Correct which is why I'm not going back.

It is 2014, there's lots of single moms with tatts but I worked in medical 15 years up until last May and believe me when I say doctors judge. I can't tell you how many times a doc pulled me aside after an appointment to talk/joke about a person's weight, appearance, or how much of a "loser" or "scumbag" they are. I have worked in several offices and this happened at ALL of them. Highly, highly inappropriate comments.

I'm not entirely paranoid here.

If it makes you feel better, I'm completely monogamous, happily married for almost a decade, and have a gaggle of children. I STILL get asked if I need information or screenings for STDs and have to tell them every time that no, there's no possibility I have HPV, as I've had an extensive, wet mount pap done to eliminate that as ever being possible. So unless I cheat or he does, we're good.

It might feel like they're singling you out, but I'm believing more and more this is fairly standard practice. They always ask me about birth control, too, usually moments after we've had a discussion on the fact that I have moral compunctions about preventing pregnancy. It's on the list of questions they ask, no matter what I seem to say.

As a cash payer I'd be furious about being charged for a screening if I hadn't specifically opted into it, though. Like - I'd refuse to pay on the condition that they didn't inform me they were doing it and thus allow me to opt out.

It's not hard to believe. But people think crazy mean things all the time. They make judgements and we can't control that. I don't think you're paranoid, I just think you're letting it affect you to a degree that's making you terrorize yourself over it. You can't change stupid people, you can't be someone else so that stupid people will not judge you. And even if you didn't have tattoos, and were married and didn't have kids you'd still be judged for something or other. I think of you as a strong bad-*** person, this is one of those times where your internal middle finger needs to flip them off lol, who cares if you have a tattoo?

And off on a tangent for a moment, I find that when I'm making judgements it's because I have my own internal struggles with myself. The more judgy I am the more unhappy I am and vice versa. So really, people who are passing judgement on you and your life choices are just miserable boobheads.

I think there's another way of looking at it.

Ok the people at that practice don't have a good bedside manner and they seem to assume that everyone is covered with health insurance. So that's all wrong. Lazy probably. Just lazy doctoring/nursing.

But that doesn't mean one should think they are judging you. They probably treat everyone like that.

Still as others have said, if you didn't feel good about being there, you are better off finding a place where they treat you more sensitively.

Not so long ago i had to go to a breast clinic. I booked my appt with them and had a referral from gp. It was only when i was at the clinic that i found out that the test was going to cost me $300!. However i was one of the special cases and with a bit of quick admin work, they got the referral for bulk billing (which means free treatment) from my gp.

The thing is at this practices it the receptionists job to tell me on the phone when i booked that it would cost money. I think my gp should have told me. The only reason i found out ahead of the procedure was because they had a sign on the front desk and i had time to read it. Clearly it has happened numerous times before that patient hadn't been told about the cost involved and the need for a special instruction from the referring GP. If i had only found out after the procedure i would have had to pay the money. That would have been really shitty.

I have several doctors in my family and friends and they all say the same thing:

Most patients lie.

Now, I know you are not lying but a lot do. From what they eat to who they are having sex with to many partners they have had etc. Sometimes it isn't a lie per se sometimes it's the patient not wanting to be bother or they are scared so they downplay their issues. Then there is the opposite of the spectrum where they exaggerate every issue.

And because of the litigious nature of America towards doctors most are aggressive in trying to get the truth out of patients which sucks for those of us actually telling them the truth because it make US uncomfortable.

I also think it is rare to have a doctor with a good beside manner. My current doctor is an *** but I can tell that he cares. He sort of is like the Jillian Michaels of doctors! Haha

Of course they lie, and I'm sure they think I lie too. lol When I was quitting smoking he asked how many packs a day. I told him only 4-5 cigarettes per week which was 100% truth. He rolled his eyes and said NOBODY can smoke ONLY 4 cigarettes a week! and then proceeded to write in my chart. I hate to break it to him but I was able to have a few cigarettes and then not have any for months even with a pack in my possession. Not everyone is all or none.

Fact remains: He didn't listen to me as a patient.

The man I saw for 5 years is rude and the woman I saw only once that performed my HPV test the other day without my permission was in the wrong. There's no arguing that.

*washes hands of that place

BTW, I love tatts.

Novagel, Its obvious you are done with that doc. I was going to say, regardless of what happened, if you don't feel comfortable, its time to leave their practice. I did notice you said you regretted leaving your other gyn...do you mind if I ask why you left them?

Patients do lie A LOT! And healthcare professionals do judge! I think in that field of medicine we see some of the worst of the worst. But tattoos and single unmarried moms...don't even make the list! Someone posted something similar here a while back, about being judged for tats at the docs. I REALLY think a lot of this comes back to you believing you are being judged. Tattoos are so mainstream, its not like it was years ago. Heck one of the docs my DH works with has sleeves, but they are under his lab coat so you would never know it! I wonder how many patience accused him (in their minds) of judging their tats without knowing about that! lol
And do you think every doc and nurse is married with kids? Also doctors are in a profession known for infidelity, how many of them do you think sleep around?

If you don't feel comfortable you should absolutely leave, but you should really examine if this might partly be related to your own feelings. Only because you may find yourself going from doc to doc not feeling comfortable and finding something you don't like. If they really were just a crumby group then I'm sure you will find better care else where.

I guess I'm just not educated about this subject, but I thought that was the whole reason for a pap smear... For a doctor to see if there are any abnormal cells? If not, then what is it for?

I just had a baby in January and am married and when I went back for my six week they asked if I wanted tested for STDS. I guess that is routine but I was a little embarrassed too.
Also, I wish my doctor would test me for HPV. I have abnormal cervical cells and have to get a LEEP procedure. I asked about the type of HPV I had and they said just assume I have one that causes cervical cancer. I don't like to assume when it comes to cancer!

To check for cervical cancer. I guess now it's routine to check for HPV also but I wasn't told or asked for permission in advance.

I moved.

Thanks everyone...I think we've beaten a dead horse.

I always offer gonorrhea and chlamydia testing with paps. Also the new recommendations are for women over 30 to have HPV co-testing, as a negative pap and negative HPV test indicates that a woman can have a longer inter-pap period (3 to 5 years depending who you ask). They dropped the ball explaining all this to you and getting your consent for each test. It's possible to discuss these things without offending women.

Okay, I just assumed they had went hand in hand since HPV does cause cervical cancer. That is rather upsetting that you weren't asked to consent. I hope you find a better gyno soon.

The nurse did explain this to me after the fact. I was mad because I'm self-pay at the moment and the test is $200 but I will get over it. I did complain but didn't want to make a scene.

Even if I don't have HPV I'm not comfortable not having a pap for 5 years..after having it beaten into my head to have one every year since I was about 15 I keep thinking A LOT can happen to your body in 5 years when we're talking cancer. I was nervous about waiting the 3 years this time considering my last was 2011.

The HPV test for me was kind of pointless since I would never wait that long to have a pap anyway, and that's what I told the nurse. Oh well.

Well you are in charge ultimately. If it was me and i wanted to know , i would press the doctor. I would also ask for the hpv.