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Does anyone else feel this way?

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Old 08-30-2013, 05:22 PM   #1
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Default Does anyone else feel this way?

I went to buy a pedometer the other day, and I asked a sales LADY where they were and she yelled to another employee "Hey Joe, can you show her where the pedometers are?" And I looked and realized I knew "Joe" a young, fit attractive teacher of my son's...

I was mortified, but of course acted like nothing was wrong, said hi and quickly grabbed a pedometer (which ended up sucking) and left.

I still as a grown women get really anxious if a guy sees me making an effort trying to lose weight. I believe through and through that they are all thinking the same thing "look at the fat girl trying to lose weight, too funny!"

I don't like to look at health food or diet foods in the store if a guy is in the isle, I get embarrassed if a fit guy sees me out walking...only guys, namely fit ones..i'm happily married, and in my 30s!! Also, i'm actually more of a tom boy, i have always kept mostly male friends, but i don't ever want them to knoe i'm trying to lose weigh... what gives?
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Old 08-30-2013, 06:15 PM   #2
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That's a ridiculous thing for any sales person to do and I would have had a quiet word with her to give her some feedback on treating you like that. However I know where your coming from. When I first joined the gym and went swimming, when I got out I went in the health suite to go in the sauna and immediately left as there was guys in it. I'm married and have been for 21 years but still got embarrassed as I was in my swimsuit.
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Old 08-30-2013, 08:00 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
I still as a grown women get really anxious if a guy sees me making an effort trying to lose weight. I believe through and through that they are all thinking the same thing "look at the fat girl trying to lose weight, too funny!"
I'd be willing to bet my snazzy car that fit guys like Joe aren't thinking that. The thing about fitness is that, for people really into it, it's a passion. And people feel evangelical about their passions. They want others to love their passion as much as they do. If they see someone who they perceive as being new to fitness, their internal reaction isn't mockery, but excitement. It's, "Awesome! Now she sees what I'm talking about and loves this too!" (Of course, it's a false assumption that someone overweight is new to fitness, but I do think many people make it.)

As to why you get those feelings...Maybe it feels like it exposes your struggle with weight and you're more comfortable with people believing you want your weight than them knowing that it's something you want to change? Because when they know, they're getting a little glimpse of this being something that causes some pain, and there's uncertainty about whether you'll get the weight loss you want, so it also exposes them to the disappointment you risk?

The thing though is that I think most people have a root for the underdog mentality. When they learn that someone is facing a challenge, they--in some way--can relate and, if anything, feel more endeared to that person.
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Old 08-30-2013, 08:21 PM   #4
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I'd be willing to bet my snazzy car that fit guys like Joe aren't thinking that. The thing about fitness is that, for people really into it, it's a passion. And people feel evangelical about their passions. They want others to love their passion as much as they do. If they see someone who they perceive as being new to fitness, their internal reaction isn't mockery, but excitement. It's, "Awesome! Now she sees what I'm talking about and loves this too!" (Of course, it's a false assumption that someone overweight is new to fitness, but I do think many people make it.)
I agree, when my vegan friend started eating cheese I got really excited that I could explain the cheese section of Trader Joe's to her!

But in all seriousness, I know how you feel but as someone who has been on both ends of this situation they really don't care. But I get it, when I first started working out I didn't want a male trainer in the gym under any circumstances but I got over it and ended up finding out that the male trainers were actually much nicer and willing to listen and modify my training than the women were. So you never know!
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Old 08-30-2013, 09:19 PM   #5
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Could be worse. I was in the pharmacy aisle at target the other day picking up Summer's Eve and Pepto Bismol. Then looked up to see 3 hot male employees socializing at the end of the aisle. I'd much rather be caught buying weight loss products than feminine care and digestive issue products.
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:10 PM   #6
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I think that it's my age (50s), but I don't give a **** who sees me or what other people think. This is very liberating because instead of being intimidated by what someone else thinks, I just go ahead and focus on what is best for me and what I need and want. I wish that I learned how to do this a long time ago. When I was younger, I felt much more uncomfortable in these types of situations with both men and women.

When I see anyone exercising, no matter what shape they are in, I just cheer for them!
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:33 PM   #7
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I tend to live in my head and while i'm aware of my surroundings, i'm often not very focused on them....so if i'm picking out things at the store I hardly pay attention to who is around me...the only time I remember being uncomfortable is when I've gone to the gym's hot tub and been the only girl in there with a few men and i'm just not comfortable like that....it has nothing to do with a swimsuit etc, but just that I don't like having other men in my personal space and I feel obligated to TALK with them and i'd rather just be alone and quiet
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:37 PM   #8
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I have learnt to own my weightloss and don't give a hoot what anyone thinks.

Yeah, I keep my diet food in my office (lots of canned fish, salad in the work fridge). Yeah, people see me with a gym bag a lot.

So what? They all know I was fat. Now I am less so.

Who laughs last?

Moi.
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:46 PM   #9
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While I know it's ridiculous I am the same way, I hate it! I'm waiting for the day store security grabs me thinking I'm trying to steal something because I act so skittish when I'm in the fitness aisle...I will walk down the aisle never stopping trying to decided what I want to get. Sometimes it takes a few passes before I figure out what I want. I never stop in the aisle, I just walk through and grab what I want pretending like I don't care. If there are men in the aisle I won't even go down it.

I'm like you I feel like if men see me exercising they will make fun of me. This has kept me from joining a gym or wanting to walk outside. I'm hoping I will get over it at some point...oddly if I have a friend with me I'm ok which makes no sense, it's just as easy to laugh and make fun of 2 people as it is for 1.

For the record I am just as weird when I have to buy something "embarrassing" like condoms, ky, tampods, Imodium, etc.
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:58 AM   #10
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Most times I don't care or pay attention to what others are buying or what they might be thinking about my purchases. But, in the case you mentioned if Joe was somebody I knew or maybe went to high school with then I could see me being more uncomfortable than if it was a random fit person at the store.
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Old 08-31-2013, 01:03 AM   #11
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I doubt he was thinking anything close to that. You should feel proud of yourself and no it's not embarrassing at all!
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Old 08-31-2013, 01:09 AM   #12
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this summer my parents visited me from their very remote homestead in northern Alaska.....my dad fell in love with the apple fritters at a local bakery and ate several each day he was here....so every morning I would go early to the bakery and buy a big bag of apple fritters for him, and a few donuts for the kids, and a bagel for my mom

this was after my early morning run....so every morning I would walk into the bakery, hot and sweaty and wearing obviously running gear, and purchase a big set of fritters, donuts and bagels..LMAO! I felt SO WEIRD doing that....like I needed to explain to the other customers "These aren't for me! I swear!" LOL
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Old 08-31-2013, 02:01 AM   #13
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I tend to feel more proud of myself when I buy things to do with fitness and dieting. Generally I don't pay much attention to the people around me when shopping.
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Old 08-31-2013, 02:17 AM   #14
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My favorite scene from the movie Mr. Mom... "Irv, are these Kotex Maxi Pads on special?" said over the store intercom, lolol. I work in retail and honestly, we don't even give situations like that a second thought, at least not my co-workers, both male and female - we are just focused on helping the customer find what they need. I am sure it's completely gone over my head before that I made a customer feel self-conscious :/ I'm sorry she was oblivious and called a male salesperson to help you.

I would be shocked if the male salesperson thought anything, but if he did, it was most certainly a positive thought that you were interested in fitness, no matter what you're current size. Really fit people generally love to talk fitness, and there is nothing they are more interested in then someone transforming themselves!

When I'm on "the other side the counter," it's a different story. I live in a smallish town and when I go to the grocery store I will usually see a few acquaintances or friends. It's completely ridic but I will try to camo my fem-hy purchases in my shopping cart by piling other items over it. I don't want to run into male neighbors or friends of my husband and be all like, "Hey what's up, check out my heavy duty overnight superlong pads, bro."
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:17 AM   #15
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Ok! So where is your fear or angst? That someone you recognize sees you making an effort and that you are worried that in a few months time you wouldn't be "making the effort anymore?"

That used to be my way of thinking, my solution, don't give up on myself. I'm not in this to please anyone else. It's about me for me.
Walking is awesome, so enjoy your journey.
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