3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

cliques at the gym

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-17-2013, 03:32 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
skittlesfirehawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: nj
Posts: 488

S/C/G: SW:171 CW:see ticker GW 120

Height: 5'1

Default cliques at the gym

hi everyone i joined the club recently and i take les mills classes mostly.all the girls are thin already and they all wear the same black pants that cutt off above the ankle and racerbacks.i wear shorts and a tshirt also not skinny yet. the one class i love bodycombat everyone knows eachother and they seem to do stuff outside of the gym.i try saying hi and getting involved in the conversations but they either answer quickly or brush me off. it seems to be the same way in my other classes all the girls dress the same and know eachother. i wanna make new gym friends. im thinking maybe its because i dont come consistenly enough maybe? they seem to be there every week like clockwork and some days i just dont feel like going.

advice?
skittlesfirehawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 05:15 PM   #2
Lifelong Alaskan!
 
alaskanlaughter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 2,651

S/C/G: 230/180/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

i think if you WANT to make new friends there, to go consistently and also look for talk more to the ones there who arent already part of the clique....me personally, i dont want to be friends and socialize at the gym...i want to get in there, work out hard, and head home to shower
__________________
alaskanlaughter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 05:21 PM   #3
Heidi
 
newleaf123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 2,963

S/C/G: 204.5/149/153

Height: 5'7"

Default

When I did spin class, I found that people were friendly but could tell that they would never be more than acquaintances. I think people join up as friends, or have been going so long together that the friendship has evolved. Like Alaska, though, I'm not really looking for friends at the gym -- although I do talk to my friends if I bump into them there.

If you want to make friends, Alaska's advice is on the money. Look for other people who also aren't in the clique, strike up conversation, and see if you share any common interests.
__________________
Original Goal Met



Working on losing some bloat...





newleaf123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 05:32 PM   #4
Here to Learn
 
EagleRiverDee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,150

S/C/G: 225/See Ticker/125

Height: 5'5"

Default

You might be better off enlisting one of your normal friends to join the gym and go with you. Then you'd have a friend in class and an accountability buddy outside of class.

I've made acquaintances at the gym before but nearly always they were the same general age and body type as me. You may also be running into some people with a bit of a snobby attitude that look down on people not as fit (yet) as they are. Do they seem friendly in general and maybe just stand-offish because they don't know you yet, or do you think maybe they are sort of shallow? If shallow, I'd avoid them and seek friends elsewhere. They won't add anything to your life.
__________________


"A mistake is not failure but feedback. -Rod Gilbert"
EagleRiverDee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 05:36 PM   #5
Warrior Princess
 
novangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,976

S/C/G: 155/143/140

Height: 5' 5.5"

Default

I steer clear of cliques. These are generally shallow, petty people. Like Eagle said, they have nothing to offer you except drama. Seek friends elsewhere.
__________________





novangel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 07:46 PM   #6
I think I'm losing it!
 
AwShucks's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 539

S/C/G: Highest 350 308/220/160

Height: 5'5"

Default

In all my years of going to the gym, I haven't ever had a "buddy" to work out with. Occasionally, I'll have a coworker (my gym is also at work) mention that they want to work out and can they come with me, but rarely does that last past one visit. I've just never found anyone else with the desire to keep at it.

I do tend to see the same people over and over at the gym, and I smile and nod, but I don't bother them while they're working out, and vice versa. Actually, now that you mention it, the people who are regulars at my gym seem to be the loners... maybe that's not the case during the day when I know a lot of mommies come to morning classes. But, in my experience, working out after work, everyone just does their own thing.

You can join a class and work out with people, but I wouldn't expect to gather friends from that crowd. It's just something that you do together and then you go your separate ways. At least, that's the way it is for me.

If you really want friends to work out with, I hope you find them. Surely there are some buddy types out there.
__________________

Losing again since January 2012


"Tomorrow is a new day; You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
(3.10.14) I resolve to lose the last 60lbs to make it all the way to goal! One blossom = 5lbs
AwShucks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2013, 09:36 AM   #7
Gone, baby, gone
 
staja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunapee, NH
Posts: 334

S/C/G: 274/212.6/134

Height: 5'1"

Default

I think it just takes time to get to know the other folks, and sometimes it's hard to become part of a group when you're the new kid...especially when it seems like everyone else goes to every class!

I've been very lucky, as I go to a pretty small gym and everyone is on the friendly side. However, it took about 10 months before I started to even talk to people regularly. I don't generally go in much for group classes, because I'm hopelessly uncoordinated/unfit/scared of other people/etc and it's really hard for me to make friends.

That being said, I signed up for a "Shape Up, Suit Up" 12 week class they were holding in May on a whim. There were never more than 3 or 4 of us, plus the instructor, and being able to meet people in the small group setting made me more comfortable to pop in for the occasional BodyPump class,as I now know some of the "regulars" and an instructor. Unfortunately, I am unable to regularly go to classes, because they all start before I can get home from work
__________________
staja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2013, 10:09 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
Palestrina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,008

S/C/G: 215/188/150

Height: 5'4"

Default

Just because they don't want to be friends with you does not mean they're bad people. They're just doing their own thing, they don't owe it to you to be friends with you. After all, they're spending their own money and their own free time to be there so they're allowed to be friends with whoever they want. I also don't think that their clothing is necessarily a uniform to indicate their click, after all a lot of people all across the nation wear that exact same outfit while working out. They may have been friends before they even joined that gym, you don't know the circumstances of their friendship. OR, they may want to be friends with people of their same fitness level and that's ok too, in fact in our society that's pretty much the norm. I can't remember the last time I set out to make a friend that was heavier than me just for the sake of it.

If you're looking to make friends through activities a better option is to join a fitness group through meetup or join an activity club. Gyms are not generally conducive to making friends.
__________________


"No matter how developed you are in any other area of your life, no matter what you say you believe, no matter how sophisticated or enlightened you think you are, how you eat tells all." - Geneen Roth
Palestrina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2013, 04:33 PM   #9
Junior Member
 
DKDJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 8

S/C/G: 163/163/140

Height: 5'5"

Default

"they seem to be there every week like clockwork and some days i just dont feel like going"

Wait. What? Don't give up! If you enjoy the class then keep going! There are "cliques" at my gym too. They talk before class, during class and after class. Why do they have so much to talk about is beyond me. But that doesn't stop me from going because my goal is to exercise.

Anyway. Don't let them bother you. Good luck!
DKDJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2013, 04:46 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
monmis12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 104

S/C/G: 258/146ish/146ish

Height: 5' 5

Default

I totally get what you are saying. I take several classes at my gym. I find some people to be friendlier than others. I also notice some to be friends with each other or good friends with the instructor and I feel kinda like an outsider. My main reason for going to the gym is exercise so I don't let that bother me. I think sometimes I am not as friendly as I could/should be so this is a reminder for me. There is one lady at my gym that I would smile and say "hi" to and she seemed to snub me every time. Finally I stopped saying hi and smiling. I saw her last Sunday and she struck up a conversation with me. Totally blew me away and makes me think I misjudged her.

Don't let this stop you from going! keep at it and keep being friendly! Like others said, if you are looking to make friends too, you might want to look elsewhere.

I don't have a friend to work out with. In the past, I have had friends who would work out with me occasionally but everybody has a different schedule and different goals in terms of exercise. My husband is a member and so he comes with me sometimes. He won't go regularly(he does have work commitments during our class times) so I go alone. My gym is really a friendly place even if I haven't made friends. If your gym is UNfriendly, maybe there are other gyms in your area.

Last edited by monmis12 : 10-18-2013 at 04:53 PM.
monmis12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2013, 09:38 AM   #11
Senior Member
 
Mad Donnelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 259

S/C/G: 212/156/145

Height: 5' 4"

Default

I haven't gone back to working out yet, but the 24-hour concept thrills me to no end for this reason so I can go when I virtually have the place to myself. I have always hated the "social" aspect of working out. I want to get in, get out, and be as unnoticed as possible.

I know that sounds antisocial and I suppose I am. But I don't like businesses that make it a policy to scream out, Hi, welcome to Subway!!!, as soon as I walk in the door. I am just here to buy a sandwich. Get my order right and I'll be thrilled. I don't need to be on a first-name basis with you.

My former place was like that. They were great and very nice and friendly and supportive, but I don't need or care to be bombarded with attention when I am just trying to slip in the door and get on with it. After a while -- and some other things -- it was too much and just wasn't the place for me.

I will look for a place where I'm comfortable by myself even tho sometimes I'll workout with my husband. I really don't expect or desire to go there to make friends.
Mad Donnelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2013, 11:55 AM   #12
Senior Member
 
patns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 2,791

S/C/G: 204/143/135

Height: 5' 1"

Default

I think most people see the gym as a place to get in and out of as quickly as possible. It is so hard to find the time to go that most people don't want to extend it any further into the time they need to do everything else in their lives.
__________________
Make choices today that your future self will thank you for!

Last edited by patns : 10-19-2013 at 11:56 AM.
patns is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do you answer the question - What's the secret? guacamole General chatter 43 05-26-2012 02:28 AM
Worldlies jump in June - where's the year gone? Shad Support Groups 245 07-03-2009 08:17 AM
Exercising & Arthritis silverfox Dieting with Obstacles 23 08-24-2008 09:16 AM
W.O.W.'s "No Foolin' You" Challenge - Week 3 Chat Thread RowdyBliss Chicks up for a Challenge 93 03-13-2007 01:01 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:29 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2