[seabiscuit]

That guy sounds like a real @$$. I don't know how to advise you but my first thought was to look for another job. You deserve better! I hope that you take care of yourself. If you do decide to get a lawyer, you could ask around for the name of one, go to your local bar counsel's website and see if they could point you in the right direction.

Good luck!

[sparkle]

Thanks everyone for the kind words! Definitely helps to be reminded that he is just a jerk!

[alaskanlaughter]

Originally Posted by IanG

I'd jab with the left and then come in with a big right. If he is still standing...left hook.

LIKE!!!

where's the like button?

[patns]

I am curious if you are now working in North America? This would be totally not exceptable at my workplace and HR would have to do something about it.

[Bindii]

Originally Posted by patns

I am curious if you are now working in North America? This would be totally not exceptable at my workplace and HR would have to do something about it.

Ditto for if this happened here in Australia. Sadly though many Asian countries don't have the same regulations and or views that we do when it comes to discrimination and code of conduct at work. I'm sorry that this has happened to you and all I can say is that what goes around comes around and that Karma will get him good one day..

[sparkle]

Patns-Yes, both os us are in the US. When we were in Asia, it was for a business trip. I think if he was at a different level they may have addressed it differently, but since he is high ranking and brings in a lot of money, he can get away with it. I told him not to talk to me like that etc, but he didn't listen and HR claimed he didn't understand. So, basically they were just protecting him.

[Bindii]

Originally Posted by sparkle

Patns-Yes, both os us are in the US. When we were in Asia, it was for a business trip. I think if he was at a different level they may have addressed it differently, but since he is high ranking and brings in a lot of money, he can get away with it. I told him not to talk to me like that etc, but he didn't listen and HR claimed he didn't understand. So, basically they were just protecting him.

HR have a lot to answer to in that case, sadly though they can also make your life a misery if you choose to take it further without their support (although I suspect I would be tempted anyway).. it may be easier to be the better person and ignore him while doing your job.. and if it's too hard start looking for another job where you are treated with the respect you deserve.

(P.S If I was there I would be tempted to smack him for you!)..

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by Bindii

HR have a lot to answer to in that case, sadly though they can also make your life a misery if you choose to take it further without their support (although I suspect I would be tempted anyway).. it may be easier to be the better person and ignore him while doing your job.. and if it's too hard start looking for another job where you are treated with the respect you deserve.

(P.S If I was there I would be tempted to smack him for you!)..

This is not a case of "be the better person" or "turn the other cheek." This is a workplace environment and the OP has rights that are not being upheld or protected. HR's job is to protect the workers and they are not doing their job. So far, only the OP is actually doing their job! I can't believe how many people are advising the OP to just deal with it when so much more can be done to protect her and those that come after her.

[amandie]

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny

This is not a case of "be the better person" or "turn the other cheek." This is a workplace environment and the OP has rights that are not being upheld or protected. HR's job is to protect the workers and they are not doing their job. So far, only the OP is actually doing their job! I can't believe how many people are advising the OP to just deal with it when so much more can be done to protect her and those that come after her.

I'm shocked too. I'd stand up and fight. Document, document and document! Seriously, look for a lawyer.

[Sasha29]

Please fight him. Document everything, keep copies of all communications, and get a lawyer. If he were making comments to someone about their race or making fun of someone who was disabled, no one would expect that person to turn the other cheek. I think those of us who are "fat" are used to people disparaging us, so we let things slide out of shame. I have heard many people say that fat people are the last group of people that it's okay to bully. Your jerk of a boss reinforces that.

One more thing: it wouldn't surprise me if your boss has a history of bullying. HR might be hiding it, but I'd be shocked if this was the first complaint they've received.

[Keywis25]

I have worked for big corporations my whole adult life and unfourtunatly the one thing I have learned is that HR's job is to minimize the legal ramifications for the company not to protect the employee's. Unless that is what minimizes the legal ramifications. So you talked to them and they talked to him and told him to quit any guy who is enough of a jerk to say it in the first place was of course going to get offensive when he got reprimanded for it. However what you must know is he is not going to get fired and is not going to change. So if you do document and decide to fight which I think you should do not take it to HR but an employment lawyer who can give you good advice and lead you in the right direction so when it comes down to it you are covered and in the right not the wrong as the company will try to paint you.

[Desiderata]

Keywis is exactly right. The purpose of HR is not to help or protect you; it's to protect the company. Common misconception. They are not your ally.