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Dear new girl at the gym...

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Old 02-06-2014, 11:25 AM   #16
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My experience at the gym was not good. I always go to workout with a positive spirit; I don't judge or pay any attention to anyone else. I mind my own business. I wanted to be left alone in peace to complete my workout.

However, the staff at the gym CONSTANTLY made comments about my weight. One trainer was trying to get me to sign up for special workout sessions. (Of course, to make more money). Another trainer gave me a lecture about the importance of exercise after I missed a couple of days due to illness. While in a large yoga class, the instructor looked at me and, in front of the entire class said "if you are obese, this is how to modify the pose". They made me so upset and uncomfortable, that I started telling them to stop. When the comments continued, I complained to management. I told them that I am fully aware of my weight problem and I don't need to be lectured like a child. Nothing changed, so I changed gyms.

I absolutely agree with everyone that says not to care what others think. I just don't want to be harassed while I am trying to do something positive for myself.
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Old 02-06-2014, 11:49 AM   #17
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That's f#@ked up, doingmybest. Those trainers were doing everything possible to drive business away.
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Old 02-06-2014, 12:05 PM   #18
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Thanks, krampus! I completely agree. Not just rude, but very bad for business.
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Old 02-06-2014, 08:36 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by TheSecondHalf View Post
I guess I can honestly say that until I came here and starting seeing the comments on what other people ate and bought, it never occurred to me that anyone would care what anyone else was buying at the grocery store. The only time I'm checking out someone else's cart is if I'm about to get behind them in line - and I'm looking for quantity, not quality ;-)
I know, right? Who has the mental energy to care what other people are doing? I have enough to worry about without giving a flip over whether someone is looking at me or my belongings and purchases. I try to think thoughts about people that I wouldn't be ashamed to say to them out loud, if and when I catch myself noticing things, but by and large my brain is too full to spend much time looking around
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Old 02-06-2014, 09:15 PM   #20
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I have to say sometime I understand peoples judgements when they see someone who is very over weight. I am sure we have all assumed something about someone at first glance from time to time, but REALLY .... REALLY? you are going to bust on a girl who is doing what she can to be healthy and you think making her feel bad about it is going to what?? Motivate her? I would love to know what gym this is so I can tell every one I know to never go there call the news and do a story or something just to expose these Aholes for what they really are! I am so sorry you had to deal with this! Don't that these FERS slow you down YOU GOT THIS!
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Old 02-06-2014, 10:13 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
Who knows, maybe they come at a different time of day than when I'm there but usually when I see an overweight woman I usually think to myself "how long will she be coming here, will she be here tomorrow?"
Thanks for your honesty. I have to say that seems pretty judgey because that's exactly what I HOPE people aren't thinking at the gym. That bothers me more than thinking that people are looking at my huge spare tire. But I do have some of the same thoughts as underanalysis because, yes, I do look around comparing myself to others (I have yet to see someone with a bigger spare tire than me and that's no joke) or to see how everyone dresses here (we just joined) but mostly comparing myself to them in terms of keeping up (in classes, not on the treadmill. I could care less about that).

But I would never think, Oh, I'll never see that person again. No, I'm more thinking, Crap, there's people here. I wanted the place to myself.

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Old 02-07-2014, 11:53 AM   #22
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We all think what we think. I don't do it in a negative manner, I certainly don't wish that I don't see them tomorrow. I think it has more to do with the expression on their face, somehow it's easy to read when someone is working out because they're unhappy. Of I see someone who is working out because they're forcing themselves to or punishing themselves with a workout then yes, those are the people that don't stick around. I work out whether it helps me lose weight or not. I do it for fitness and the people who stick it out usually do so because they find an appreciation for it, it gives them happiness.
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Old 02-07-2014, 12:50 PM   #23
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I'm at a university. So I don't really judge people based on fitness. I don't care what shape you are in, and I've found the gym very unintimidating. However, I will admit to judging the girls who come in whining about working off the beers they had that weekend. I judge them for their drinking not their fitness. Because I just think it would be simpler to cut out the nasty-for-you alcohol.

If you hate the gym so much, don't do things that make you feel obligated to go :*/, but that may just be me.

So yeah, dear gym newbies, old returnees, and every person in America. Get yo *** in here.
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Old 02-07-2014, 02:06 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by grinchygirl View Post
IHowever, I will admit to judging the girls who come in whining about working off the beers they had that weekend. I judge them for their drinking not their fitness. Because I just think it would be simpler to cut out the nasty-for-you alcohol.

If you hate the gym so much, don't do things that make you feel obligated to go :*/, but that may just be me.
Well. Then you'd certainly judge the fact that I sometimes shout RED WINE RED WINE RED WINE!!!!! during the final few minutes of my 5k on the treadmill, which is fortunately located in my home so as not to completely freak out all other human beings. A good hard run always makes me feel like I can squeeze in a glass of wine, and I admit that some of my running is aimed at mitigating my cocktail habit.
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Old 02-07-2014, 03:04 PM   #25
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I judge people. All the time.



For all sorts of things. Not always good, admittedly. They are my thoughts, in my head and they do no harm to anyone else inside there.

I like to people watch. I enjoy eavesdropping. Sometimes I like to pretend I can figure people out like Sherlock does

I love to check out other people shopping carts. You can tell a lot about a person by what they put in their cart. I don't go around looking for people with carts laden with junk, nor seek out those only stocking up with veggies and good stuff. I observe the things that people are doing around me, and then think about it. To me, it is interesting. Perhaps I don't have enough going on in my own life that I have this free time to observe the world around me!

At the gym, I like to watch for regulars so I can smile and nod to them. I see the girls who come in pairs who, as far as I can tell, have only come to visit with each other. I judge them. I think to myself, "Come on girls, if your going to make the effort to go to the gym, make some effort in the gym! get your sweat on ladies!!!". Or sometimes I will see some really large folks and think to myself "Boy, I'm sure glad I started now". Sometimes I look for someone similarly sized to myself, and race them in my mind. (I almost always win too!)
I see the super fit guys and girls and think to myself. "Damn, they have got their sh!t together! jealous!" or " damn, I gotta watch how they do that _insert crazy workout move here__" Often I just lust for their cute workout clothes

Anyway - the original post is a nice thought, but is far from realistic IMO.

What the new girl at the gym really needs to know is:
  • EVERYONE feels awkward their first few times at the gym, this will pass so just get over it!
  • The things that you can do, are not going to be the same as the things other people can do. Until you learn how to do them.
  • Hold your head up and be proud that you are there in the first place. Staring at your shoes, the floor, or your phone constantly isn't helping anything
  • Sweat like you mean it! Sweat is just fat crying right?
  • Find yourself worrying about the people around you and what they may be thinking? F-em! Focus on yourself, the reason you are there and get you @ss in gear!
  • Clean up your sweat!
  • AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - It doesn't matter what other people think of you - if you make the choice to make positive changes for yourself, that is all that matters!
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Old 02-07-2014, 03:47 PM   #26
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@Silverfire, will you be my new best friend?

I made my own saying. Or maybe someone said it before but I don't, I think I made it up. It goes "I don't compare myself to others anymore because nobody compares to me"
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Old 02-11-2014, 04:16 PM   #27
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Wow - reading all these comments makes me even happier that I don't go to a public gym! It is sad that there is no tolerance. You don't know me, you don't know if i am unhappy or not - you don't know what I have illnesses that I am combating while trying to get healthy. I might be looking unhappy because my fiance just passed away - and exercise helps fight the depression, but I am not going to be f'ing giggling while I do it.

Worry about your own backyard before you start looking at and judging your neighbors.

This post reminds me that I am much happier going to a physical rehab facility where everyone encourages each other, even if it is just one sit up or managing to get across the room without help or doing a full 30 minutes.
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Old 02-11-2014, 05:16 PM   #28
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I'm too busy judging myself in the mirror as I'm working out. And hopefully I'm too busy rocking out to my headphones and making sure I'm in my target HR to judge people because that makes the cardio go by.

I am not really worried about being judged in the free weights, but I'm still intimidated because I feel the same way whether anyone's there or not. So I'm gonna get with a trainer just to make sure I know how to use and do everything so I can walk up whether anyone's there or not.
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Old 02-11-2014, 05:47 PM   #29
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Yeah, I never looked at another person's grocery cart until I heard about it here. Now, I don't look, but I'm paranoid about being the fat chick seen with anything unhealthy in my cart. I had a panic attack over buying seafood dip. Seriously.

The gym in our leisure center (where I swim, and where I could work out on the same pass as often as I want) is all glass windows, so anyone going to the library, the art council office, the pool etc, can see in. I just cannot bring myself to do it. I know mentally that most people are in their own sphere - my mom always said "you'd be surprised how little time others spend thinking about you", but it's a personal shame thing. I FEEL like I'm being watched. It's something I have to work on.

For some reason I have no problem swimming, and I go to lane swim at the same time as my roommate's co worker. He made the comment to my roomie that he sees me all the time and that he couldn't believe how much I'd lost. Not the "man, she's the worst swimmer I've ever seen" that I was expecting.

Again, I think we judge ourselves more than anyone else judges us.

Doingmybest What you described - shaming by staff - is a huge issue in both the beauty and the fitness industries. It's designed to guilt people into spending money ("man you have bushy eyebrows" when you go for a hair cut etc), and it's not okay by any stretch. Definitely vote with your dollar and leave!
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Old 02-11-2014, 06:50 PM   #30
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i've judged the bros who curl all the time and never squat. just being honest.

of course, they judge me bc FATZ!!!

every time i see a woman lifting, i get stupid excited. and wish i could go talk to them.

judging happens. not necessarily how you would think.

and someone upthread talked about bodybuilder gym vs planet fitness. i totally agree with you. i have found people who are serious about their workouts are the ones who just arent giving anyone any crap. and the mfing lunk alarms. UGH. i hope an angel drops some money on you, so you can get out of planet fitness!
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