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Pity Party, really love my new body but hate

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Old 02-20-2014, 08:29 PM   #1
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Default Pity Party, really love my new body but hate

The way it made my face so gaunt. The cheekbones look great but everything else looks like crap. I think i'd have to gain at least 15 lbs to fill out a bit and just don't think i want to do that.

Funny, i was SO looking forward to a new face once this weight was off, it's been over a year and i'm still not really used to it
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:46 PM   #2
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I empathize; I'm not particularly happy with my face either : / My face looks cheery when I smile because it makes my cheeks round out, but when I'm not smiling, I look a bit gaunt/hollow under the cheekbones which I find crazy since I weigh almost 190 lbs! I am almost 50 years old and it's clear that I don't have the collagen of my youth. I'm still 15 lbs away from my goal weight - wonder what my face will look like then : / I don't know how old you are, but at more mature ages, it can definitely take a looooong time to glean whatever skin tightness you can get. In my case, I'm hoping for some improvement in tightness around my jawline, but I do not think my face will de-gaunt itself at all

I am doing a few things to help me cope with my new face:

One is, I compare my driver's license photo taken over a year ago to my current face. Sometimes in my head I pine for the days when I was morbidly obese and, as a result, had a wrinkle-free face. However, when I force myself to look at an actual photo of when I was at my max weight, yes, I didn't have wrinkles or facial sagging, but my oh my, I looked so much worse! So unhealthy, so much obesity in my face, cheeks, and neck. I didn't have a jawline! Objectively speaking, I look ten times better now, even with wrinkles, gauntness, and a bit of sagging.

The other thing I am doing is changing how I wear my makeup. You can probably tell from my avatar that I wear a lot of makeup (I love to.) When I was very obese, I would use blush to contour a faux cheekbone because I didn't have any. If I do that now, it totally accentuates my gauntness, gah! I changed it up and now I use blush to highlight the front of my cheeks on either side of my nose - like apple cheeks. It helps to give the illusion of a rounded face. Even if you personally prefer a natural look, there are subtle blush colors out there that might work for you

Also, I'm wearing my hair slightly wavy as opposed to my usual flat iron look. In my case, I feel it softens my overall look and looks less severe.
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:40 PM   #3
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TooWicky if that avatar is you right now i have to say and not lying, i think you look great, better than i do. I am around 51 and yea, weight loss has not been kind to my face at all. i LOVE the upper contours of my face but below the cheekbones there's, like...no fat at all and now i have super NL folds
Under harsh flourescent or store lighting i look GAUNT.

i too ADORE makeup and am doing the EXACT SAME thing that you are, LOL, no need to contour anymore, that is for sure!!

20 lbs unfortunately can make a huge difference but you should do what you want to do. Apologies in advance to 3FC's i'm sure they're sick of me crying about this.


BEFORE:

20LBS TO GOAL:

NOW



And a GOTH look for you EPIC FAIL, i know. it was just for fun



You don't have to say anything complimentary, please! it's a drastic change and it didn't help the fact that others have told me i look sick, stop losing weight, etc.! i suppose after a year i should have stopped lamenting about it
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:53 PM   #4
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Sweetie, my first reaction to your photos was "is she a real person?" Because you're so gorgeous! You look different, but great. You have sharp cheekbones in a good way and your NL folds are barely noticeable.

Repeat to yourself "I look great. I look great. I look great!"
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:58 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Dance Girl View Post
Sweetie, my first reaction to your photos was "is she a real person?" Because you're so gorgeous! You look different, but great. You have sharp cheekbones in a good way and your NL folds are barely noticeable.

Repeat to yourself "I look great. I look great. I look great!"
Wow thank you Just Dance Girl, that's such a nice thing to say. I think it didn't help at all that people that i know have commented and one burst out saying right in front of others that i look sick. Also under lighting, i really do look shockingly gaunt but yes, you're right, i need to just forget about myself and tell myself i'm pretty no matter what. i've managed but every once in awhile i start up the lament, aging doesn't help either. It does help though to hear from others that FEEL the same way i do
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Old 02-21-2014, 12:47 AM   #6
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Your photos are gorgeous!! You have this amazing jawline and don't look anywhere near as old as you say you are! And you don't look gaunt either, I'm just not seeing it
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Old 02-21-2014, 12:56 AM   #7
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ReillyJ, I think I have seen your progress photos on a previous thread and you look amazing, congratulations!!

Hilarious that you are doing the blush thing as well Something else I'm doing is that I normally wear strong lip colors but I'm switching to more nude shades to draw less attention to the lower half of my face, lol, desperate times! In my avatar I had to dress up as a fortune teller for a work party - my (female) boss said for me to "put on a lot of makeup" and we both burst out laughing, I mean, I'm already at maximum makeup anyway, there is nowhere else to go. Psht your goth look rocks, lol, I use eyeliner for days every day. I'm a one woman army trying to bring back the 80s, except for the mall bangs.

Now, on the note of face changes, girl, we aren't twins or anything, but I am dealing with similar issues. I, too, have a strong jawline that is being accentuated with the weight loss. My chin is really pointy and sticks out so much farther than yours, gah! My face leaning out really isn't helping camo my chin situation, lol. My face when I'm not smiling looks square-jawed and lean in the cheeks. It's a harsher look than what I want. I have the nasal-labial folds going on, except I have glorious wrinkle lines in the middle of them that extend past the corners of my mouth -.- I do look so much better than when I was morbidly obese, but the thing is, I have a really different face now. I would prefer a softer and rounder shaped face, which, to me, harkens back to youth and youthfulness. I kinda liked my face when I was 15-20 lbs heavier than I am now, but that was when I was Obese BMI so for health reasons, it's out of the question for me to contemplate regaining weight. I had heard the saying, "After 40, a woman has to choose between her arse and her face" before, but for the first time, I understand it! It blows. All along my weight journey I have alternated whatever is really bothering me, and right now, it's some looseness in my neck skin that makes me want to barf, lol. I am so envious of the ladies on here that don't worry about such things - I def draw support from their great attitudes!

Thank you for the compliment about my current look (the avatar was from a couple of weeks ago.) I'm waaaay heavier than you at the moment, though. My goal weight is in the overweight BMI range. I'm not going for a normal weight - trying to look decently-sized and healthy and not too lean in the face. That's my plan anyway. I have about 15 more pounds to lose. I've intentionally slowed down my weight loss so I can assess this final bit of weight loss as I go, and adjust accordingly. I only just now got into a size 14 jean. It would be nice to be solidly in 12s at least when all this is said and done. Utlimately, per my goal weight, I am settling for being overweight and slightly chunky around the middle, which is certainly not for everyone.

You look incredibly striking, easily 15 years younger than your age. Your face looks very different from 20 lbs heavier, wow! You look so healthy and fit, I hope you start loving your "new" face! It's best to look for your physical reflection in people that didn't know you when you were obese... that will tell you if you truly look "sick." The new people at my work think I look totally normal, but a few of my long time co-workers feel that I look bad and too thin (at 190 lbs wut!!) It's painful to hear people blurt out concerns like that, but I try to remember that even I have trouble adjusting to myself (like my worries about my face changes.)
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:07 AM   #8
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Thank you Alaskanlaughter! It really is there especially under harsh lights, i am shocked even NOW when i see myself, shocked!

Too Wicky, you really are elegant in your words, i love them. You know, i would gain 10lbs or so if it didn't GO TO MY STOMACH! i still have a bit of a tummy left and most definitely have saggy loose skin on my stomach which only makes me look like i have a stomach--most of it is loose skin and not fat but it definitely shows. If it wasn't for that i'd probably gain but i do love my new body, just the changes in my face STILL surprise and shock me and yes i'd prefer a bit more roundness and softness around the NL folds and in the hollows of the cheekbones but i guess that's the way it's going to be

I HAVE thought of what people might think of me that never saw me overweight..nobody says anything, it's people who saw me on the journey who say bad things

This should be the last time i make a post on this because i really just NEED to fully accept it or .... ignore it.
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:18 AM   #9
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Well I think you looked pretty when overweight and beautiful now but i can see what you mean and its due to your skin losing elasticity.

Did you say you are 51 yo. Then that is part of it.

I think you've got two solutions.
1. a "mini" facelift which is for the lower face but maybe even they can just do around your eyes. I don't know but if you like this idea, see a plastic surgeon not a cosmetic surgeon.
2. collagen treatment.

Personally i'd rather go for the former because i think in the long run its cheaper. But things have changed, I understand with collagen and i'm told that instead of a booster needed 3 months, you can go as long as 9 months. But you'd need quite a lot in your upper cheek area i think.

PS. I used to work in a cosmetic clinic but it was a long time ago.

So if you really want do some thing about this, then its going to cost you money. I think you look really beautiful now and personally if i had your problems, i wouldn't mind at all.

Also most lighting is not as bad as the lighting you are checking yourself out in. Direct overhead bright lighting does put shadows in the wrong places. Bathrooms are the worst.
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Old 02-21-2014, 02:31 AM   #10
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I'm with Pattience on this--if I had your problems, I wouldn't mind at all.

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Old 02-21-2014, 07:56 AM   #11
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You are gorgeous - you really resemble Michelle Pfeiffer!
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:27 AM   #12
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Girl you look fantastic in every picture. =D And as Pattience said- a mini facelift could help out.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:51 AM   #13
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Hugs

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it!
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:15 AM   #14
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A bunch of women 10 years younger than you want to hit you right now.

If you want to get your puffy face back (not sure why but it's your face) you might want to try creatine. Some women take it specifically to bloat their gaunt face. It will cause you to gain water weight but it is very safe and when you stop using it the effects go away.
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:15 AM   #15
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You look wonderful. But because you obviously always been attractive you are likely less accepting of minor issues.

I am in my mid 60s and one thing every woman becomes aware of is as you get older is that you will eventually have to make a choice between your face and a lean body.

If I knew at 50 what I know now I would use collagen and likely coconut oil directly on the skin.
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