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Labeling women "crazy"

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Old 11-14-2013, 09:31 AM   #1
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Default Labeling women "crazy"

If anyone has ever been in an argument with a man and he's thrown out the C-word, this article is for you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harris...b_4259779.html
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Old 11-14-2013, 12:03 PM   #2
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Every single time I've been called "crazy" it was after I accused someone of cheating, which I was always right about in the end. It's a huge waving red flag that they are lying when they go on the defense and accuse you of being delusional. Never fails.
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Old 11-15-2013, 03:55 PM   #3
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*Nod* My DH used to call me "crazy", "hysterical", "insane" and other words like that when we would fight. I told him that it was unacceptable because he's effectively saying that whatever I'm upset about has no merit and it's insulting.
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:17 PM   #4
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I've been with my hubby for over 20 years, and yes, a few times he called me crazy...usually around TOM.
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:26 PM   #5
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If my man ever called me crazy I would prove his point right there! lmao! Great article. I have had this happen to me a few times, being dismissed as emotional or more commonly the "over-thinking" piece. Let's just let women be themselves already!
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:27 PM   #6
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Fit mom I'm stealing your quote haha!
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 11-15-2013, 04:54 PM   #7
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Sorry, every female I've called crazy has been, quite literally, out of control and displaying borderline symptoms. "Hysterical" is definitely a term with sexist roots, and yet there is validity and truth in stereotyping. In some cases it may be more accurate to say a female is approaching a situation with assumptions in place and responding with accusations and emotionally uncontrolled outbursts, rather than actual insanity. But I've seen some truly bizarre displays from adult and teenaged women that I would, in no way class, as sane or rational in their base. They are, to use the colloquialism, acting crazy. And yes, some are actually crazy.

I figure a better response to such things is to pause and ask myself if there is any truth there, before knee jerk assuming someone is just being sexist, mean, or trying to shut down argument. Sometimes they really are doing that - and sometimes I need to exercise a great degree more control and logic, and a great deal less lability.

I think self insight must be paired with the author's own check on his assumptions - too many women use their sex as an excuse to behave in appalling ways. Men, too, though it typically looks different.
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Old 11-15-2013, 05:29 PM   #8
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I think this is something that exists, but i just dont give a sh!t...I'm sure there's a long line of people that think I'm crazy. I say what I want, I don't hold back if I feel something, I'm blunt...I think if it this way, who cares if someone thinks I'm crazy? Where's their medical degree and experience with the mentally ill that gives them the right to say that?

People think a lot of things about a lot of people...crazy, to me is just one more on the list..if I cross paths with someone that thinks I'm crazy for being expressive that just means we shouldnt stay friends or whatever, because as far as I'm concerned I'm not crazy lol, but same goes for if I think someone else is nutso..like my SIL, she's not batsh!t crazy, but she literally does show classic signs of narcissistic personality disorder...and DH and are medical educated and have experience with mentally ill so its something we aren't just pulling out of our behinds....anyway, my SIL doesnt think she's crazy, she would probably read this article and be like "yeah my husband always calls me crazy and I'm not"...but she IS...lol so I guess its a matter of opinion..or lack of insight into ones own craziness...I guess ones person's "normal" os another person's crazy...
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:17 PM   #9
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Crazy goes both ways. Sure, people overreact but typically when I am calling someone crazy I am engaging in behavior that irritates them.

Like, my mom hates going down the main street in my hometown because it scares her. It's totally irrational, especially when I am driving. But I know she is going to flip out and I have to ask myself is it worth her irrational reaction to save ten minutes? And aren't I equally crazy to even consider going down that street if it upsets her that much? Just because I don't scream or yell doesn't mean my actions are more mature.

If someone calls someone crazy because of an outburst, they should ask themselves are they doing something they know will hurt/upset/enrage that person. If they know what they are doing, well that just make them a psychopath.

Which I why I just don't drive down main street with my mom in the car.
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Old 11-16-2013, 06:19 AM   #10
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I'm waiting to read the article about men being "jerks"
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Old 11-16-2013, 08:16 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by novangel View Post
Every single time I've been called "crazy" it was after I accused someone of cheating, which I was always right about in the end. It's a huge waving red flag that they are lying when they go on the defense and accuse you of being delusional. Never fails.
Yup! another term used on me was paranoid. But I didn't let it go and in the end I uncovered the truth and I was bang on, and damn that felt good to be right. I was so happy with myself for not letting it go lol
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Old 11-16-2013, 09:39 AM   #12
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Being crazy is not a matter of personal opinion. Even someone that has legitimate medical issues does not deserve to be called crazy.

Any time a word is thrown out and meant to encapsulate them and stop them from expressing themselves is downright controlling. You cannot explain a person with one word, and even if their response seems disporporionate to the situation does not mean that they are automatically mentally ill.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 11-16-2013, 03:04 PM   #13
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I disagree that you can't explain a person with a word. That's what adjectives are for! And again, I know too many people who are well and truly crazy - irrational, paranoid, low functioning, and so extremely labile that it is better to avoid than explain/discuss just about anything from the weather to politics with them. It's an exercise in my own insanity to do so. And a fair number are women (some men, but again, they manifest this stuff differently than women, so the handling of it varies a bit).

And I also would love to see an article on men being "jerks" - I think that gets misapplied for shutting down legitimate discussion as much as "crazy" for women. More, in the circles I've run in, where the women just assume the motivations of the men and go happily on their way believing themselves right and justified, rather than maturely and carefully assessing the individual and situation with a more neutral eye.
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Last edited by Arctic Mama : 11-16-2013 at 06:30 PM. Reason: Fixed some funky typos, sorry!
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Old 11-16-2013, 04:54 PM   #14
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I think the difference between men being "jerks" vs. women being "crazy" is that men weren't sent to institutions for being "jerks" and women were for being "crazy."

Expressing sexual desire was considered "crazy," being a suffragette was "crazy." I think ignoring the historical use of the word "crazy" towards women and the abuse used by generalizing women as crazy is sort of disingenuous to the conversation.

That being said, I agree that I think there has been an unflattering and quite damaging shift in feminism that has always existed but become extreme.

Example, we tell women they are free to be sexually aggressive but if a man does it he is typically labeled a rapist. I think this type of mentality is pretty a dangerous and most likely damaging to any idea of true equality of the sexes.
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Old 11-16-2013, 06:32 PM   #15
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Women are crazy (but men must never say so, if they value their lives) and men are idiots (and women can point this out anytime, anywhere).

Those are the stereotype I was raised with. I grew up in a very matriarchal family in a part of the midwest where male-bashing is acceptable anywhere anytime and where female-bashing had better never be done within earshot of any female.

Men who don't agree with everything a woman says are accused of thinking the woman is crazy. Few men are brave enough to actually make the accusation. Women however are free to call a man all sorts of things, but "idiot" is probably the most common.


I try not to fall into the habits I grew up with. I try not to call or think of my husband as an idiot, but habits learned early are hardest to break.

I have called my husband an idiot and he has called me crazy. In fairness, he was acting like an idiot when I called him that, and I was acting crazy when he used that word.

Although both my family and hubby's family see him as being a "jerk," I'm more likely to be the intentionally "mean" one in an argument. Hubby can be insensitive because he doesn't have a whole lot of empathy. He's generous to a fault, but he doesn't always understand complex emotions and rules of ettiquette. If he hurts your feelings, it's generally accidental.

I'm extremely difficult to piss off, but if you manage to do it, you will feel every bit of my wrath, and I will call you whatever I know will hurt the most.

I fight very hard to keep tight control over my inner she-demon, but PMS does bring her out. Hubby has (accurately) called my crazy, moody, and even "werewolf" because of my severe hormonal mood swings (and craving for red meat) during pms/tom.

It's also during this time of month that I'm likely to see and accuse him of being an idiot. Idiot or not, he's rarely stupid enough to call me anything unflattering during my "crazy phase." It's only when the danger has passed that he may make reference to it.

I accept the "crazy" label, because it's a pretty accurate description of my behavior, when my hormones are running amok. On the right birth control, my inner werewolf was tightly leashed, possibly even in remission for the last few years (and hubby stopped using the term). Now, as I'm entering pre-menopause, the werewolf is back.

Men and women often think SO differently, that it can be difficult for a person of one gender to think of the other as anything but defective or broken. It's often difficult to be empathetic enough to see the differences as postive or even neutral.

Hubby and I get along so well, because we're both willing to see ourselves as defective. We're ok with being seen as strange and odd to others and even to each other and ourselves. We're pretty accepting and even embracing of the crazy in each other.
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