So I'm a little annoyed today- okay, not a little, a lot. Here are some "letters" I wish I could send them to say what I really want to say. Add yours!


Dear Mom,

Why did you even bother asking if I want you to hang up my suit jacket in my closet if you won't wait for a response (I said no) and won't ask where the correct spot is in my closet (hint: it's not in the middle of four pairs of jeans). And telling me "Oh, you can fix it" is rude.

Signed,
I'm not the disgusting slovenly pig you seem to think I am


Dear Mom,

Your sister is coming over. And as usual, you've enlisted the whole house in a frantic cleaning spree. Because clearly your sister will be mortally offended if there's dishes in the sink, don'tcha know. She's your SISTER, not the president. She earns the same degree of cleanliness we do. And I don't see you busting YOUR a** to clean the house for US.

Signed,
We will not go to **** if the house looks like someone lives here


Dear Dad,

Stop being such an aggressive jackwad. There is no prize for obtaining a weeks worth of groceries from the store in under 10 minutes. This is not Supermarket Sweep! You will not die if the person turning right on red in front of you takes a few extra seconds to verify a lane opening. At an intersection, going around (and continuing straight) a car waiting to turn left (at a light with no left turn light) is RUDE. It's called "Opposing cars turning left coordinating their timing so they both can go". You're just coming home. You can wait 10 seconds for YOUR TURN. It's REALLY not necessary to change lanes 20 times (yes, I counted) between our house and the movie theater 15 minutes away! You won't get there any faster. Calm the down.

Signed,
You make me wish I smoked


Dear Hiring Companies,

HELLO!

Signed,
Bachelor degree holder that needs a JOB THANK YOU


Phew! I feel better now

haha I love this thread!

Dear stroppy 12 year old Daughter,

Just because you don't have a pug, an iPad and a wardrobe full of Hollister clothing does not make me a bad mother and gives you no reason to hate me. Kindly take your stroppy butt to your bedroom where you can watch your tv (that I paid for), use your iPod (that I paid for) be warm from all the central heating (that I am paying for) and enjoy the roof over your head (that I am paying for).

yours sincerely, your prematurely greying mother.

I love this thread! I'm having a great day, so no letters to post. I'll be back tomorrow after work; I'm sure I'll have plenty to say then.

And I'm going to work the term "stroppy" into my daily vocabulary. I have an affinity for British slang. I clearly live on the wrong continent...

haha SuperHero, I am glad you are having a good day! My kid is currently 'chucking a stoonie', that is scots slang for throwing a tantrum. hope your day continues to be good!

Dear Manager:

Thanks a lot for making the new hire's start date on the Monday that I'd planned to take off for my summer vacation -- and then telling me that though the guy who hired her is based in the U.K., and ought to be responsible for training her, I am going to have to train her. Thanks for causing me to cancel my vacation plans at the last minute. Thanks for not even noticing that happened, even though I know the Outlook calendaring function worked for your calendar. Thanks for causing me to miss the big Bouckville Antique Show which I have attended almost yearly since 1986.

Signed,
Your Newly Unmotivated Employee


Dear Cancer:

Please leave my friends and family alone. Go succumb to a cure or something.

Signed,
Someone who's heard too many cancer diagnoses recently

Dear Hubby's work,

Thank you so much for keeping Hubby flying all over the country for a week at a time because you have down-sized your company until you are under-staffed. Do you think I'm tired of spending time with Him?

Signed,

The Lonely Penguin

Dear Fat,

Go away

Love,
There is a thin body under here somewhere

hahaha, nice one beerab.

Dear roommate,

I'm starting to hate you but I'm just hiding the fact. Please stop pushing my buttons.

Dear Mom,

I love you dearly but you are one of the most selfish human beings I have ever met. Would you PLEASE stop trying to inflict guilt on me and make me think I am responsible for your overreactions to trivial BS? You raised me well and I have a pretty darn good life - it's unfortunate that you seem to think that my not picking up the phone every other day is some sort of personal affront - I'm BUSY, dammit!!! If you attack me every time I do call - well, you taught me not to cater to emotional vampires because you don't put up with it. Guess what? I'm trainable! So sorry to report that I don't lose sleep over YOUR emotional states.

Sincerely, I Hate Drama Queens Daughter

Dear In-Laws,
Please quit cooking so much unhealthy food and inviting our family over. Also, if there are only 10 of us eating dinner, do not feel the need to cook for 20. Do NOT make me feel guilty for not taking home half the meal you cooked because you made too much! And, while I'm on this rant...please quit feeding my kid all of the home-made brownies, cookies and cake that you can bake. She is 15 with a serious weight problem and YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!

Signed,
I love you both, but you are pissing me off!

Dear Texas heat,

Please cool down in the evening so I don't have to wake up at 6am to run while it is still tolerable. I am sick of being ready to go to bed at 9pm, especially since I have a class this coming semester that goes until 9:45.

Or better yet, just cool down altogether!

Signed,

A runner-to-be that refuses to get heat stroke trying to train

Dear Fiance,

Please stop saying you're going to unload the dishwasher and then leave it be. Shadow-Run can wait.

Sincerely,

Your soon to be wife







Dear body,

Stop hoarding water like its going out of fashion.

Sincerely,

ME

Dear Uncle who lives on my couch for free

Stop bringing sweets, chococlates and biscuits home. Just because you don't care about what you put into your body it isn't the same for me. Be a bit more sympathetic to my weight loss efforts and stop laughing at me when I won't touch the junk food you bring into the house.

Sincerely,

Your niece who is tired of cleaning up after you.

Dear Money,
Please come home,I miss you.
Signed, broke for weeks

Dear Car,
Stop being a brat
Signed, tired of banging ignition with pliers.

Dear Fat Cells,
Have a meeting and decide who has to go,I can no longer support all of you.
Signed, too heavy still

Dear Roommate,
Please stop leaving your plates and bowls laying in the floor so that my dog can get to them and they trying to get smart with me when she gets an upset stomach and has accidents all over your floor. She's not supposed to eat people food and you're too lazy to get up and pick your dishes up when you go to bed.

Sincerely,
9 more months on this lease.



Dear Boss,
Please stop paying someone more than me and expecting me to do their job and telling me I'm not doing my job well enough.
You're making me hate me career.

Sincerely,
I kill myself for this place.