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Help me get over this crush...

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Old 02-12-2013, 09:31 AM   #1
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Default Help me get over this crush...

I feel like a silly school girl - I am 32 years old and have a enormous crush on a guy I've beome friends with over the past few months. I just want to stop being obsessed with him! THis has never happened to me. I don't think he's interested - how do I move on?
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:01 AM   #2
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Ask him out - you may be pleasantly surprised. If not,
then at least you know where you stand & go from there
Good luck
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:17 AM   #3
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Yeah! How do you know if hes not interested unless you ask him out!

Besides, crushes are kind of fun. I love the huge endorphin rush you get when you see them, its hard to get that feeling naturally

If he wants to go out with you then AWESOME, if not, then clearly he's not worth crushing over!

Good Luck!!
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:39 PM   #4
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I agree crushes are a lot of fun. I am too shy to ask him out, but I would have a couple drinks, build up my courage and tell him I liked him and see what he says....good luck!!
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:52 PM   #5
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Believe me when I tell you that us guys have crushes too and its just as hard, if not harder on us. He might be feeling the same way and might think you're not interested and if neither of you makes a move, its just a wasted opportunity. Go for it. The worst that could happen is that he says no, in which cases you are exactly where you're at now.
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:56 PM   #6
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I had a crush on a guy I worked with for a good while. I would see him when I would walk into the building. I wanted to talk to him but I was soooo shy back then. I dont know what came over me, but one day I walked in and introduced myself. We have been together for 13 years and have been married 7 1/2 years. I vote for asking him out....you never know until you try .
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:04 AM   #7
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Oh you guys are so supportive and sweet. Here's the thing - we are both in a social group that I am very much involved in and so is he. So I don't want to make things weird. Sometimes I think he may be interested - but other times he doesn't always follow through on chances to hang (like we talkeda bout cooking together sometime but it never came to be or going to a farmers market together which was his idea). I know he really really likes me as a person ... but does he like me like that? I don't know and I guess I'm scared to embarrass myself and find out. BUt you are right - I need to either embrace and enjoy the crush - OR to get over it - just be blunt and find out. Until I'm rejected I probably won't be able to move on. I hate ot say this - but we get along and enjoy each other's company so much - I do feel like it would be a no brainer that we would be together if I was prettier (i.e. not fat). One of these days I will be brave and bold ....
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Old 02-14-2013, 09:28 AM   #8
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Ask him out. I had a crush on a guy for years and chickened out..we lost touch and then this year we met up again and he got married. You snooze you lose.
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Old 02-14-2013, 04:09 PM   #9
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Also even if he is not interested in the long run then you will have no regrets of never telling him.

I had a crush on this guy for AGES (almost 2 years) where the flirting was ongoing and on-and-off. Well I got it clear very late, lost lots of time in self-pity and then when I found out he only saw me as a friend... well I was sad, but at the same time it was so liberating! At least I could open my eyes and see around! Plus 2 months later I met my current bf and I am happier ever since.
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Old 02-14-2013, 04:15 PM   #10
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If u really want to get over him picture him doing gross stuff every time u look at him. Or ask him questions to things u don't really want to know, maybe one of his answers will drive u away. Lol just being silly. Why get over the crush I miss crushing
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:26 PM   #11
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I would pick back up on the cooking or going to the farmer's market ideas. Go as friends, if that goes well then ask him to do something else, like a night out. You will learn if he has an interest in being more than friends.
DO NOT use "if I were prettier" as an excuse to not do this!! He obviously likes your company if HE suggested cooking together...maybe he needs you to put forth the follow through.
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Old 02-14-2013, 11:01 PM   #12
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The cooking was my idea - the farmer's market his! I shall try to follow up on these things and at some point I think I just need to come clean to move on.
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Old 02-18-2013, 04:14 PM   #13
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Hey, there's nothing to be embarrased about! Having crushes is totally normal... and fun! Own it If you don't tell him, and decide just to appreciate the awesomeness that is cool (and if you're in a committed relationship, mandatory! We're all human, we all feel attracted to various people at various times - often because they posess a quality we'd like for ourselves... but I digress ). And if you do decide to tell him, that's cool, there is zero shame in being attracted to someone! If he's interested, that's great, and if he's not, that's ok too, it's not because there's anything wrong with what you do/say/wear/look like/smell/enjoy doing... It just needs to "click" for both people involved, and if it doesn't for him, that's normal too, just continue to own it - you're not doing anything wrong! Crushes will come and go and they're fun, can be an opportunity for self-reflection (the "liking in others what you want in yourself" thing), and whether you tell anyone about them or not, and whether they're reciprocated or not... They're still pretty groovy
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Old 02-19-2013, 12:54 AM   #14
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I'd agree with the people arguing for making a move/telling him. This is likely different for different people, but it's nearly impossible for me to move on unless I come right out and tell the person how I feel. Otherwise my brain stays in "what if" hyperdrive.
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Old 02-20-2013, 02:10 PM   #15
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well tonight we are carpooling to a social event together. Maybe I'll be brave.
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