3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

Thread Tools
Old 09-10-2013, 10:25 AM   #1
AngieRR1022's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 85

S/C/G: 218/171/150

Height: 5'6"

Default Can I whine for a minute? Feeling alone...

I don't know where else to turn, so I'm coming here. Lately I have been feeling very much alone. I will keep this as short as possible, but be warned even the short version will probably be long.

In March 2013 my 3 yr old neice (who my parents were raising) was taken away by DCS because my parents and my neice's mother (my sister) all failed drug tests. (Little back story, my parents have always been addicts. I grew up knowing this. I was the mom, my mom was always high.) She ended up with me and my husband. We tried to make it work for a few months, but made it very clear that if it wasnt a good fit for our family she would have to go somewhere else. In May, my husband and I decided that we financially, physically, and emotionally, could not continue raising an additional child. (We have 3 of our own.) My neice is now with a good friend of her father's, with a goal of transitioning to live with her father. I have not spoken to most of my family since that day. They blame me for this whole situation. The only contact I have had with my family is a few times my father has called me, asking me to do stuff for him. He doesnt even ask how my children are doing. My husband and I were starting to feel used, so we made the decision to change our phone numbers and cut off all contact with my family.

So, I basically dont have parents or sisters anymore. I dont have many friends, I am just not a naturally social person. I have a couple close friends, but they have their own children and their own lives to worry about. I work days and my husband works nights, so we dont get a lot of time together. And lately it seems whenever I call him to talk about something that's bothering me, his phone is turned off or he didn't hear it ring or whatever.

I know it was the best thing for myself and my children to cut off contact with my parents and sisters (my sisters are now on drugs just like my parents). Lately I miss them though. I miss having someone to talk to.

Ok, I feel a little better now. Ugh. It helps to just get it out.

One dancing carrot for each 5 lbs lost:

AngieRR1022 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 10:27 AM   #2
Senior Member
zoesmom's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,118

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"


How I can relate in so many ways.

Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:06 PM   #3
I got this
amandie's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Near St. Louis
Posts: 2,815

S/C/G: 206/162/135

Height: a little over 5'2


Huge hugs!!! You can talk to us on here!
amandie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:17 PM   #4
Lifelong Alaskan!
alaskanlaughter's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Posts: 2,669

S/C/G: 230/180/150

Height: 5'5"


((hugs)) I totally understand and can relate to some of that....I know what it's like to have family addicted to substances...and my DH and I also tried raising someone else's baby for awhile until it became more about the family drama than what was about what's best for the baby...its heartbreaking at times
alaskanlaughter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:26 PM   #5
Here to Learn
EagleRiverDee's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,071

S/C/G: 225/134.8/135

Height: 5'5"


*Nods* My family isn't close, either, and I'm not a naturally social person so I have very few friends. I have my DH, but I was thinking the other day that if something catastrophic happened to me it would be only my mother or my DH I would want to talk to. I can't think of a single friend who I feel I could depend on for emotional support. And sometimes I get desperately lonely. Last year I joined Meetup and that has helped, to a point. I do get out into social situations more. But I haven't made any true friendships from it, just acquaintances. I had a close friend up until November of last year but our friendship fizzled and now is non-existent. It is tough.

That said, I think you made the right decision cutting your family off. I think we're better off alone than with people who don't care about us around and only want us around for what we can do for them. Friendships and family should be mutually beneficial, not just one directional.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas A. Edison

It took me 9 years to learn how to lose weight. Don't give up!
EagleRiverDee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:29 PM   #6
AngieRR1022's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 85

S/C/G: 218/171/150

Height: 5'6"


You ladies have no idea how much I appreciate this. I swear, I couldn't have found a better group of people if I'd tried.

I'm feeling much better now. Sometimes it just helps to let it all spill out to whomever may be listening.

One dancing carrot for each 5 lbs lost:

AngieRR1022 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:33 PM   #7
Badass Brokeleg Bunny
tefrey's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 419

S/C/G: 239.2/199.8/170


I'm so sorry this has happened. You made the right choice for you, and the fact that your niece is going to live with her father sounds like a good thing for both of them.

I know you care for your family but they don't sound good for you, for your niece, or for each other. It's hard but you may need to find a new, healthy family.

You guys sound really busy but I wonder if you have time for an activity, something just for you? Taking a class or joining a club is a great way to be around people and make new friends and have something to talk about.

Anyway, you seem like a really great nice person with a lot to offer, so I feel sure you will find people who want to be your friend.
tefrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:34 PM   #8
Senior Member
mhill0823's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Middle TN
Posts: 661

Height: 5'9"


We're all here if you need us, anytime!!!!
I'm sorry you have to go through that situation but I know you're strong enough and can always vent to us when you need to!
Hope you're having a great day!!
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
Psalm 119:32
mhill0823 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 01:37 PM   #9
Senior Member
cleancowgirl's Avatar
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 320

S/C/G: 270/270/160

Height: 5'5


I definitely can relate. My family was not addicts but not great people. Your family is not in a good place for you. Sometimes we need to break ties to survive. Addicts tend to blame everyone but themselves and you are the victim. I will make an ultimatum with them if they do crawl back into your life. Get off the drugs or not contact with you and especially with your kids. Good luck. I am sure you are a social person. You came here asking for help. Join a church if you are religious, join a hobby club, get involved with your childrens school in a more vocal way. There are people waiting to meet you and become your friend.
<a href="https://lilyslim.com/"><img src="https://swlf.lilyslim.com/PtPqm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="LilySlim Weight loss tickers" /></a>
cleancowgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 04:30 PM   #10
Senior Member
Palestrina's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607

S/C/G: 215/188/150

Height: 5'4"


That's a very brave decision you made, and a very difficult one. Whenever I hear someone has cut ties with their immediate family members I never second guess them - because it's such a difficult thing to do that I figure it's the last straw and no other options available. I have to believe that you did the right thing for your kids and yourself and that's most important.

I would leave a door open, make it clear to your family that you love them but that they have lost the right to use you. If they want contact with you they will have to be clean, no ands ifs or butts and that's all there is to it.

"If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you are eating, when you've had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist." - Geneen Roth
Palestrina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 04:40 PM   #11
AngieRR1022's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 85

S/C/G: 218/171/150

Height: 5'6"


Wannabe, I wish it were that simple. The courts gave my parents a choice between their family and drugs. Literally. When my niece was living with me, the judge told them they were not allowed to visit unless they passed a drug test. My father told me "I ain't quittin. I'm too **** old to change, girl." And they refused any treatment or further drug testing by the courts.

They chose drugs over their grandchildren. They chose drugs over me. After a lifetime of this, I dont think I have it in me to leave a door open for these people. It hurts me, it seriously breaks my heart, but I think it's the only way for me to move on. I am mostly happy with my decision. Like so many people have said here, my children and I don't need people like that in our lives. But every now and then I get down about it. And that's what I have my few close friends and you guys on here for.

One dancing carrot for each 5 lbs lost:

AngieRR1022 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 08:11 PM   #12
I think I'm losing it!
AwShucks's Avatar
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 539

S/C/G: Highest 350 308/220/160

Height: 5'5"


You're not alone. You've created your own family with your DH and your kids! I'm single and have only brothers, so we're not very close --even their kids are stand-offish. I always think that if I had sisters, it wouldn't be that way. But, then, I might have other problems like yours. Really sorry about your original family dynamics.

Hang in there. It's hard to make friends once we reach a certain age. I've tried, and been disappointed so many times when someone flakes out on me. Just keep on keeping on. And, come here when you need to talk. We'll listen!

Losing again since January 2012

"Tomorrow is a new day; You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
(3.10.14) I resolve to lose the last 60lbs to make it all the way to goal! One blossom = 5lbs
AwShucks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 09:28 PM   #13
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9


Addicts are all about themselves. A sad, sad truth.
melaniv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2013, 10:21 PM   #14
Aussie :)
mzshaunna's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 209

S/C/G: 101.4kg/98.3kg/70kg

Height: 5'11


I'm so sorry to hear that *huuuuuge hugs*. You need to put your children first and you did what was best for your family. It's such a shame but definately their loss that they are taking their problems out on you.
= 1 for every 5pounds/2.25kg lost
mzshaunna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2013, 12:00 AM   #15
luckymommy's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277

S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155

Height: 5'9.5"


Just want to send you some . I do hope you find someone who can appreciate you as you deserve. As others have said, you absolutely did the right thing by ending your relationship with your family.
luckymommy is offline   Reply With Quote

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do you do things in moderation? KittyKatFan Weight Loss Support 25 06-30-2012 04:30 PM
"Party Like It's 2009" Red Team Chat #2 cakses Biggest Loser Challenges 245 01-27-2009 08:02 PM
Why bother? MrsK Weight Loss Support 29 09-07-2003 05:25 PM
300+ and Ready To Try Again... #151 2cute2Bfat Weight Loss Support 27 04-06-2002 04:45 AM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:49 PM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2