makes a HUGE difference in many aspects of life.
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Old 04-29-2014, 01:11 PM   #12
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Yes and no. I notice us "fitting" better together and being able to move in different ways. But I still get just as distracted by life (I lose my sex drive entirely when I am stressed!). But when I'm not as stressed, my sex drive has gone up a smidge and I have more energy in general.

Started Jan. 2013 | Mini Goal 1: Onederland - Reached 5/20/14| Mini Goal 2: 179 (no longer obese) - Reached 2/13/15 | Mini Goal 3: 164 (15 pounds to goal) | Thank you, 5:2 and Intermittent Fasting!
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Old 04-29-2014, 01:15 PM   #13
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it's a bit more fun being sexier looking, and having the energy to do things in bed that i couldn't before, but the connection and intensity have always been pretty amazing.
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Old 05-02-2014, 03:24 PM   #14
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Not really, I think Im just not into sex anymore, I do find some men atractive and all but Im at a stage in my life where I dont want to keep taking all the crap that comes with a man xD Im still trying to get ride of the one I have hahaha

I dont feel the need or the urge to have sex, when it happens it's just 'meh' for me, sadly.
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Old 05-02-2014, 03:52 PM   #15
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Hmm...I was actually more confident when I was bigger and had a stronger sex drive and received more pleasure from sex then. The last 20lbs its really fallen and its bummed me out a lot. My partner has been with me these last 20lbs and has only become more attracted to me and therefore his sex drive/pleasure appears to have risen while mine has fallen.

Last edited by Dottington; 05-02-2014 at 03:53 PM.
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