Well, I travel for work and I still have a problem when I am traveling and sticking to my "plan."
I hate to say it, but peer pressure is part of it. If he's hanging out with a bunch of guys who are going out for drinks before heading off to dinner and they order three big plates of nachos, what is he going to do? Order a little salad? They'll make fun of him! (Or maybe they won't...?)
But I feel it and as a woman, I'm "allowed" to be on diets and such things... I can't imagine being a guy in that environment. The men I work with tend to be conscientious about their food intake, but this is their plan -- eat like pigs when we are traveling and then come home and run it off and eat healthy at home. One of my coworkers does that... he eats salads from home, but will eat the big rib and steak dinner when we're traveling!
So, your husband CAN do that, but then he has to be super strict about how he's eating at home. And if he's traveling two weeks one right after the other, then he has to figure out how to balance it.
Internally for me, I had to also realize that just because I could now eat out (rather than at home) it wasn't going to be a free for all. I could eat this food any time I wanted to... not just when I traveled and it took some of that "need" to pig out when I was traveling.
I also learned to take snacks with me and yes, I would order the steak dinner, but for me, since I eat paleo, I would just avoid the breads and desserts in order to be in "compliance."
The other thing I started doing was taking work out clothes with me and working off some of those calories. It takes discipline, but what I discovered is that my coworkers would also be at the gym with me early in the morning burning off their own food hangovers!
Well, I travel for work and I still have a problem when I am traveling and sticking to my "plan."
I hate to say it, but peer pressure is part of it. If he's hanging out with a bunch of guys who are going out for drinks before heading off to dinner and they order three big plates of nachos, what is he going to do? Order a little salad? They'll make fun of him! (Or maybe they won't...?)
But I feel it and as a woman, I'm "allowed" to be on diets and such things... I can't imagine being a guy in that environment. The men I work with tend to be conscientious about their food intake, but this is their plan -- eat like pigs when we are traveling and then come home and run it off and eat healthy at home. One of my coworkers does that... he eats salads from home, but will eat the big rib and steak dinner when we're traveling!
So, your husband CAN do that, but then he has to be super strict about how he's eating at home. And if he's traveling two weeks one right after the other, then he has to figure out how to balance it.
Internally for me, I had to also realize that just because I could now eat out (rather than at home) it wasn't going to be a free for all. I could eat this food any time I wanted to... not just when I traveled and it took some of that "need" to pig out when I was traveling.
I also learned to take snacks with me and yes, I would order the steak dinner, but for me, since I eat paleo, I would just avoid the breads and desserts in order to be in "compliance."
The other thing I started doing was taking work out clothes with me and working off some of those calories. It takes discipline, but what I discovered is that my coworkers would also be at the gym with me early in the morning burning off their own food hangovers!
It is a bunch of guys and they made fun of him once when he ordered a turkey burger with no mayo and no cheese on a wheat bun. Called him a sissy. Peer pressure is definately what's driving this now that I remember that conversation.
He shouldn't care about that though. Are those guys going to be in the hospital with him? No. Are they going to have to take his medication? No. Do they have to work off their meals? Probably, but I doubt they will.
Ugh WTF!!! Cause you know, high cholesterol and dying decades before you would with a healthy diet is totally manly. What about providing for your loved ones and being a strong protector type? Those man-boys need to prioritize.
Ugh WTF!!! Cause you know, high cholesterol and dying decades before you would with a healthy diet is totally manly. What about providing for your loved ones and being a strong protector type? Those man-boys need to prioritize.
Boys. They never learn until it's too late. It's not Super Mario Bros where you get 1ups.
It is a bunch of guys and they made fun of him once when he ordered a turkey burger with no mayo and no cheese on a wheat bun. Called him a sissy. Peer pressure is definately what's driving this now that I remember that conversation.
He shouldn't care about that though. Are those guys going to be in the hospital with him? No. Are they going to have to take his medication? No. Do they have to work off their meals? Probably, but I doubt they will.
But people care. I know full-grown adults who still care what other people think about them. My best friend -- a MAN, older than me -- who desperately cares what other people think about him. Yes, that makes him a great friend too, cares about others and all that jazz, but he still does.
And ****, I do, otherwise, really, why do I get dressed in the morning?! lol...
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP
Peer pressure is an excuse to do what he wanted to do anyways.
But ya - if I was with a bunch of guys and one of us ordered a turkey burger he would get razzed.
Absolutely, it is an excuse, but it's still hard... I wouldn't have gained weight or lost it so slowly if that wasn't a part of it!
But it doesn't help when people make fun either! A lot of the times you being "good" is taken personally....
It's sad that the man can't order a turkey burger. Why can't a turkey burger be manly slathered in onions and bbq sauce?!
This goes just along with what I've been saying all along. 1. Men have no filters. 2. Dude logic isn't actual logic.
And he did text me a menu of where they're going for dinner tonight and told me to pick out something for him. So I did a steak with no butter or oil, steamed broccoli and a baked potato. That's manly, right?? He'll probably get picked on because real men eat sticks of butter and then rip their shirts on their muscles! Rawr!
Last edited by owlsteazombies; 12-06-2012 at 04:44 PM.
BROCCOLI IS FOR GIIIIIRLS, but seriously going by the logic his friends apparently exercise, the only way to be manly is to need assistance tying your shoes and finding your "manhood" under a beer belly. Steak and potatoes is probably a good option. I always get a big steak and double or triple veggies when I go out!
I suspect what is really going on is ALL of the team members only wish they could order turkey burgers, but none wish to be the first to do it....
Seriously though I have a somewhat similar thing going on with my husband. He just started a new job about 3 months ago at a company where he now goes out with a group of guys every day for lunch. People also have a tendency to bring in stuff constantly to snack on. He's lost over 100lbs in the last three years as well. I never ask things that make him feel good or bad regarding food at work, however I am interested in how he's doing with maintaining, so I'll ask things like, "did someone bring in cupcakes again today" to which he'll give the answer and usually how he responded to it. I do my best to not give a positive or negative reaction to what he says.
I suppose that's happening because he lost the weight before I did, yet NEVER commented on how badly I was eating. I really appreciated that, as I hate to be lectured to. (don't we all?!) I was motivated by what he was doing and eventually it followed through to me. We still don't comment on each others food, and find that works best for us.
You really can't force someone into making a healthy change until they are ready. Ready may not even be them asking for help. Hopefully, your husband will really start to see the results of the effort you're making with your health and the switch will finally kick on.
In my opinion though, I would try to let him make the good and bad choices himself without any negativity from your end.
