I share an appartment off campus with three other students. One just left and another one moved in in the beginning of August.
We've been getting along quite well from the beginning, but lately we started spending more and more time together. I started having romantic feelings for him after a while.
It's a bad situation. I don't know if he's interested in me as a woman or if he just wants friendship since we share the appartment. And I don't know how to get rid of my feelings in case it's friendship from his part.
He left for a vacation on Thursday. The night before, we hang out in his room and talked till I went to bed very late at night. Now that he is gone, we still text each other on facebook. At first it was just some small talk. He told me he arrived on time, had nice weather, etc. One night he sent me a message where he talked about something that was pretty personal to him. He finished by saying that I didn't need to answer if I don't want to, that he just felt the need to tell me and that he hoped I wouldn't mind.
I answered him and in his next message he told me that he was happy he didn't scare me away (it was not a scary subject, just personal).
I don't know what to make out of it. Right after moving in he said how happy he was that everyone in the appartment was so nice and getting along so well. Is he just excited about having such good roommates? One the other hand, I never felt the need to send a message to one of my roommates in the middle of the night.
I don't know if I should keep our conversation on facebook going. It makes me hope he is interested in me, too. But if that's not the case, living together might get ackward.
There is no other female roommate at the moment, the other two happen to be male as well and he does have female friends.
That's why it makes it so difficult for me to figure it out.
I get along really, really well with the other two roommates, so I think that, maybe, the new roommate just wants to "join in"
It does sound like he has feelings for you. And I know this probably doesn't need to be said, and that you are an adult (etc etc), but just be careful since you live together. Beginning to date someone that you already live with could get ugly very quickly!
Sounds to me like there's interest there! Maybe start hanging out, just the two of you, in a friendly way. Go for coffee, etc. See what happens but don't push things, you know?
Honestly, it's hard to tell by just a description over a post, but my best advice would be to listen to your gut! Trust your intuition, but also be aware that we sometimes have the tendency to read into things the way we want to see them.
I'd say, just wait and see. Be his friend and be patient. Rushing can be messy in a situation like this.
And if he ends up not being interested in a romantic relationship, at least you made a good friendship out of it! (Though it sounds like he's potentially interested.)
LockItUp - I realize living together might be a real problem. I wouldn't want to leave the appartment in case he was interested and we tried and it didn't work out. It might destroy the nice, friendly atmosphere among everyone in the appartment.
MindiV and Mollinaomi I'll be patient and won't rush anything. It's hard though, I'd rather prefer to know if I should try to get rid of my feelings right now. However, I wouldn't dare tell him. I feel like even that would make living together ackward for a while.
graciegoose13 I try not to overanalyze anything, but I know that I tend to, so I don't know if I could trust my intuition.
I'm still not sure about his behavoir.
He came back from his vacation a week ago. We've spent hours together every day since. We talk for hours or play board games. Sometimes the other roommates join in, but most of the time it's just the two of us.
He smiles at things I do, like everytime when I use certain words he finds odd or when I do simple things like taking a straw for my coffee. He is interested in what I do and says nice things.
Should I just be patient and wait? I am extremely bad at flirting anyways, so I guess that wouldn't work.
I'd say patience here is a good thing. You have a rare opportunity to see a potential partner in a "natural habitat" Don't waste it!
You have what sounds like a lovely friendship going so just flow with it. This is a great chance to see what he's like. Maybe he has a weird quirk, or you find out he hates children and you've always been set on having enough kids for a basketball team. Maybe you find out he does any number of things which is an automatic "Oh god! I couldn't live with that the rest of my life!" You are able to find out a lot of things NOW before you devote weeks, months or even years just to be potentially disappointed later.
The flip side is, maybe he IS prince charming. If you're that compatible, waiting a bit to make sure won't make a difference, he'll still be there. If he's spending THAT much time with you, it'd be hard for him to go elsewhere to find a girlfriend so you don't have to worry about that front.
There are a few things that may need to be considered. He may be interested, but...has he recently broken up with someone? Did his last relationship end roughly? Has he ever been in a serious adult relationship? (I'm not sure of your ages)
Guys can be difficult to understand sometimes. They think we are the same way, so don't feel bad. It just takes time & listening. I learned a lot about guys mostly cause growing up with all the men in my home (4 bros., my dad, numerous uncles, male relatives & all their friends). They are really not as complex as many think they are. They just may not know how to express themselves.
Be there. Listen to him. He'll tell you, maybe not in a direct way, it might be in a way you'll have to just believe in & follow your heart. But do the smart thing, be friends first. My hubby & started out as friends, we've been married for over 20 yrs & we are STILL the best of friends.
BTW, isn't it cool to have a guy friend? I've always loved it! most of my friends have been guys, cause in all honesty I'm a tomboy.
Last edited by MrsTryingAgain; 10-14-2012 at 01:10 AM.
Not sure about my roommate's behavoir
Don't waste it! 
