[shannylove]

I'm not sure if I am posting this in the right place! But I just wanted to get some advice/tips on how you all deal with self image and dating. I am currently a size 14 down from size 22. My biggest woe currently is my stomach. It makes me super self conscious and even though I am starting to feel more confident the more I lose, I am still so afraid of men judging my stomach and thinking I'm too fat to date. :/

I have a date tomorrow... and I know eventually I might be at the point where I want to be intimate with him. I feel like it hides well in clothing... but then if I'm not wearing much clothing in my mind I feel like he is going to immediately be repulsed and hate my body

help! do any of you ever deal with this? How do you start to feel more confident when your body isn't where you want it to be yet? I don't want to pause my life until I lose all the weight... I feel like I've held back enough. And I know people always say the right guy wont care... but how do you know that going into a new situation? I almost want to ask upfront if he cares that I have a fat stomach lol... O.O

[PatLib]

Honestly, most men don't care I have found. I get that isn't helpful when you are doubting yourself but it's true.

Does he actually know that you are losing weight? Does he know that it's a big part of your life? I would just ask him like you said. I have noticed that men can be pretty awesome despite what sitcoms tells us! I have admitted body issues to guy before and it was one of the most positive moment of my life. And if he doesn't act decent about it than at least you know before you got intimate with him! Good luck and I am sure he is a good guy!

[vealcalf2000]

I think you're getting ahead of yourself. This is a first date so you should be focusing on each other to see if your personalities even mesh. Please please please don't get ahead of yourself and start thinking about intimacies! LOL I'm not a prude I just think you're focusing on something that's further down the line.

Now for a practical answer. I wear a body shaper for ME! Not because I think others will find me more attractive but it helps hold my belly in, give me support, and control. If you get the right size they are quite comfortable. I don't have money for Spanx I just get the Walmart version. It's great for working out too! Holds everything in so you can focus better on your exercising.

Good luck on your date. Take it slow. Get to know each other. Honestly when someone truly cares weight is not an issue. The reality is that we all have imperfection in spite of what TV, magazine ads, etc. show us. Be confident and just focus on having a nice time!

[mascara blue]

I think its natural to think about intimacies, if you like someone because that's where you will be heading, if you are an adult, and don't have religous restrictions. I found spray tanning works really well. it wont hide everything but it does cover the whiteness and some of the pastiness. and if you feel more secure about yourself, then you'll feel more comfortable and at ease. Only thing is get it professionally done. You can ask them to darken some parts etc to give it a bit of definition. good luck!

[BettyBooty]

OP, if you weight 230 lbs and wear a size 14, how big can your stomach be? I am just about back into a 12 at 175, and am only a couple of inches shorter than you.