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Old 03-01-2013, 12:51 PM   #1  
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Default Having the Life You Want

I've recently had a revelation. At the ripe old age of 23 (HA) I am finally starting to see that I need to make some decisions in my life about how and where I want to end up. This includes everything from going back to school (and not messing around this time) for something I love, paying off the little bit of debt I have, and in general get to the point where I can live comfortably and be able to work and do the things I love in my free time.

This means, for now, balls to the wall.

I currently am living in the largest city on the west side of Colorado. It seems like a bumpkin kind of place, and I know I would prefer to be on the other side, however, this is where my boyfriend's job is, and he loves it. Place isn't so much a factor for me right now (after all, I AM finally in the state I want to be in), but it could definitely be an issue in the future. I live with my boyfriend who has a job after a stint of unemployment before we moved and who currently makes most of the money. I finally got a job after leaving my old one and make less, but prefer not having to deal with jerks in retail. I work from about 5pm to 2am.

This will afford me the morning times to do two things. One thing is get another job so I can help out more with the house bills (we are scraping by) and also so I can go back to school. I am currently attempting to get my second job, and the boyfriend has talked about a second job as well, but I haven't seen much action in the way of it. I'm really trying to focus on myself here, however, which I find difficult to balance in my relationships for some annoying reason.

Anyway, I'm potentially looking at 2 jobs, full time school, more debt through loan if I can't save up in time (while trying to pay off the $3500 I owe previously from school and buying a bed), and balancing the ever encompassing world that is relationships, weight loss, and being able to go out and actually do things that make me not go crazy.

So, my main question/point is, how? Has anyone here done this and how have you gone about doing it. I won't lie, I am totally intimidated by the amount of work I want to get done in order to start living a life that doesn't go from pay check to pay check, but I'm willing to do it. I want to reach that goal. Being independent and comfortable has been my first and foremost dream for some time now. I'm not quite there yet (my dad pays my phone bill and I feel like I do HAVE to rely on my bf for covering the rent costs because I don't pull in enough money yet), but I want to be. I'm SO ready to be there. But I know I have to put in the work first.
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Old 03-01-2013, 03:03 PM   #2  
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My advice is to plan it out.

First, look at how much you're going to need to make to cover your expenses that you share with your boyfriend. Once you have that budget, you now know how much you need to "live".

Next, you figure out which programs you can attend that will give you the diploma that you need to work in a job that you like. Figure out the semester cost, incidentals like books and other fees. Then figure out what loans you can get and how much you have to save in order to do it.

Then, you have to plan it out -- application, admissions, all the timelines that you need to meet (I need X amount of $$$ by this date for this thing).

Plan it out in detail. Print out calendars and hang them around your house so you see visually what's coming up and measure yourself against it. Put the money in a savings account or a cookie jar and don't touch it.

Then, when you are admitted, you need to plan your day -- you work from this time to this time, you study from here to here, you socialize on Saturday nights.

You will have to sacrifice. You won't be able to socialize as much if you are working two jobs and going to school full time. You will have to trust that your relationship with your boyfriend is on a good track because you will have to limit it.

The question, fundamentally is how hard are you willing to work? Because it will take work. You will have to be strong. And you will have to demand that others around you respect your wishes and desires to do something better for yourself.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:15 PM   #3  
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I suggest you read the book The Defining Decade by Meg Jay.

I think you're in a very dangerous position depending on your father and boyfriend for financial support, both in terms of your financial security and the strain on those relationships. I think you need to first be able to completely support yourself before you tackle going back to school and taking on more debt. After that I agree with Rana that you just need to chart out your steps carefully. You probably can't make all the changes at once so decide on the order that makes the most sense.

You are right that it is going to take major work to create the life you want - but there's no way around it! Best of luck and I love that you're trying to be intentional.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:44 PM   #4  
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Are there any jobs you would qualify for that would give you tuition reimbursement so you wouldn't need to take out loans?

Many larger companies, even call center jobs for them, allow for tuition reimbursement.
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Old 03-01-2013, 04:46 PM   #5  
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Here's my two cents:

I went to college while living on my own. I worked full time. It sucked. I had no social life. But, I was completely independent. I did not rely on anyone for financial help.
Set your priorities. What's more important? School, work, or relationships? School is intense but relatively short. Give it your all! Plan for everything, including emergencies. Get rid of any credit cards and debt. Only take student loans for what you need.
Good luck!
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Old 03-01-2013, 06:20 PM   #6  
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As an almost 39-year-old I'm going to give you a piece of advice. To get something worth having, sometimes (if not always) it takes a lot of sacrifice. This will happen many times in your life, and not just now, so good to learn this lesson early.

It's easier to sacrifice things now when you are young. It becomes harder - not impossible - but way harder when you get older.

Like the poster above me said, school is intense but short-term. Everything else in your life like friends and bf and social life will ALWAYS fall into place, there are really endless opportunities for those sorts of things.

But there are limited opportunities for your education and occupation, so whenever an opportunity comes up for you, TAKE IT.

As for your dad paying your phone bill and bf paying the rent, that's fine for now. But you MUST have a backup plan in case they pull out. There is nothing worse than being left high and dry because you trusted someone else to be responsible for your financial obligations.

Where there's a will, there's a way. And it sounds like you have made your decision, it's just a logistics issue now for you. Good luck!
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Old 03-01-2013, 06:22 PM   #7  
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Default Plan Plan Plan

I agree, a plan will help. Set goals, short term and long term. Make sure your goals are resonable and that you can make them. Stick to your plan, and you will shine!
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Old 03-01-2013, 06:47 PM   #8  
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I was completely (financially) irresponsible when I was younger, and it bit me. I went through a divorce 4 years ago. I had to work two jobs for two years to pay off the debt from that...and I struggled, but it was worth it! I then became independent and was able to live alone rather than with roommates, it was a wonderful feeling! Then I decided to go back to school.

If I had tried to work two jobs, stress about current bills while paying off debt, and try to go to school all at the same time I would have cracked. It took me 4 years to get to this point, but I'm glad I focused on one issue at a time and gave it my everything!
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