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Blind First Date and I'm Overweight!

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Old 12-06-2012, 12:39 AM   #16
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I agree with those who say that your weight is the least of your concerns about this setup. The whole thing sounds very risky and dangerous. This is not a "blind date." A blind date is meeting for dinner, etc.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:05 AM   #17
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I met a few people that I talked with for a long time over the internet ... way back before WWW, in fact, so through IRC. I never had any problems and they were all long distance so this meant stopovers, either in their homes, mine or in one case in an hotel in London (for which he paid).

None of them expected me to *put out* but it happens that one relationship had become so intense over the internet that this was a very natural progression, which I do not regret.

I met my now spouse over the internet, too. She is gorgeous, tall and slim and much younger and we are devoted. Neither my age nor chubbiness meant a thing to her.

I love the internet if only for the fact you can correspond on a much deeper level than face to face because you are not held back by body language or cultural differences, not swayed by stereotyping or pre-conditioning. One could say this is a bad thing because you ignore warning signals but no matter how good someone is they will slip up and you will get vibes. (this does not apply to children, of course, who are much more vulnerable). By and large though, if you speak with people long enough you do get a really good impression of who they are.

One perhaps poignant relationship I had as a result of the internet was with a wonderful guy who I met on IRC. We spoke for months and had a lot of fun and meeting up was discussed. To be honest it was me who suggested it and he agreed and invited me to stay with him at his home. This was the first time I ever met anyone from the internet and I was nervous but confident. We had prgressed to speaking on the telephone, by the way. He told me the night before I was to drive to his city that he was in a wheelchair and suffering from MS. He did not control his body that well and it was becoming progressively worse. It made no difference to me anyway. When we met I saw neither his wheelchair, nor his motor difficulties, I just saw the wonderful man with whom I had shared such a lot. We had a great, full, funny and wonderful relationship for some months and then a rather lovely young lady (who I forgive because she made him very happy for as long as he lived) stole him from me!

I know there are some horror stories out there but my own experiences were positive and rewarding and in all cases I had a great deal of internet contact, and telephone contact, with anyone I met.

So I wish you a happy, postive and fulfilling experience and adventure.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:06 AM   #18
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I dunno... some men LIKE bigger girls. I still have men hitting on me when I dress up nice.
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:02 AM   #19
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First off.. i think you look like a good catch..so i wouldnt be worried about how you look...

Secondly... I agree with everyone else..A dinner out AND hotel??? Seems like he is fishing.. Either he is a super romantic guy who is jumping in way too fast because he is desperate...OR...He is planning dinner and a hotel because he is only looking for one thing.. Point blank: A man who respects himself and respects women..would wait.. He would wait for the right time and not rush anything. He would get to know you and have gone on several dates...

3RD...

I have been on many a blind date off of a local website.. I have met some really awesome guys with awesome intentions..but i have also been out with and dated some guys who were not as they seem.. Let me give you an example:

This one guy i met off a website...We talked on the phone,facebook and msn'd online. We wrote emails back and forth.. His profile said that his job was a chef and he was average looking and he enjoyed long walks and music and romancing the women of his dreams..Sounds nice right???

Well.. i met him..and he was not who he said.. The first date he seemed...different.. We did something simple..we went for a swim..but he was not average..he was morbidly obese..despite his picture.. His picture was taken several years ago when he was thin and young looking.. Turns out: He smoked..he was an alcoholic and he did drugs..and im not talking about your average pott...Im talking heavier drugs then that.. He was an addict..a walking drunk..It also turned out that he wasnt a chef at all..in fact he didnt work..he was on disability because he was diagnoed with fibromyalgia along with other mental issues that he was using medications for...Yes.. after a couple dates he did woo me with chocolate, massage and home cooked dinner.. but after that.. i found him asking me for money for groceries and i even had to lend him money to do his laundry because he wasted his money on movies and drugs...

So yes.. i was stupid..I was stupid to go beyond a first coffee/swimming date...but i believed everything he had said to me through email and facebook and texting.. In the end he turned out to be an abusive man..

My point is: You cant take everyone at face value right away. It takes time to know someone.. Dont put yourself in a dangerous situation where someone can take advantage of you..or worse...hurt you... You need to protect yourself first..and if he has any respect for you..he will understand and keep the date to a casual setting out where other people are around you in public..and you do this until you feel comfortable with making it more private..

BTW...i met my husband on a dating website and we are now married and have a daughter..not all guys are bad..just be careful
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:58 AM   #20
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Have him bring an original copy of a test showing negative STI results and be safe and let someone know where you are and all that. Have fun and don't worry about your weight, he knows you are you and you have been honest and upfront about it.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:17 PM   #21
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Is anyone else a little worried she never checked back in?
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:30 PM   #22
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I just hope you Skype with this guy... I've watching catfish lately and there are some pretty sick people out there.

Good luck and let us know what happened!

Btw, you look average size to me, I don't see the problem at all.
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:32 PM   #23
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I didn't think it was til the weekend. It's only Thursday!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:09 PM   #24
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Yeah it's this weekend. Saturday, to be exact!

My goodness, ya'll are scaring me! But you definitely make a lot of sense. I honestly do have a good feeling about him and I promise I'll be safe. We send photos and videos back and forth all the time. He's kind of a facebook junkie, so he's always putting up photos of himself and his friends.

I will let you know how it goes!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:15 PM   #25
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A man who is paying for your hotel on a 1st date is a man who is expecting sex in return. I'm not sure what you want (and that is YOUR business) but do keep that in mind before you decide to go because sometimes we always see the best in a situation and not necessarily other things.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:18 PM   #26
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Have you ever met an Internet stranger/any guy in general and had sex right off the bat before? It's fun but gets complicated with feelings and whatnot. Are you OK with the idea of it possibly being a one-off thing?
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:21 PM   #27
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can I ask WHY it has to be a hotel thing? Is he coming from far? Just curious...because I, too, think that your weight won't be an issue. Some men DO like extra meat! My husband is also very hot...he's 10 years older than me (he will be 52 next month) but he looks probably 10 years younger than he is and is VERY muscular, tattooed, shaved head, etc...many women have tried and some probably still do, but he's got eyes only for me! I won't lie, I am only considered 1 pound overweight, but the weight where I'm comfortable and look the best is about 15 pounds lighter, so I can't understand that he is always wanting to touch me and stuff...my hang-ups obviously are not his! But he does say that he doesn't like 'skinny' women...he likes curves, and he likes thicker thighs. He absolutely cannot stand skinny legs! So yes, I'm sure he just really likes you...but like everyone else is saying just be aware. And have fun!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:33 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
Have you ever met an Internet stranger/any guy in general and had sex right off the bat before? It's fun but gets complicated with feelings and whatnot. Are you OK with the idea of it possibly being a one-off thing?
Well obviously I'm not going into it thinking it's going to be a one night thing, but if that's what happens, then so be it. I just want to have fun

I've done it just once before.. I don't regret it.

I'm going up from out of town. He only lives 45 minutes away, but it's in a resort style hotel. So it should be a lot of fun.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:40 PM   #29
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Going by the pictures you shared I don't think there is any possibility of him being disappointed by you I hope it goes well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:43 PM   #30
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I agree with everyone, be careful and it might be prudent not to stay overnight anywhere with him. Unless you were to go out dine,movies etc. followed up at sitting in a 24hr place like Sharis or a restaurant that never closes. That way you get a lot of time together but it isn't too casual, too soon.jmho. Be prepared in case he is more 'look sensitive' than he seems and in case 'he looks nothing like his pic either'.
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