Just like the title says...
First of all, I've been sick all week. Really sick... My body aches all over, I feel dizzy and lightheaded, and my stomach is just churning. THe thought of food is appalling and when this first started I went 24 hours without eating just because I couldn't keep anything down. I'm getting scared that something is really, really wrong. But... I can't go to a doctor because due to some odd circumstances at my job and involving my ex husband, I am without health insurance until October. I guess the only upside to this is it's helping with my weight loss... but that's the least of my concerns right now.
Add to this misery I've been dealing with... the fact that I work a very physical job and have been on mandatory overtime (60+ hours a week) since the beginning of July. Every week my boss tells us it will be the last week. Then we come in on Monday to a Memo that says overtime will continue until further notice. I am missing a good friend's birthday bash this week because I'll be at work. I also will be missing another good friend's wedding here in a couple weeks. Having no life is starting to get to me. And, one night this week I was so sick I couldn't function at work, so I had to go home early. Now they are making me work 11 hours shifts until I make up the hours that were lost the night I left early. I'm already sick and weak... now being forced to work longer hours!
Last night my boyfriend told me he interviewed with a company in California. (We are in Ohio now.) He said the interview went well and they should be in touch here soon. I asked him where that leaves things for him and I if he get's this job. We both agreed that this relationship is worth holding onto, and we don't want to do the long distance thing. So, if he gets this job, I will be moving out there with him. But, the thought of that is scary as **** to both of us. Neither of us have ever lived away from our home town. So, on top of all this other crap that is going on, this is just something else to be un-nerved about. I know it sounds awful but I'm kind of hoping he doesn't get the job.
I actually wish he was here right now... but he has his own job to worry about right now. He has a huge deadline coming up.
I can't stop crying. I didn't even want to get out of bed today. And I don't want to go to work and bust *** for 11 hours either. I could barely choke down my breakfast and the thought of dinner is nauseating to me. Truthfully, I just want to take a sleeping pill and be near comatose for the next day or so. But I can't.
I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.