Very true! And I'm guessing you wouldn't feel the least bit bad about it afterwards! In fact, I imagine you'd tell all of your friends and wear it like a badge of honor!
Ok, so I acknowledge that there is a "George Cloony Exception" to this. But generally speaking, the more attractive the man, the less likely he is going to compromise on his standards - because he won't need to compromise. Its dating economics. The more attractive you are, the more you will be in demand. Its a sliding scale.
Not just physically attractive, but power attractive, financially attractive, etc.
Men who have power and money? They don't need looks - hello? Donald Trump? Any World leader? senators, etc?
Looks are the least of the equation. If George Clooney wasn't George Clooney, but just a man as attractive as George Clooney, a woman wouldn't sleep with him just because he's good looking. He needs to be George Clooney - good looking AND the status.
That's also why any woman/lover/wife who is shocked and surprised that her multi-million dollar earning guy is cheating on her is just stupid. When you have temptation thrown at you every single day - sex for FREE with gorgeous women, how many men would say no? For real!
Tiger Woods - how could anyone be surprised? How could his wife be surprised? He got sloppy about it because power goes to the head (Hello Presidential hopeful Edwards and before that presidential hopeful Hart).
Not just physically attractive, but power attractive, financially attractive, etc.
Men who have power and money? They don't need looks - hello? Donald Trump? Any World leader? senators, etc?
Looks are the least of the equation. If George Clooney wasn't George Clooney, but just a man as attractive as George Clooney, a woman wouldn't sleep with him just because he's good looking. He needs to be George Clooney - good looking AND the status.
That's also why any woman/lover/wife who is shocked and surprised that her multi-million dollar earning guy is cheating on her is just stupid. When you have temptation thrown at you every single day - sex for FREE with gorgeous women, how many men would say no? For real!
Tiger Woods - how could anyone be surprised? How could his wife be surprised? He got sloppy about it because power goes to the head (Hello Presidential hopeful Edwards and before that presidential hopeful Hart).
This is way off topic, but it's interesting.
You make some good points. Power and money certainly come into play there and make up for one's shortage of attractiveness, and enhance the image of people who are already attractive. I know that Cloony's attractiveness is certainly enhanced by his fame and wealth, but I suspect that he'd still be VERY popular with the ladies even if he had no fame and an average amount of money.
I think the other ladies are upset because you are not "one of them" anymore and they cannot relate to your mind set. You have struck out on your own to become a different person then the "pack" Also.... you have accomplished what they secretly probably want to do and they are jealous.... so they snipe in both instances. People want people to fail so that they will be back to the pack mentallity and then noone stands out and noone is different and BETTER than the rest. Don't fall prey to them. YOU are so strong and wonderful. You have belief in yourself and they CANNOT Sway that! Ingore their words and actions.
I think the other ladies are upset because you are not "one of them" anymore and they cannot relate to your mind set. You have struck out on your own to become a different person then the "pack" Also.... you have accomplished what they secretly probably want to do and they are jealous.... so they snipe in both instances. People want people to fail so that they will be back to the pack mentallity and then noone stands out and noone is different and BETTER than the rest. Don't fall prey to them. YOU are so strong and wonderful. You have belief in yourself and they CANNOT Sway that! Ingore their words and actions.
This is so true but it doesn't make the person happy. (BTW, I love having your point of view on this forum, Joefla. )
My sister-in-law is one of the prettiest girls I ever met. But her low self esteem and smothering mother pretty much resulted in her marrying the first guy who asked her out. She could have had any guy in the world and she settled for someone not worthy of her, looks or otherwise. It makes me sad, she doesn't see herself the way others do.
When we were younger, I was "jealous" of her. I wanted to look like her, I wanted to be as tall and thin, I wanted to wear slinky dresses without any sign of skin underneath.
But now, being married to her brother, I might not be as pretty or as thin but I am treated like a queen by him! And I wouldn't give up my looks or weight to trade any of that.
My in-laws have very traditional roles in their family so I am the literal outcast. Big mouth and a big body. They think their son married down, esp when I gained more weight and I don't do what he says (in their family, the men are the boss). My husband and I couldn't be happier!
Sorry to go O/T. But people make so much about looks, which I think matter to a point that we should all try to be healthier (thank God all of us here are trying!!) but in the end, looks don't really mean much.
And.....if George Clooney came knocking on my door, I think my husband *might* make one exception in our marriage for me! I don't know if that makes me happy or sad but I'll worry about that in the morning!
Thanks Elvislover.
Are you the outcast with your in-laws mostly because you are outspoken and not submissive, or because of your size? I mean, its one thing if they don't get along with you because you differ in your ideas of what women's roles in family are, but to think less of you because ... well, there is more of you... is pretty despicable of them. How does your husband handle that with them? Does he put them in their place, or does he apologize for them? I imagine that family get-togethers might get a bit awkward, to say the least!
P.S. I just realized that this thread has been completely hijacked - due in large part to me. Sorry!
Are you the outcast with your in-laws mostly because you are outspoken and not submissive, or because of your size? I mean, its one thing if they don't get along with you because you differ in your ideas of what women's roles in family are, but to think less of you because ... well, there is more of you... is pretty despicable of them. How does your husband handle that with them? Does he put them in their place, or does he apologize for them? I imagine that family get-togethers might get a bit awkward, to say the least!
P.S. I just realized that this thread has been completely hijacked - due in large part to me. Sorry!
I think it's a little bit of both, they loved me until I got engaged to their son. He's the "good" boy of the family and I honestly don't think his mother ever wanted him to move out. The family picture from our wedding that his parents have in their living room doesn't have me in it. I was the bride!! My parents have our family picture too except my husband IS in it, he's part of our family now!! His mother bought me 2x t-shirts as "gifts" way back when I could wear a large/XL, I assume to let me know I was getting bigger. The last time I saw them was Thanksgiving and I was down about 60lbs, not one word from her and that's ok. It's really none of her business.
My husband is amazing, I told him waaaaaay back when we getting married that it was "me" or "them". He chose me and I am so happy about that. His mother does bully him sometimes to get information (she's very passive aggressive and needy and thinks she has a right in our marriage, bug off!) but once I get wind of it, I reign him back in! He's never apologized for them per se (which I don't think he should, he can't control them) but he's gone to bat for me with them or pulled his dad aside to say "wtf about ma". So then his dad goes back and puts the mother in line.
She has done lots of things over the years, bought an off white dress for my wedding (I made her bring it back), told me not to have babies too early as she was too young to be a grandmother, told us to then start a family because she wanted to be a grandmother, lots of things that no normal person would ever do. Family get-togethers are awkward but I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and do more listening and watching, that makes my MIL more wild than anything. She can't use anything I say to cry to anyone lol.
We moved a state away so now it's about an hour drive to get to our house. She said I treat her like a guest everytime she's at my house. Um, what are you? Needless to say, the visits are far and few between and that's how I like it. My husband sees them more since he goes to ball games and stuff with his dad year round.
My in-laws have very traditional roles in their family so I am the literal outcast. Big mouth and a big body. They think their son married down, esp when I gained more weight and I don't do what he says (in their family, the men are the boss). My husband and I couldn't be happier!
I think we're twins and we might have the same inlaws. My father in law does not like me at all for both those reasons, and while most of the rest of the family is fairly nice, I do hear some asides from time to time that remind me that they have a definite weight bias, and they think that a woman's place is in the kitchen and quiet. The person I get along best with is my FIL's twin brother's wife. She actually just lost about 150 pounds, and she's never kept her mouth shut. I've actually known her longer than my bf! Our friendship doesn't win me points either.
Not to mention I order my FIL out of the kitchen when he decides to straw boss my cooking.
Edited to add: My mother in law is the sweetest, kindest woman in the world. Why she chose to put up with being treated like a second class citizen in her own home is beyond me, but I suppose if she hadn't, I wouldn't have my man.
My Mother in law didn't like me either. Well, my husband said she "did" like me (as the people she didn't like, she treated like crap. I've seen it, and Ok, I'm in the "she likes me camp", but I was NOT the woman she wanted to marry her son.)
What she wanted for her son? Someone to look pretty on his arm and to keep a good home. If she was well-educated, that was good too. She HATED that I was fat. like HATED it.
And yes, she would cut out pictures with me in it. Take photos of her and my husband, her and the kids, but never me... but then would say something like, "you're the daughter I never had." I called her on that one and told her to stop it.
Now that I'm thinner, she likes me more. It was the looks. She's even said it, "now my son has a pretty wife." Um... yah... like a husband doesn't want more from a wife than a body to have sex with and a housekeeper to keep his house clean? No wonder she is thrice divorced. (and she did the leaving - all three times).
)
