My son asked a thin, elderly woman if she was pregnant...

  • We went out to breakfast this morning, and while waiting in the sitting area to be seated we were talking to an elderly couple. They started talking to us, because seeing us with 2 boys, people usually ask if my current baby belly is a girl or another boy. So we got to talking and the woman was also talking to my 5 year old son about having a new baby. And then my son asked the woman if she was pregnant and having a baby. I told him that was rude and its not something you ask a woman. The thing was the lady wasn't fat at all! No belly. I think because I'm pregnant, he just thinks a lot of women are too. And they commente on pregnancy first which I think confused my son, but my goodness its so obvious, there is Nooooo mistaking I'm pregnant. I still felt bad though, but she didn't seem to mind. Also the couple was in their 70s maybe so I guess she thought it was funny? She continued talking to us and didn't seem phased by it.

    But oh I was still so embarassed!! I'm just grateful that the lady was thin, so that it wasn't mistaken as an insult on her weight. We told DS again not to say that to women (later) but he seemed very confused. For his little mind, asking a woman if they are having a baby is a nice question, and to be honest I've been getting it from strangers for months now, so I think he didnt quite understand why it was so rude.
  • Quote: We told DS again not to say that to women (later) but he seemed very confused. For his little mind, asking a woman if they are having a baby is a nice question, and to be honest I've been getting it from strangers for months now, so I think he didnt quite understand why it was so rude.
    Awwwww! Do you think he would understand better if you told him why it's considered rude?
  • We tried, but he still didn't get it. One because the one he asked wasn't overweight, but two, and this is so sweet, he truly doesn't understand that why being "fat" makes people feel uncomfortable. We try to stick with the idea that its not nice to comment on people's bodies (not making it about weight). But he still seems confused as to why anyone would dislike or be embarassed of their body. Its kind of eye opening as a parent to see the blank slate of a child, no judgement on other people's appearance. So DH and I are trying to be really careful not t oaccidently put it in his head that cetain bodies (like being fat) are somehow wrong or less attractive. Honestly I don't know how to approach it with him without doing that.

    A few days ago, I was exhausted after a short walk, and I said to my hubby jokingly but serious too, that I hate how fat I've gotten and I did say I hate looking like this. My son was confused why I hated how I looked. He said "but you are beautiful"...I swore right then and there to never comment on my body again in front of him. He truly could not understand why I equated fat with not liking how I look. I don't want to change that about him

    Anyway it was just an awkward thing to explain to him without telling him that people don't like to talk about their bodies. I did think about how sad it is that we arent all like kids, with no idea that we could ever be anything but beautiful.
  • Oh dear! Well, by her 70s, I'm sure she has developed enough wisdom to just laugh at it
  • *giggle* I'm sure the older woman realized he was asking because you were pregnant. That ship has probably sailed for her anyway Your son sounds precious, by the way! Good luck with trying to figure out the whole "don't comment on people's bodies" thing.
  • I bet she thought he was being adorable and a gentleman!
  • Thank you all! I'm grateful that he said it to someone that in no way "looked" pregnant! I also glad she wasn't mad about it.