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What a Buzz Kill

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Old 08-02-2013, 04:25 PM   #1
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Unhappy What a Buzz Kill

A place i go to every friday has seen me through my weight loss and today one of the people asked me (sigh) "Are you still losing weight? You need to stop, you're starting to LOOK SICK" and she repeated it.

Not only am i tired of people asking me if i'm still losing weight (i'm not, i'm maintaining) but that one was a first and it did sting because as i've lamented in previous posts, my face has really showed the weight loss and i went through a brutal time period of really feeling that i was ugly, i survived that, tried to put the narcissism aside and accept myself only to hear that.
I've posted my pic in another thread asking you all to let me know if i'm truly too skinny (which is ridiculous) and all of you said, no...it's just people comparing me to the old me. Well fine but now i'm getting a bit tired of it
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Old 08-02-2013, 04:54 PM   #2
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I don't blame you for being tired of this kind of talk! You look perfectly healthy People can butt in where they are not wanted, especially regarding women's bodies, because you know, we belong to the public

Like water off a duck's back, don't let it bother you. As others have said too, it can take people a while to get "used to" the new you.

You look wonderful, really!
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Old 08-02-2013, 05:24 PM   #3
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Okay, had to go and look at your picture before I could comment. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! What are they talking about??? You should be very proud that your hard work has paid off and not let stupid comments like that get you down. I know it's hard though...4 years ago (sigh...) I was down to about 152 and some of my friends and family members where saying the same sort of thing. I sometimes wonder if it's due to jealousy that maybe they aren't reaching their goals??? Anyways, you look great and ignore those comments!!
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:14 PM   #4
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The problem with change is that people are comparing you to the old you, not the "new" you. If they were to meet you in the street today, you would look like a normal, healthy weight woman. However, when compared next to your old self, you are going to look thin and this scares people since people are naturally adverse to change.

I went and looked at your pictures and you look great. You look like your at a normal, healthy weight. Try and brush off the remarks!
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:35 PM   #5
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You look just perfect in your profile picture! But I can totally sympathize that that would be a buzzkill...
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Old 08-02-2013, 09:16 PM   #6
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I don't say this very often but honestly, I'm beginning to think people are jealous and engaging in a bit of subtle sabotage. My god, Reilly, you are gorgeous. I really don't get anyone saying stuff like that to you.
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Old 08-03-2013, 06:52 AM   #7
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Some people will judge you no matter what your weight is. Just ignore those people and don't feel that you should change just because of what they say. I looked at your pictures and you look very pretty and healthy!
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Old 08-03-2013, 02:44 PM   #8
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Thank you, everyone!

i know now that it's common for those of us on a weight loss journey to hear what i'm hearing but i would really like to never hear it again quite frankly because to me in reality they're saying i look BAD. And yes it's going to roll off of me because frankly i can't do anything about the way i look except to try to be healthy. Just wish people would SHUT UP. People think that if they see you during weight loss that they have the PRIVILEGE of constant comments and can remark at any time that THEY think you should stop, i don't know WHY that is but i wish everyone would realize that that is UNINVITED conversation unless one is encouraging the person with kudo's and encouragement. I feel like wearing a T Shirt that says JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. Okay enough rant
I hope that gal does not say anything more because i will be forced to say something and it's not my nature to be confrontational or rude...
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Old 08-03-2013, 11:03 PM   #9
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I think the lady at that restaurant needs her eyes checked. You don't look sickly at all--not one iota. You look beautiful.
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Old 08-04-2013, 12:33 AM   #10
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You look like you are at the exact right weight for your height and not very many people can say that.
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Old 08-04-2013, 01:02 PM   #11
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I went and searched out your other thread and WOW you look great! You would pass for 30 easily, and your face looks great, very pretty. You do not look too thin in the face at all, I think you look perfectly normal.
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Old 08-04-2013, 01:05 PM   #12
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Also, don't be afraid to just say to people "I'm sorry but I would prefer you refrain from making negative comments on my personal appearance." It's a polite way to let people know that you are not going to allow that sort of behavior. I get "You look tired" a lot, and I always feel kind of like saying "Gee thanks for pointing that out!" It feels like they are saying "You look gross today."
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Old 08-05-2013, 02:37 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MauiKai View Post
Also, don't be afraid to just say to people "I'm sorry but I would prefer you refrain from making negative comments on my personal appearance." It's a polite way to let people know that you are not going to allow that sort of behavior. I get "You look tired" a lot, and I always feel kind of like saying "Gee thanks for pointing that out!" It feels like they are saying "You look gross today."
Yes, exactly. In fairness to the people, i think most are well meaning and i'll give them that but HOW ELSE are we supposed to interpret "you look sick" or "you're looking tired". People try to reassure me in saying that people are jealous but i don't see it that way, i just take it like i'm looking bad but i am not taking it to heart any more. i do have that power and am really going to try not to internalize it!

Thank you for saying i look 30 Pics are different IRL though. Recently i was told i look 40 so i must look older IRL but that's fine. At least i've only gotten the "you look sick" from one person and yes if she mentions my weight again i'm going to have to shut her down. I think my response will be to completely ignore her when if she says something about my weight, maybe that will speak volumes. Good grief, it's like we've given folks an open mike when we lose weight publicly!
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Old 08-09-2013, 04:36 PM   #14
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Well today at the same place i just talked to one of the employees there and she said that gal has said similiar to her (she's lost weight also-the employee that i talked to) and has said really innapropriate things like "a few of us have talked and we decided that dress you're wearing makes you look older and it just doesn't look good on you, you look sick, etc. etc." so it DOES make me feel better and not so bad that she told me i look sick last week. At least it's not just me she's saying it to so maybe i really DON'T look that bad

Funny thing is, i still really like this gal but i'll just take her with a grain of salt from now on. And another good thing it did for me, even though i didn't like hearing i look sick, is that i'm learning to let things roll off me and not let them trouble me so much as they did in the past.
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:18 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReillyJ View Post
A place i go to every friday has seen me through my weight loss and today one of the people asked me (sigh) "Are you still losing weight? You need to stop, you're starting to LOOK SICK" and she repeated it.

Not only am i tired of people asking me if i'm still losing weight (i'm not, i'm maintaining) but that one was a first and it did sting because as i've lamented in previous posts, my face has really showed the weight loss and i went through a brutal time period of really feeling that i was ugly, i survived that, tried to put the narcissism aside and accept myself only to hear that.
I've posted my pic in another thread asking you all to let me know if i'm truly too skinny (which is ridiculous) and all of you said, no...it's just people comparing me to the old me. Well fine but now i'm getting a bit tired of it
Years ago when I had lost a lot of weight there was this one woman who was ALWAYS commenting on how I was too skinng, I need to stop losing, are you still losing, etc. I finally told here yes I was at goal (I was not but she did not need to know that) just so she would back off. I think that the main reason people do this is because they are jealous, pure and simple. Remember you do NOT answer to these people! Be proud of yourself and your accomplishment and remember the problem is with them and not you!! God bless.
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