So, mi little one is 4 1/2. She will start Kinder next September. I have a 1st grader too. I'm thinking what to do . I can't really commit to a regular 8-5 job because the kids will still have days offs, sick days and vacations not to mention the early release days... I can't be calling in once a month and I just can't leave my daughters with other people... Maybe when they are older but not now...
The point is that I'm not sure what I am going to do ... I want to be productive but I don't want to be tie down to a schedule...
We run two sucessful businesses and right now I do all the HR/accounting part of it, but it's not something that takes me all day to do. Money is not a problem but I used to be in Real Estate before my kids making a good living when we decided that being a mom was more important...
I only have a high school education. I did some CNA training and still have my license but its not something that I want to do forever. Not sure if I want to go to school and get a degree when I know I won't get a normal job for a while anyway...
I was thinking of getting a realtor license and work on my own time...
This just became a long post.... I guess my question is what did you guys do after the kids started school?
I am a SAHM with two boys the exact ages as yours! I started working one morning a weeks at our preschool, teaching Spanish. I love it because they are extremely flexible. I have developed my own curriculum entirely, which is very intellectually stimulating, something I have missed over the years staying home.
I don't plan to work more that this at any time. I, too, am very active with my husbands job and things related to such. I am involved in my church and love to volunteer at my children's schools. The extra time I have when both of them are gone allows me to workout more easily and run errands ALONE.
Our lifestyle wouldn't really allow me to work more and I am happy with our setup. Crazy on days like today when I had to go to nine, yes nine, places today. Sigh... But I take care of all our financials, school activities, cooking, cleaning, pets (3 dogs and chickens), kid sports, religious and educational enrichment, etc, etc, etc. I supplement our children's schooling with Homeschool materials to keep them challenged.
So...what makes you happy? Could you afford to stay home, or is it making you feel guilty? It's normal either way!
I do all the things that you mention minus the pets I hear you about going grocery shopping ALONE...
I don't know what I think, my husband is very appreciated of what I do since he pretty much doesn't have to worry about a thing.. but I hate when I get the "what do you do all day?" "what are you going to do when the kids go to school?"
Financially, I don't need to work and I love my evenings at home. My husband and I are very homy so to us it's important. Thinking as I am writing this I feel like is more of a social pressure of what people are going to think about me? "How come you are not working?" and such... it's silly but I have always been so independent and I feel like now people sees me as lazy... More than once I got the comment "since you have nothing to do all day why don't you do x thing for us?"
I don't see SAHM as lazy especially when there is evidence of the exact opposite! I think it would be odd for someone to say "You, don't work" Remind them that you do! All the stuff that you do is work. I think some women would like to be in the position to not have to worry finaincially and focus more on family. Don't give into social pressure. You don't sound like a "kept" woman but someone that is giving your time to your family and community.
Example: If you talk to some working moms at schools (and the school's faculty) probably appreciate the fact that SAHMs volunteer their time to attend (chaperone) the school field trips and etc!! Plus, the SAHMs watch the children in the neighborhood get on and off the school bus. I know of one lady that did this for the neighbors because the Mom worked a certain schedule. Here, I actually see them standing outside with the kids (along with their own). I am just saying that even "little" things are appreciated...not to mention the bigger things you probably do!
Last edited by RoyalAthena; 11-08-2012 at 07:59 PM.
Lol If someone asked me what I did all day...I freak the $!(& out! I'm ridiculously busy most of the time, and when I have a moment of peace...I enjoy reading a good book or even taking a nap! I don't feel the slightest smidge guilty. I was always a high-achiever and very smart. I just use my talents now to make an amazing life for my children, my husband, my family, my church, our friends and ME! Honestly, I feel guilty that I don't feel more guilty...
My family are very "homey", too. It's very important to us to have the kids in bed and the house "done" by 7pm. This would be almost impossible if I worked full time. I have lots of friends who work outside of the home, and lots who work solely within the home. Both have challenges, but I think the working moms have it harder. There is just no way to do it all, at least no one I have ever met, and they often have their own guilt about working, etc. Mommy guilt is universal! Lol If your home is happy and functioning, go with it! If you need more intellectual stimulation, try part-time work, volunteering, book clubs, online classes, etc.
Last edited by ChickieChicks; 11-08-2012 at 07:58 PM.
My kids are both in school this year for the first time. I take care of errands, spend 2 hours at the gym on MWF, cook most of our meals from scratch, and keep the house together during the day while they're in school. That means after school I'm free to help with homework, take them to practices, and just spend time with them and my husband. It frees up the weekends too so we can do more things as a family.
RoyalAthena: I know what you mean, I'm every morning at the bus stop with another mom and my daughter really loves that. I haven't volunteer at school that much because I still have the little one at home, once they are both in school I will get more involve but what really kills me is the "what do you do all day" coming from other moms lol
ChickieChicks: I am the only one in my circle of friends that stays at home. All of them have kids but they had to go back to work after the first 3 months. I don't really go into details but one of them has a kid, works full time and goes to school, so I get from her the "well, I do all that AND I WORK and go to school..." So imagine the comments that I will get once the kids are out to school and still don't have a "title" it's annoying ...
It's very important to us to have the kids in bed and the house "done" by 7pm. This would be almost impossible if I worked full time. I have lots of friends who work outside of the home, and lots who work solely within the home. Both have challenges, but I think the working moms have it harder. There is just no way to do it all, at least no one I have ever met, and they often have their own guilt about working, etc. Mommy guilt is universal! )
Amen! I'm a single mother to a five year old. The one thing that I've had to learn is that there is always tomorrow to get things done. I don't fret over dishes in the sink, or a little bit of dust. If I need to go to bed early, have a cocktail, or whatever I want INSTEAD of doing something more "productive" then I will. I don't need to be my own worst enemy.
A great example is the leaves that need to be raked. My yard is pretty large and my daughter is too small to really help. Between working full time, her going to school (and after school care), girl scouts, dance class, errands, and cooking, I put it off. No guilt here! When someone wants to come live my life, they can tell me how easy it is, preferably while they do my yard work and make my dinner
Any SAHM out there???
