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Help, Prayers, and Advice Wanted!

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Old 02-02-2013, 12:41 PM   #1
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Default Help, Prayers, and Advice Wanted!

Okay, so, I've known my best friend for 2 years and he's always been the guy who would go great lengths to make sure that someone is okay. He helped me when I was depressed and having really awful thoughts about my life and myself, and I've always sworn that I would stand by his side through whatever came his way. Well, last september, his mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and it spread to her liver and killed her within a month.

Since then, he hasn't been the same and I always thought it was just PTSD or depression just from his mom's death. Well, last night, I found out that he's started having suicidal thoughts and really wants to kill himself. He also has been cutting himself all over his body since the beginning of December. He really wants out, guys.

I don't know what to do or say to him to make him feel better and more alive. I've told my entire family to pray for him and to keep him in their thoughts, but there has to be more, right?

So, I'm asking, from the bottom of my heart, that if anyone has any advice or knows of anything that might help, could you please share that with me. And, for those who pray, could you please just keep him in your prayers (you can PM me if you'd like a specific name)? I'd really appreciate it.
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:55 PM   #2
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This is a job for a professional. Speak to him as a friend, let him know that you will be by his side as he goes to speak to someone, provide suicide hotline numbers.

From http://www.stopasuicide.org/actdecision.aspx


1. Do take it seriously. 70% of all people who commit suicide give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
Do be willing to listen. Even if professional help is needed, your loved one will be more willing to seek help if you have listened to him or her.

2. Care

Do voice your concern. Take the initiative to ask what is troubling your loved one, and attempt to overcome any reluctance on their part to talk about it.

Let the person know you care and understand. Reassure them that they are not alone. Explain that even if it seems hard to believe right now, suicidal feelings – although powerful – are only temporary, and that the usual cause (depression) can be treated.

Ask if the person has a specific plan. Ask if a suicide plan exists, and if so, how far has he or she gone in carrying it out? (Please note: asking about suicide does not cause a person to think about – or commit – suicide. This is a myth!)

3. Treatment

Do get professional help immediately.

If the person seems unwilling to accept treatment...
Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or a local emergency room for resources and advice.


If the person seems willing to accept treatment, do one of the following…

Bring him or her to a local emergency room or community mental health center. Your friend will be more likely to seek help if you accompany him or her.
Contact his or her primary care physician or mental health provider.

And if all else fails... call 9-1-1.
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Last edited by ImImportant : 02-02-2013 at 12:58 PM.
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:08 PM   #3
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^ Everything posted above.

I speak from personal experience having lost my Mom 6 years ago to cancer and going through unbearable PTSD that eventually landed me in the ER. The anxiety and grief is beyond words. My son was the only thing that kept me somewhat grounded otherwise I'd probably be gone.

He needs professional help immediately. I can't even begin to tell you how badly he's suffering inside. My heart goes out to him.
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Old 02-02-2013, 05:09 PM   #4
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you can have him commited for up to 72hrs as a threat/danger to himself n he will b evaluated n see what treatment is needed!
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Old 02-02-2013, 05:30 PM   #5
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He must have professional help immediately.
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Old 02-02-2013, 07:07 PM   #6
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I agree with he needs professional help right away.
Sometimes being a good friend is telling someone what they don't want to here but need to here. A psych eval is in order.
I did not notice where you live in the US unfortunately they do not treat Mental Illness the same as Medical and will release patients before they are truly ready,hopefully this will not be the case.Treatment for Mental Illiness is not reimbursed the same way unfortunately and hospitals will not keep them if they are not somehow compensated.
Hope you are able to get him the help that he needs.
Good Luck,Roo2
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:36 AM   #7
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I agree with all of above. He needs help from someone professional. He at least needs grief counseling.
I think it is great that you care about him so much and are sticking by him when he needs a friend the most. A lot of people don't know what to do so they drift away which makes it worse for the person who is hurting so badly.
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Old 02-03-2013, 01:48 PM   #8
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If he is "cutting" you MAY be able to get him committed unvoluntarily for being a threat to himself.

I would see if he would be willing to go see someone, with you if he needs the support.

I'm really sorry you are watching him suffer like this. I can only imagine how hard this is for him, and you as well.
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:40 PM   #9
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I have a friend who wants to kill herself. She won't seek professional help. I tried to contact her doctor myself- I just wanted to tell him what was going on- and he refused to speak to me. That baffled me- I didn't want him to tell me anything about her, I wanted to tell HIM something about her and he wouldn't speak to me. The only thing I've been able to do is listen. A lot of times a suicidal person feels very isolated- most people don't want to hear that someone is suicidal and will either change the subject or try to gloss it over. You have to be willing to listen, to take it seriously, to NOT change the subject until your friend wants to talk about something else, and to ask questions.
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:28 PM   #10
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EagleRiverDee. Sometimes when Alzheimers patients are resistant to doctor visits, their caregivers will ask the patient to accompany them on a visit. "I haven't been feeling well..."
By reframing it as the caregivers need a wall sometimes comes down. Would she be willing to help you? Go to a support group?
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:07 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImImportant View Post
EagleRiverDee. Sometimes when Alzheimers patients are resistant to doctor visits, their caregivers will ask the patient to accompany them on a visit. "I haven't been feeling well..."
By reframing it as the caregivers need a wall sometimes comes down. Would she be willing to help you? Go to a support group?
Hm. That's creative...I will have to think on that. Thanks!
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