When I was 15 I met this this guy my age on the Internet. We will call him Jason. He lived 11 hours away. We became very close and talked online/text every single day. We had a relationship of sorts where we did love each other but we still dated other people during high school. We were young so there was not really any serious talk of meeting. When we were in other relationships (oddly enough never at the same time) we did back off each other a bit but still continued to talk here and there. When I was 18 I got into a long term relationship. I had started to drift from Jason prior and when my relationship got pretty serious I stopped talking to Jason altogether. I still thought about him from time to time. Three years later I had broke up with my boyfriend and started to think about Jason a lot and I still remembered him number and sent him a text one night and he was so happy to hear from me. We started to text all day everyday like we used to and fell pretty hard in love all over again over the next 6 months. We made a plan to meet during the summer. Long story short I kind of blew him off. I got scared. I was so worried that I would not live up his expectation of me. I felt really insecure that all these feelings we had for each other wouldn't remain once we met in person. He was really upset. And we didnt really talk to each other the same for awhile. I felt horrible but I can't say I regretted my decision either. I knew I wanted to meet him but I just wasn't ready. Long story short, a few months after that he broke the news to me that he had just started seeing someone. And has been with her since (just over a year now). We have texted here and there. He still says its inevitable that we will meet eventually. I haven't talked to him in 2 months now, but we have gone this long without talking since I blew him off... My question is what should I do?? I can't stop thinking about him. Everytime I meet a new guy they just don't give me the same feeling that he does. I feel like things are supposed to happen for a reason. Maybe he is supposed to be with this girl right now, but we will have a second chance later? He's said to me that she's a nice girl but "she's not you". Did I really ruin everything?
Life's too short......I'd meet him, even if I wasn't everything he'd hoped for. Lunch and a drink is not wedding bells & every date doesn't have to be a platform of "Is this Mr. Right?"
Put your fears behind you and go for it. I know it is easier said than done, but you will feel a million times better once you take that first step. Are you still living apart?
I don't think you have blown it with him. Meet him
I think we can hype things up for ourselves. If you are comparing every relationship/guy to someone you've never met, they'll never win. I'd say try to meet up with this Jason of yours. Has he ever offered to come meet you? If not, that'd be sort of a yellow if not red flag that he isn't as he says he is.
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I think the answer to your questions is obvious....you can't stop thinking about "Jason", everytime you meet a new guy they just don't give you the same feeling he does...."Jason" says the girl he's been dating is a nice girl but, she isn't you. Its as plain as the nose on your face that you care for him & he cares for you! I think what you need to seriously ask yourself is, "am I ever going to be truly happy not meeting him and never knowing what might have been?" From all you've said, I think the answer is clear. It may not work out or it may turn out that "Jason" is the love of your life...but...you'll never know if you allow your insecurity to get the best of you.
I think we tend to become fearful of internet based relationships because we hear so many horror stories but, there are success stories out there as well. I have a success story. I met the love of my life online and went to meet him and I am very happy to report, it was one of the best things I have ever done!
Happiness is optional. You choose to be happy or not. "Jason" feels its inevitable the 2 of you will meet eventually, which tells me he has not given up. Life is too short to live with regrets!
All the best to you & "Jason"!
I think you should stop wasting time thinking about Jason if you have no intentions of meeting him. Meet him, see if there's chemistry and move on with your life. You're doing yourself (and your boyfriends) a disservice by holding on to someone else in this way.
I think we can hype things up for ourselves. If you are comparing every relationship/guy to someone you've never met, they'll never win. I'd say try to meet up with this Jason of yours. Has he ever offered to come meet you? If not, that'd be sort of a yellow if not red flag that he isn't as he says he is.
I am on the "girlfriend" side lol. I think is unfair. You had your opportunity and you didn't take it. Let him be happy with this other girl. If the relationship doesn't work and you guys still find each other, then go for it.
Jason is just an illusion of "what if", if you weren't ready after 6 years of talking to him what makes you ready now? The fact that he has another girl??
Please don't become that girl that chases the guy in a committed relationship, don't mess with his feelings either because you just know that you are not ready.
I think it is very easy to fall in love online. I've been there. Meet him and see if there is a spark there in person.
I also think that when a person reflects on an old flame, it is so easy to build them up to be something they are not. My first husband was that way. He had chased me all through school. He showed me like 5 books of poems and stuff he had written about me. Guess what, it wasn't *me* that he was in love with. It was this super romanticized, super perfect version of me. He had built me up to be this version of perfection and I am so far from perfect it is not even funny. When he really got to know *me*, who I am inside, it really made him angry and hostile and abusive.
Seriously... I would also be cautious of this. Make sure "Jason" is in love with you, not this idealized version of you that he has built up in his head, too.
I am all for two people falling in love, just be careful. Good luck!
Relationship advice? Odd situation...
