[healthyangie]

I'll be a bit straightforward in my response here ...

I do not think a SO or DH should EVER, EVER, EVER insult, insinuate, or mention the need to lose weight. Either jokingly or not. When you are in a serious relationship it is about love, respect, and supporting without interferring or judging. I also don't believe anyone should ever lose weight for anyone but themselves, it should be their decision for their reasons - not because someone has shaken a proverbial finger at them ...

Some day, we will all be old and wrinkly - our bodies, whether fat or thin, are going to look pretty crappy naked. I'd rather be with someone who will still love me regardless of how the shell looks..

Just my opinion ...

[Arctic Mama]

Originally Posted by chubbiegurl

I dated a guy many years ago that would hug me and then say maybe u need to lose a few pounds. One time he bought me a nice new pair of nike running shoes so I would start running. I didn't but liked the shoes. I stayed around 118 the whole 3 years I was with him. Anyway my hubby has never made a remark about my weight. I guess I finally felt comfortable enough to gain, figuring it didn't matter to him and who else do I have to impress. Today we were discussing it and I asked if it did bother him. He did not reply in a hurtful way but did say he noticed my weight gain, and would prefer me thinner. Jokingly I told him he should have been more like my ex, that way I would have not gained. He asked if he should have just called me a heffer or what I meant. Jokingly again I told him he could have just oinked and snorted at me. I know I wouldn't have appreciated that, and like he says I never forget anything. But I do think maybe a subtle comment from him would have been motivation for me.*
Would anyone like their significant other to let them know when they are gaining a bit? Is it just rude or too much to hear it from your love. I know it may be superficial, but I do want to be physically attracted to my husband and I want the same for him.*

This is just the way it works in our home -

I really try not to make my husband involved in any accountability for my weight - it's not fair to the poor guy to out him in the middle of a potential minefield when he's gone so far out of his way to avoid it! He is an expert at avoiding all discussion of my body in any way that might be construed as negative, which I very much appreciate. He never commented, even when I was morbidly obese. Only compliments, and only very safe ones.

Smart man

[Arctic Mama]

Originally Posted by ChickieChicks

We've been married for 8.5 years, and we are at the point where even if I begged him to tell me what he really thought about how I look, weight , etc.....he would rather have a rabid wolf chew off his arm.

But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that I am more attractive at a healthy weight, and I subsequently take more care to look nice and carry myself with more confidence.

Haha! Yes, this entirely.

[Arctic Mama]

Originally Posted by healthyangie

I'll be a bit straightforward in my response here ...

I do not think a SO or DH should EVER, EVER, EVER insult, insinuate, or mention the need to lose weight. Either jokingly or not. When you are in a serious relationship it is about love, respect, and supporting without interferring or judging. I also don't believe anyone should ever lose weight for anyone but themselves, it should be their decision for their reasons - not because someone has shaken a proverbial finger at them ...

Some day, we will all be old and wrinkly - our bodies, whether fat or thin, are going to look pretty crappy naked. I'd rather be with someone who will still love me regardless of how the shell looks..

Just my opinion ...

Wise words here!

[elvislover324]

Originally Posted by healthyangie

I'll be a bit straightforward in my response here ...

I do not think a SO or DH should EVER, EVER, EVER insult, insinuate, or mention the need to lose weight. Either jokingly or not. When you are in a serious relationship it is about love, respect, and supporting without interferring or judging. I also don't believe anyone should ever lose weight for anyone but themselves, it should be their decision for their reasons - not because someone has shaken a proverbial finger at them ...

Some day, we will all be old and wrinkly - our bodies, whether fat or thin, are going to look pretty crappy naked. I'd rather be with someone who will still love me regardless of how the shell looks..

Just my opinion ...

I agree whole-heartedly with this reply. My husband hugged me hard when I was heavy, he hugs me just as hard now except he can get his arms around me much easier now!