I don't think I will ever figure out men. My hubby and I been together for 22 years. When we first met I had a very nice figure. Ok years later after two kids and developing fibromyalgia I went up to 170's. (used to be 115-120)
Anyway I wanted to lose weight for health, but also I want to look nice again and not like a fat old slob wife who has let herself go and her hubby might not find her attractive again. (yeah kinda insecure)
So I am down to 145. I am so happy I am losing weight. BUT he hasn't said, wow honey I am so proud of you, great job. BUT when he stopped smoking I told him all them time how proud I was of him and how much I supported him. He does make compliments, like Im sexy, goodlooking....yadda yadda. Which I am glad he is noticing. OK here is the thing. The other day he said your losing your butt, and I KNOW for sure my boobs are going down. He said I liked it a couple of months ago when you had a booty! WHAT!!!!???? So you want me to be 150-160 pounds again!??? I have to be chunky to have a butt and boobs??!!! I thought losing weight and having a cute little figure was gonna be good. AHHHHH I don't know what goes through men's minds. I really thought having a thin healthy looking wife would be a turn on, I feel like everything I am doing to be attractive is going south...literally. haha.
Has any woman felt like this before? I mean we love each other regardless of our size, but I want to be more attractive to him...and I thought this was the way, to get in shape since I let myself go so long.
The bottom line is I know it's good for my health. I DO NOT want to be 172 again, ever!
Oh, don't let his casual comments get you down. He's just a man-- you are a woman! You know what's right for you and your body. And you know what, once you hit goal he's going to be picking his jaw up off the floor! If you're really worried about it, work on your glute muscles a bit. You'll have a banging booty to go with your already hot bod!
I found that lately I'd been getting a little less curvy than I (and my husband) find attractive so I started a lifting program to help build those muscles. Squats, lunges, and weighted step up are a flat butted girls best friends.
I have been doing Jillian Michaels' No More Trouble Zones for the last three months and it definitely leads to the development of some toned curves. Particularly the booty. Mine got actually bigger (yikes - I have a bit more insulation to loose there). But the shape is there. So, like the other posters, I would recommend toning and strength training.
I've noticed this trend over the years of men liking booties more. Even my Mom asked about it once cause she remembers back when it was about bigger boobs but now it's seems to be about bigger booties and she doesn't understand why I want a bigger bum. Oddly I've always preferred having a bigger bum (I guess having a flat behind as a teen and sitting on hard chairs 8 hours a day at school will do that to you!) and that was one and only plus when I gained weight. But I didn't like the rest of it. I always joked around (and still think about doing it after I lose a little more weight but still have a little extra to lose) about getting the fat on my thighs, upper arms, and belly grafted to my derrière when I get the little extra skin removed and a lift to the girls. Men I dated seemed to comment mostly on my backside too. One of my main worries about losing weight was losing my butt. So I researched into exercises to help build the muscles in the caboose. But I didn't stick with them much and stuck to walking. I can see where my butt has gotten smaller which makes me sad. So I started doing Jillian michaels' killer Buns and Thighs a little over a week ago and if the sore butt muscles are any sign that it's working than I might end up being able to keep a booty. I do have to say that my romp does feel firmer.
I agree with the others don't let his comment bother you. Men tend to fail at saying things at times. But I guess at times we women do too. He could have said it to show you that he loved the way you looked before too along with now because he picked up on that you where insecure than about your body but it came out wrong.
And I managed to refer to the bum 8 different ways in this post. lol
Most men I have encountered over the year, my own husband included, have indicated that they like more feminine shapes over more lean shapes, if given the choice. That doesn't mean both cannot be absolutely healthy and beautiful - quite the contrary, most weight loss keep things proportional when all is said and done. That doesn't mean we lose it like that, but it does tend to balance out.
For your butt, it isn't fat you want, it is tight gluts. Squat and lunge hard and frequently, and your butt will look amazing, even if you lose the fat padding over it. That's the trick to a shapely rear - sweat!
As for your breasts, as your waist and hips slim down your breasts will look proportionally larger, too. I wouldn't sweat it too much. And if he still misses them and a great bra doesn't do the trick, he can either get used to it or pay for them. But most men aren't thinking this through like we are, it's just an offhand comment that was meant to be a compliment (unless I am really 'hearing' it wrong in my head). Healthy is important, keep focusing on that and get strong, you WILL be sexy, whatever your natural shape might tend toward. There are beautiful women of all shapes and sizes, and healthy IS beautiful, as is confident and energetic.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 11-05-2012 at 04:22 PM.
If you believe this to really be true, then seek the body that you are happy with. Don't worry..i'm sure the new & improved booty when you've reached your goal will make him forget all about the old one :P
Last edited by valalltogether; 11-05-2012 at 05:02 PM.
I was also going to recommend heavy squats for your butt. It will probably have a better shape if you do those, plus other weight lifting should be great for your figure, weight loss and health.
Men are weird. I guess he likes you at that weight, but you need to do what makes you happy. I love the way I look at 170, so I plan on going back to that weight even though my husband thinks I should loose more. Im happy you are loosing weight!
Thanks so much for all of your replies!! I may start doing some lunges. I mean my butt is not flat...but when your almost 40 is spreads a bit haha.
I am happy with my size and look forward to shedding a few more. If he doesn't like it, oh well, I feel more confident than being in the 170s. I will have to post a pic, hard to describe what you look like in words lol.