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How has the opposite sex reacted to your weight loss?

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Old 04-12-2014, 12:43 AM   #1
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Default How has the opposite sex reacted to your weight loss?

Do you get different reactions from exes, random people on the street, and how do your husbands react?
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:11 AM   #2
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I'm SO excited to read responses to this thread (good idea!!) I've always wanted to change in a way that someone would totally not recognize me, but yeahh not happening anytime soon. It would be fun to read someone else's experience!
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Old 04-12-2014, 03:56 AM   #3
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My husband obviously must notice it but hes very much "meh", so I look otherwhere for inspiration.Men are men I suppose. I've never been very attractive in general, men don't tend to look in general tbf if they know you. unless you lose around 50-60 lbs relatively fast. I've lost the weight too steadily I suppose so it doesn't show that much. (30lbs is still a lot though)
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Old 04-12-2014, 06:25 AM   #4
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I've gotten more attention. But it's more subtle like men open doors for me and will smile at me and even say hello. I have even been catcalled once which as a feminist I hate but also kinda like.

I thought it was all in my head that these things happened before but because of my self-doubt I didn't notice but one of my other friends noticed it too.

I don't have a husband but an ex who I became friends with made a comment. He seemed irritated but I don't know what that's about. Our breakup was mutual and he never commented on my weight or anything. He was pretty nice to me but no spark. (I should note he initiated the break-up so I really don't get why he is being weird).
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:42 PM   #5
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I've gotten more attention. But it's more subtle like men open doors for me and will smile at me and even say hello. I have even been catcalled once which as a feminist I hate but also kinda like.

I thought it was all in my head that these things happened before but because of my self-doubt I didn't notice but one of my other friends noticed it too.

I don't have a husband but an ex who I became friends with made a comment. He seemed irritated but I don't know what that's about. Our breakup was mutual and he never commented on my weight or anything. He was pretty nice to me but no spark. (I should note he initiated the break-up so I really don't get why he is being weird).
Seems to me like somewhere deep down inside of him he might feel like, "Damn she's looking good! she did well for herself! I can't believe I missed out on this" he might still resent you to some extent for that but really its his loss and I wouldn't take him back! You deserve every one of those catcalls <3
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:43 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by hhm6 View Post
I'm SO excited to read responses to this thread (good idea!!) I've always wanted to change in a way that someone would totally not recognize me, but yeahh not happening anytime soon. It would be fun to read someone else's experience!
Oh my god I'm at your starting weight and 130 is my goal weight too girl! we'll be the 130 champs darling!
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Old 04-12-2014, 03:08 PM   #7
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Well, I'm 44. When I was fit and thinner (175 down to my low of 165) - about 28-26% body fat, I got a lot of second looks from men of ALL ages - young, old and inbetween. I don't dress "sexy". I dress to look nice, but age appropriate.

My husband? He was WAY more physically attracted to me and that is DESPITE the tons of loose skin I had. That didn't bug him at all - a healthy, fit, wife was a turn-on. Perfection was never something he cared about.

Now that I've regained? Well... it's very noticeable - I'm invisible again - to everyone - spouse included.

And it wasn't leering type of looking, but well, they noticed something nice to look at. People were friendlier, etc. People are judgmental about the overweight. Especially the obese.
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Old 04-12-2014, 10:17 PM   #8
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I've noticed that guys are friendlier, like opening a door for me or something....my DH has always found me attractive at any weight ...some guys who I've known but haven't seen in a long time didn't recognize me, which I found weird...and several guys thought I was the sister of my son instead of his mother, which I thought flattering and weird at the same time lol
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Old 04-13-2014, 06:20 AM   #9
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My wonderful husband has always treated me great, no matter what I've weighed. My all-time highest weight was 180.

Berryblondeboys used the word I've always used--"invisible." I would not get waited on in stores, doors not held open, etc. when at a higher weight. So unfair and so hurtful. Like I didn't exist. I really noticed a change in how people treated me when I lost forty pounds. That was the time I noticed I became visible again.
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Old 04-13-2014, 02:38 PM   #10
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I've experienced the not being recognized a lot actually. Its very weird, and I actually don't like it I've had a few guys hit on me who before had flat out turned me down and just didn't recognize me. I've had extended family members not recognize me either, like aunts and uncles I haven't seen in a while. All the attention I've gotten makes me feel like I must have been hideous before and desperately afraid of gaining any weight at all. Men's reactions have changed dramatically. Before I felt more invisible, but now I get a lot of attention. It can be scary at times. Also, before men seemed to pay less attention to me BUT when they did they actually wanted to get to know me and seemed interested in my thoughts, opinions, ect. Now though….most men treat me like I'm less intelligent.
In general though, men and women pay more attention to me and are nicer.
I'm not married, but my boyfriend has been with me the last 20lbs and he's become increasingly more attracted to me as I've lost weight.
My ex doesn't care, he actually thought my perfect size was around 170 so he thinks I'm too thin and unattractive now.
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:08 PM   #11
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Men I doubt would have paid much attention to me before now do. It's a little bothersome in that they wouldn't have looked at me twice before, but I try not to think about it too much. I've started working at a new school this year where no one knew my previous weight. I've found, from remarks from both female students and some of my coworkers, that I'm the new "hot teacher" in town. I had a coworker basically ask me out within the first week of school. I was shocked, and I really have no idea what to do with this attention. I have a bit of a hard time with it, especially when men aren't quit as um... respectively... admiring. Also, it's kind of creepy to have 15 year old boys attracted to you. When you teach, you want to feel like some androgynous education dispenser. I guess if it keeps my boys' focused through the treacherous language in Romeo and Juliet, it could be useful, but other than that, it is the furthest thing from what I want my students to think of me.

My fiance doesn't care either way. He met me when I was larger, and it didn't bother him then. I think he's happy that I feel better, but that's about it.

I've also had people that I have not seen in a long time not recognize me immediately. It usually takes them a few minutes. It's strange, because I don't feel like my face has changed that much.
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:25 PM   #12
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No major difference. Except people of both sexes sit next to me on the train now and - I suppose - smile more.
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Old 04-13-2014, 04:00 PM   #13
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I definitely get hit on more now than before. Men seem to smile more and I get approached more/asked out more than when I was bigger...

I've had old coworkers and distant relatives who haven't seen me in a while barely recognize me. Many people that knew me as a bigger girl think I'm too skinny and those that met me as under 150 think I look good...it's a little weird lol

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Old 04-13-2014, 04:18 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Dottington View Post
I've experienced the not being recognized a lot actually. Its very weird, and I actually don't like it I've had a few guys hit on me who before had flat out turned me down and just didn't recognize me. I've had extended family members not recognize me either, like aunts and uncles I haven't seen in a while. All the attention I've gotten makes me feel like I must have been hideous before and desperately afraid of gaining any weight at all. Men's reactions have changed dramatically. Before I felt more invisible, but now I get a lot of attention. It can be scary at times. Also, before men seemed to pay less attention to me BUT when they did they actually wanted to get to know me and seemed interested in my thoughts, opinions, ect. Now though….most men treat me like I'm less intelligent.
In general though, men and women pay more attention to me and are nicer.
I'm not married, but my boyfriend has been with me the last 20lbs and he's become increasingly more attracted to me as I've lost weight.
My ex doesn't care, he actually thought my perfect size was around 170 so he thinks I'm too thin and unattractive now.
See and that's what I'm afraid of. Yeah I'd like the attention, just not the wrong kind. I wish I could find a guy who actually cares about who I am as a person and not all just about my weight and looks... it's really depressing in that I couldn't find someone who would accept me for who I was physically originally but, I guess that's just fate.
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Old 04-15-2014, 01:43 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by LittleMissWarhead View Post
Oh my god I'm at your starting weight and 130 is my goal weight too girl! we'll be the 130 champs darling!
Yayyy!! I love when I find people with similar stats too! woot woot!

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Originally Posted by IanG View Post
No major difference. Except people of both sexes sit next to me on the train now and - I suppose - smile more.
LOL! This made me laugh!

I haven't noticed much attention from guys at all mostly because I'm working from home lately and limit my outgoings due to dieting, so I hardly see anyone my age (kinda depressing!) but it's interesting to read how things can change so quickly. It almost makes me a bit scared because I would start to wonder if this same person would date/talk to me if they knew me when I was bigger? Oyy!
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Starting measurements
8/23/12--->42-37-45 (200lbs)
10/4/12--->41-37-44 (190lbs)
4/09/13--->40-36-42 (180lbs)
5/18/13--->40-34-42 (170lbs)---then the holidays happened
3/01/14--->40-34-42 (170lbs)

Lowest recorded weight as an adult -->160!

Last edited by hhm6 : 04-15-2014 at 01:44 AM.
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