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Old 10-13-2013, 11:09 AM   #1
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Red face Making new friends- suggestions?


Does anyone have any suggestions on making new friends? I am trying a book club next month at my bookshop in town, I bought the book last night. I want to get involved in a church too but I am starting to rethink where I worship.

I feel fed up with my limited social circle, one of my closest friends is a longtime ex-boyfriend and we have known each other for about five years. I think he has a good heart but he can be very inappropriate and rude, such as always tellingly disgusting jokes, razzing people behind their backs and most offensive of all, he makes insulting remarks to me about my recent ex-boyfriend such as our sex life, etc which is very inappropriate yet he thinks it's okay and I think he is angry that I didn't put out for him but I was much more intimate with my recent ex. He also cancels on us meeting all the time with the gammet of excuses, even after I had gone to see him so many times and I foolishly paid for numerous things including gifts and meals.

I am not sure where to go from here, I hope the book club and another church will be starting off points for meeting new people. I need to meet others, I am tired of being alone, I would like to find things in town.

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Old 10-13-2013, 12:13 PM   #2
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Do you have any outdoors clubs in your area? Our city has one where you can sign up to go on a hike or a kayak trip or what-have-you with like-minded people. If I was younger and looking to meet people, that's where I would start.

I love to read and have done a few book clubs. A great way to engage in conversation with people; I'm sure you will enjoy it!
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Old 10-13-2013, 12:20 PM   #3
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Hello Seabiscuit!! The Book Club and Church both sound like great ideas! If there is a local or community college nearby, maybe see if you can sign up for a class that you are interested in (that you have to go to the classroom for)? Finding other students with a common interest is great, and can open up things like working together on homework, study groups, etc. Another thing might be a part time job somewhere where you'll see, or work with with several people. I've considered getting a part-time job at AC Moore simply because I go in there quite regularly, the people who work there are friendly and I could see myself being great friends with some of them. As a customer, I wouldn't know how to bridge that gap to say "hey there, lets be friends", but as a co-worker I'd be able to say "you wanna get a bite after work?"

I'm not sure if you are a gamer, or like comics, but many comic book shop hold card tournaments for things like Magic: the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, etc, and those can be really fun once you get past the awkward "yea I'm new here" phase.

You can also try having some of your current friends bring along a friend of theirs that you may not know...I actually become really good friends with someone that I would have never met if my friend hadn't invited her to a party they were having. We met and talked and really enjoyed each others company, and now I can just call her and chit-chat when I need to.

I hope these help! I'm sure you will have no problem finding new friends
Started Weight Watchers May 5th, 2013
Started MyFitnessPal June 23, 2013
"Rather than aiming for being perfect, just aim to be little bit better today than you were yesterday"

http://raidingobesity.blogspot.com/ A Gamer's Journey of Weight Loss
First goal: 210 lbs-5% of body weight-achieved 6/24/13
Second goal: 199 lbs-10% of body weight and ONEderland!-achieved 8/20/13
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Old 10-13-2013, 03:24 PM   #4
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check out meetup.com - you can search for groups doing things that interest you in your area.
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Old 10-13-2013, 03:44 PM   #5
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Look for exercise classes, too. I have fun chats with friends in the locker room before and after working out, and I'm assured of seeing them again the next time class meets. Plus, I'm exercising! Win-Win!

Losing again since January 2012

"Tomorrow is a new day; You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
(3.10.14) I resolve to lose the last 60lbs to make it all the way to goal! One blossom = 5lbs
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:32 PM   #6
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Churches can be a good place to start, especially if you get involved beyond just Sunday service. How about a craft group if you are craftily-inclined or are willing to learn a new skill? Or volunteering based on your interests?
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Old 10-13-2013, 06:16 PM   #7
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In my city our local library has groups for people, not just book related, but also women's groups. Our city hall also puts out books with social events.


Doing this one day at a time.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:51 AM   #8
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Dance classes are great because people are there with the intention of being social and having fun.

Cooking classes are great, any kind of arts classes. If I were looking for new friends right now I'd sign up to an activity club such as hiking.

And drop this ex-boyfriend, he's dead weight! No friends is better than someone who sabotages other friendships, is inappropriate and rude. And cancelling on you? Unacceptable! He doesn't respect you at all. Shut that door and let another one open.

"If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you are eating, when you've had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist." - Geneen Roth
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:10 AM   #9
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Meetup.com, peruse and see if there are any groups you are interested in personally or professionally. I am involved mostly in professional groups on Meetup.com but there are lot of personal interest groups. Also, there are some professional groups on LinkedIn.com as well.

I am in the process of pursuing a new hobby and I ordered something on etsy related to the hobby by a person that lives near me and they invited me to a group related to that hobby. It was a bit of a shock but I guess they really like getting new people involved.
You can't out-exercise poor eating habits.
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Old 10-15-2013, 02:20 PM   #10
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+1 for Meetup.com. I've joined a couple hiking clubs that way, which is an interest of mine. I live in a relatively small city and yet we still have a broad Meetup spectrum- everything from nudists to hiking to knitting to dog clubs to atheists to wine lovers.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas A. Edison

It took me 9 years to learn how to lose weight. Don't give up!
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Old 10-16-2013, 10:24 PM   #11
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Also check your local radio stations and local newspaper of for community happenings.

We have local theater, tons of charity stuff, like breast cancer walks. Volunteer, at a day care, or animal shelter. Who knows, go out on a limb and check out something new.

I live in a small community, yet in the spring, the locals do an exchange of garden plants in the park.

No matter where you live, there are options. Sometimes it's tough to go out on the proverbial limb, and explore new things, but totally worth it!

5+ year maintainer.
The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
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Old 10-17-2013, 12:53 PM   #12
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I joined a gym last week...anytime fitness. I'm taking fusion class and Zumba. Great way to meet new people! They have parties around the holidays and I plan on participating in those.
If you love animals, you could volunteer to help rescue groups or your local humane society.

Link to before and after pics
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Old 10-17-2013, 03:29 PM   #13
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have you tried meetup?
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Old 10-17-2013, 06:48 PM   #14
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Default Thanks everyone!


Thanks everyone for the input and advice! I am looking forward to the book group, I have the book and I started it, I think it's a good book. The book group is hosted by life coaches, that should be interesting. I have mixed feelings about staying at my church, I think the pastor and the deacon are very nice, I haven't met anyone there who I have kept in touch with. There are some other churches in the area, I am going to think about it.

I did try meetup before and I went to a writing group once from it. Since then the facilitator has moved away. I want to do more, it's just getting recovered from my ankle surgery, then I will return to my volunteering at the hospital. I don't drive right now, but I would like to try to find some activities in town.

Thanks again.
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