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What did your Exes think of your weight loss?

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Old 03-07-2014, 12:08 PM   #1
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Talking What did your Exes think of your weight loss?

Well I want to look good and be healthy, fit, and capable of getting into all the athletics I want, but something that has always fascinated me is the way that people respond to the transformation. I had a friend who I haven't seen in a year run into me at a grocery store and she was flabbergasted because I lost 54 pounds (not like I can tell myself) and I'm not going to lie, the outside validation rocks lol because my mind hasn't caught up with my body as of yet.

I had a "boyfriend" who made it seem like he "accepted" me when I was at my highest at 267, (let me just state: I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR HIM!) XD lol. but I am 19, so is he and let's just face it at this age there is a lot of superficiality when it comes to relationships. So he just ups and leaves me and lord behold a month later he sends a damn picture text of his naked skinny girlfriend on the random as if to rub it in my face!, proceeds to ask me "Are you mad?" I didn't react to it. Honestly yeah, it burned me but I was like "I'm happy for you! ) NOT! ... but anyways I do plan on sending him a picture of me as if to say **** you, that's just one of the small perks. It's an effect, not the cause people! I've been wanting to lose weight since I was in Kinnygarten lol.

But I'd love to hear all ya'lls experiences with encounters with exes, where it be boyfriends or friends
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Old 03-07-2014, 08:49 PM   #2
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He sent you a picture of his naked girlfriend?! I'm sorry but this guy has absolutely no class. I'm sure his gf wouldn't appreciate that either. I say good riddance to this guy, and you can definitely find someone much better.

I had a pretty serious boyfriend when I was in college, we were together for almost 5 years, I always felt like I would end up marrying the guy (just to give you an idea of how serious the relationship was ) but something that really bothered me was how his family would comment on my weight (harsh stuff not the let me take you aside and genuinely say something). I remember at party in front of so many people they would pat my hair and tell me "...20 lbs lighter you could look so much better in that dress" Really hurtful stuff and he would tell me they're "looking out for me" such BS! So I know what it feels like!

We ended up breaking up later due to this and other issues, but his family has this opinion of me that I can't really accomplish anything I start, which bothers me because I think I'm pretty driven person, but then again I don't have to prove any of that to them. I'm going to see them at a wedding soon, and I would like to be thinner so they could just keep quiet and I could have a fun night(they can be such debbie downers!) ! I haven't seen him since we broke up and I don't think I ever will. I don't want to have the "shove-it-in-your-face-attitude" with them but sometimes you can tell when people are trying to be hurtful rather than helpful. They aren't very nice people in general lol, but anyway, sorry for the novel!

As long as you're doing it for your health and your well being, that's all that matters! (and 54lbs?! Girl, that is amazing! go you! )

Just wanted to say, instead of sending him a picture, I bet just running into him when he isn't expecting it would really surprise him! I have gotten compliments from many people even when I haven't lost much and I agree it feels great!
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Old 03-08-2014, 01:26 PM   #3
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Agree with hhm6 -- he sent you a picture of his naked girlfriend?!?! That is so, so inappropriate. I probably wouldn't send him a picture (although I know the temptation is there! Been there before) because it sounds like this guy has very little respect for things like 'privacy.'

If my brother did something like that, he would have gotten a good long lecture from me.
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:19 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Quiet Ballerina View Post
Agree with hhm6 -- he sent you a picture of his naked girlfriend?!?! That is so, so inappropriate. I probably wouldn't send him a picture (although I know the temptation is there! Been there before) because it sounds like this guy has very little respect for things like 'privacy.'

If my brother did something like that, he would have gotten a good long lecture from me.
I totally have the temptation! LMAO and get this: I was like "Don't you think your girlfriend would be bothered by this?" He's like, "Oh no, she doesn't mind"...then again she probably didn't mind because she got pregnant by another guy she cheated with XD
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:25 PM   #5
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He sent you a picture of his naked girlfriend?! I'm sorry but this guy has absolutely no class. I'm sure his gf wouldn't appreciate that either. I say good riddance to this guy, and you can definitely find someone much better.

I had a pretty serious boyfriend when I was in college, we were together for almost 5 years, I always felt like I would end up marrying the guy (just to give you an idea of how serious the relationship was ) but something that really bothered me was how his family would comment on my weight (harsh stuff not the let me take you aside and genuinely say something). I remember at party in front of so many people they would pat my hair and tell me "...20 lbs lighter you could look so much better in that dress" Really hurtful stuff and he would tell me they're "looking out for me" such BS! So I know what it feels like!

We ended up breaking up later due to this and other issues, but his family has this opinion of me that I can't really accomplish anything I start, which bothers me because I think I'm pretty driven person, but then again I don't have to prove any of that to them. I'm going to see them at a wedding soon, and I would like to be thinner so they could just keep quiet and I could have a fun night(they can be such debbie downers!) ! I haven't seen him since we broke up and I don't think I ever will. I don't want to have the "shove-it-in-your-face-attitude" with them but sometimes you can tell when people are trying to be hurtful rather than helpful. They aren't very nice people in general lol, but anyway, sorry for the novel!

As long as you're doing it for your health and your well being, that's all that matters! (and 54lbs?! Girl, that is amazing! go you! )

Just wanted to say, instead of sending him a picture, I bet just running into him when he isn't expecting it would really surprise him! I have gotten compliments from many people even when I haven't lost much and I agree it feels great!
I love hearing come out on top stories like this, I'm not going to lie here I can be a very vindictive person but like with my weight loss right now I'm actually feeling very humble about it and I made a promise to myself that I would treat people AMAZINGLY after all is said and done because I don't want this to change me for the worst, but at the same time when you had some dirt kicked on your pride I think its human nature to want to be like "I made it! How do you like me now!" but yeah I'm definitely doing this for my health because I was at risk for Type 2 Diabetes and I had symptoms of PCOS all starting at the age of 17, I'm 19 right now and I reversed all my potential health scares so I mean, it's literally changing my life! and I'm glad I have someone to sympathize with! and thank you, those 54 pounds are worth it all.
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:27 PM   #6
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If you send him a picture of your thin self, he wins. You'll only be proving to him that you still care what he thinks and that you've been thinking of him all this time which is exactly what he wanted to accomplish in sending the pic. He may not even have a gf, and the photo he sent could be some random internet pic.

Revenge fantasies can be fun, but in my experience, the reality is generally disappointing. At best you get a watered down, weak version of whatever you were hoping for, and at worst you get no reaction at all.

Just as you did, he'll probably say "Good for you," or nothing at all, and you'll never know if it really bothered him at all.

And say he actually is impressed and crushed at losing you and say he decides he wants you back.

Are you prepared to have a crazy stalker in your life?

What if he finds the photo funny or hurtful and he forwards your revenge photo to everyone he knows, or posts it online?

What if he makes nasty comments about the new photo, saying you look just as fat or that you looked better fat, or some equally horrid comment?

A guy who would send a provocotive photo of his alleged "new" partner to his ex is a jerk, an idiot a pathetic loser, and possibly a sociopath. He is not the kind of guy who is likely to feel any true regret or remorse. Even if he decides he wants you back, he'll never see that his actions were wrong, because guys like this always think others are at fault. And do you really want him sending your photo to hurt other women?


The best revenge really is not needing or wanting revenge, because you're too busy doing what you want to do, to worrying about what some pathetic loser thinks.
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:44 PM   #7
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I agree completely with Kaplods; I think you should take the high road and have absolutely no contact at all with this jerk.
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Old 03-08-2014, 04:20 PM   #8
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If you send him a picture of your thin self, he wins. You'll only be proving to him that you still care what he thinks and that you've been thinking of him all this time which is exactly what he wanted to accomplish in sending the pic. He may not even have a gf, and the photo he sent could be some random internet pic.

Revenge fantasies can be fun, but in my experience, the reality is generally disappointing. At best you get a watered down, weak version of whatever you were hoping for, and at worst you get no reaction at all.

Just as you did, he'll probably say "Good for you," or nothing at all, and you'll never know if it really bothered him at all.

And say he actually is impressed and crushed at losing you and say he decides he wants you back.

Are you prepared to have a crazy stalker in your life?

What if he finds the photo funny or hurtful and he forwards your revenge photo to everyone he knows, or posts it online?

What if he makes nasty comments about the new photo, saying you look just as fat or that you looked better fat, or some equally horrid comment?

A guy who would send a provocotive photo of his alleged "new" partner to his ex is a jerk, an idiot a pathetic loser, and possibly a sociopath. He is not the kind of guy who is likely to feel any true regret or remorse. Even if he decides he wants you back, he'll never see that his actions were wrong, because guys like this always think others are at fault. And do you really want him sending your photo to hurt other women?


The best revenge really is not needing or wanting revenge, because you're too busy doing what you want to do, to worrying about what some pathetic loser thinks.


You make great points that I didn't even think about! But still I want to have an "accidental" run in with him and make it look like I didn't notice him LOL
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Old 03-09-2014, 02:46 PM   #9
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I love getting validation from people who I haven't seen in a long time...my mom's the best at that anytime I email her a pic of me, she always responds and says "you're getting so skinny!!" and she genuinely means that lol.....I don't have any ex's or friends that I've ever wanted to go back and let them see me....I only have 2 ex's and I don't give a cr*p about what either of them think of me physically....one ex I get along with really well and used to be married to, my son's father, but I've never felt the need to let him see me "skinny" lol or at least skinnier
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Old 03-09-2014, 05:25 PM   #10
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You make great points that I didn't even think about! But still I want to have an "accidental" run in with him and make it look like I didn't notice him LOL

Just be sure to be ready for all possible responses from him, should this ever happen, by true accident, or accidentally on purpose.

Are you prepared for example, for him to not notice you not noticing him? Or if he recognizes you but doesn't notice (or pretends not to notice) your weight loss?

Personally, from what you described, I wouldn't want to ever see this guy ever again, for any reason, because I could easily see him saying something hurtful like:

"You lost weight? I don't see it."

"You were prettier fat."

"My new girlfriend is still thinner and prettier than you."


And even more likely, he'll have little or no reaction at all and won't even notice you not noticing him.

He's already jealous and insecure or he wouldn't have tried to make you jealous by sending you a picture of his "hot girlfriend."

How much more do you really gain by rubbing his nose in it? Especially since he's unlikely to respond in any way that you'll find truly satisfying.

It's possible he may respond in a way you find satisfying, but it's extremely unlikely, and it's quite likely he'll respond in a way that makes you feel even worse about yourself, because as an ex, he'll likely remember how to push your buttons.

You'll know you have healed from the relationship when you honestly couldn't care less what he'd think of you with or without weight loss.
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Old 03-10-2014, 10:24 PM   #11
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It's a CERTAINTY that I will get lose this weight. I am prepared for anything really but honestly even if I don't get the reaction that I wanted I still get left with the body that I've always wanted so in the end I got what I want and that means more than anything he could have said to me lol like I said he's not the cause of all of this.
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Old 03-10-2014, 10:25 PM   #12
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Maybe I'm not over this guy and feel that I need some amount of validation from him which is something I need to work on.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:09 PM   #13
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Maybe I'm not over this guy and feel that I need some amount of validation from him which is something I need to work on.
That sounds pretty correct.

This guy sounds like a top competitor in the loser olympics. Rather than worrying about arranging an accidental meeting, I would focus on forgetting he exists. No man would do such a thing as sending a naked photo of a new gf to the old gf. Gross.

ETA: Kaplods is so right too. Chances are that even if you lose all the weight and look FANTASTIC this guy will find a way to cut you down. He clearly has no class and I can't see him wanting to be "defeated" by your weight loss. My guess is that he'd say something like "You're still not pretty" or "Now you're saggy" or some other gross comment that guys like this tend to favor.
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Old 03-14-2014, 02:13 PM   #14
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Definitely! That's my goal now...forget about him. Knowing him he would most likely act unphased but thats cause hes an ***. Learned a great lesson though; Never rely on a guy for your self worth.
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