Lol this is all so confusing. You all tell me its okay to reach out to him, mom tells me to leave it alone entirely and maybe instead of calling him up, maybe "happen" upon him at the bar again if he doesn't call and just take things super casually.

She also reminded me of another thing: it's only Tuesday. He works, he has a life outside of the bar and me... and I do too. Maybe I should just let life take its course and if he wants to see me, he will. Maybe?

Not a bad idea at all, just go for it. Life is too short.

You've seen him randomly THREE times - I think fate is trying to tell you something!

I will say, the one thing I wonder about is -- why is he always at this bar??

Every bar has its set of regulars; he's one of them, I guess, haha. Although I'm not out there every weekend; you could ask me the same thing cause any time I go out to the bar I always go to that one. It's a really chill place, lots of people from all different walks of life and backgrounds. It doesn't cater to a certain crowd of people. Anytime I've been in there I always feel comfortable and accepted; maybe it's the same for him. *shrug*

Guess who just got a text and is planning a date? XD XD XD all that worrying for nothing!

I got into this thread late. My advice was going to be to give it until Thursday and then invite him for coffee - same as many others.

Now my advice (as coming from someone old enough to be your mom's way older sister) is to just be yourself and be just a bit cautious. When I was younger we all did the same as you describe. There were a couple bars / clubs where we hung out. It's an easy way to meet people but it's also an environment that can be a bit risky. Just keep both eyes wide open and use your good sense. Take it easy, get to know each other, and if all dates are just hanging at the bar - rethink things.

I hope you have a wonderful time.

Lin

Wooo glad he texted you again! Good luck and have fun

So tonight we're going for dinner/drinks at, after a good Google search cause I'd never been to the place he suggested, a restaurant that looks pretty classy to me. I always feel like if a restaurant has wine glasses on the table then it's classy/on the fancier side, lmao. (I'm so not a wine & dine kind of girl, but I sure won't turn down someone that wants to do that!) I'm pretty excited about it. Classy is a really great way to describe him; he's got great taste and I can tell he's very educated and smart and he's a talker, which is great for me because I suck at starting conversations with people, haha. He's super interesting, too. I'm so excited!!!

AND I got a great dress on the hold rack at work to wow him with! EXCITEMENT.

AND I just checked out the menu and it's Mediterranean cuisine, and according to him it's this place where you can order a bunch of appetizer-portioned dishes and share them, which sounds great for someone like me who's on a "diet" and can't afford, calorie wise, to eat a bunch of large portions anyway. And he actually suggested this after I reminded him that I was still in the process of losing weight, so I think it's great that he was actually taking my diet needs into consideration. He's winning in my book so far, hahaha.

Great! Enjoy Your evening!

Good luck tonight! I can't wait to see how it goes! =D

Congrats on the progress! I'm sure everything will go smooth and he sounds very considerate so far.

Regarding guys at the bar, if he is military, this is extremely common. It's just a "Hey, lets go grab a beer or two" thing. There was a pub that many of the guys in my husband's squadron were always at. Not everyone took part but many did and most didn't get fall down drunk. Just the perspective from the wife of former military.

Excellent, it all sounds wonderful - have a great time!

Wooooo! Have a great time! Then come tell us all about it!

Good luck. Have fun! Can't wait to hear about it.

Good luck! and if it all works out well it wasn't "worrying for nothing" Now, we expect a full report when you get done...