I went online to try to locate a friend from high school, and I found out that that she died 6 months ago from breast cancer. I am sitting here in complete shock.
She was smart, funny, sensitive and a good friend. She was also tall, attractive and moderately overweight.
While we were in high school, I found out that she was extremely overweight in grade school and was horribly bullied by some of the other kids. Her mother was also very cruel to her about her weight in front of her friends, including her high school friends. All of her friends knew that this had a terrible impact on her. I used to try to comfort her and to talk to her about my own experiences of being overweight. She would never, ever talk about her feelings. She would put up walls, and escape into her books and fantasies about the future. I also remember that she always wore a poncho to school to cover up her body.
She had some great and definite ideas about what she wanted to see and do with her life, but as I learned from her obituary, she was not able to do most of them. She never married, never left our home town, didn't have the career that she wanted. I also learned that no one held a memorial service for her. That may have been at her request as her parents and brother had already died, but she did have some extended family and friends.
I imagine that her dreams may have changed over the years and I hope she loved the life she had. She did go to college (which she very much wanted to do), she had a job, hobbies and friends.
I am sad because:
1. A cure for cancer hasn't been found.
2. I didn't think sooner about getting in contact with her.
3. I am sorry that she was treated so badly about her weight. I am sad for anyone who is treated that way for any reason.
4. She didn't do all of the things she dreamed about.
5. No one held a memorial service for her.
6. I wonder if she ever knew what a great person she was.
I can't know how her life was. I will just hang on to my good memories of her.
Rest in peace, Julie.
Thank you all for letting me get this out. I think the lesson is to stay in touch with the people who are important to us and to let them know how special they are.