[boiaby]

Hi, I need some help from anyone who's been through a divorce. I can't afford to go to a lawyer yet so I'm hoping someone out there knows what to do. I plan on leaving my husband as soon as I find a job that will support me and my daughter. I need to start my own bank account for the money I need to get started on but I was told that my husband would be entitled to half of whatever is in there when we divorce. Is there a way I can start an account with my own money (from my birthday and from my mom trying to help me get a fresh start) without my husband getting half of it? Please help!

[goodforme]

Keep the account in your mom's name. Keep records of where the money came from for every deposit to prove your husband did not earn it. I don't know if that will work, but it sounds like it would be separate from your marital assets. Good luck to you!

[trixiepup]

you probably should consult a lawyer. in california the bar association has a list of attorneys who will work for free for certain causes. maybe your state has a similar program?

if your marriage was abusive, you might want to contact a women's program (usually listed in the front of the yellow pages). they could probably refer you to someone who could help.

also, nolo press writes excellent books on legal topics:
http://www.nolo.com/lawcenter/index....5B37AAE3180FCD
I think the book is California specific, but the software/book set on amazon didn't seem to be specific.

good luck!

[Justsecretgirl]

You can use a parralegal (think that is how it is spelled). That is what my husband and I did. It was $250 and we basically split everything in half even the bills. We had no children, so that made it easy. Kinda of funny we are married to eachother again. LOL Divorced for two years..........had to do some growing up. Long story! Well best wishes just stay strong. What state do you live in? Any ideas of what type of job you are looking for? Take care!

[FatMommaCat]

I believe that if you begin the divorce paperwork (Summons and Complaint that establishes you as the Plaintif) then from that point on anything you earn is yours... not for sure on that... but many lawyers will answer questions like yours in a free consultation. Tell them that you need advice on how to go about leaving him and how to safeguard your money. Mine even worked without me puttin him on container... I made payments to him during the whole process.

In my state all marital property aquired after mariage is "community property" and is split 50/50. I am assuming that is what Arkansas does then if someone told you that. In that case, then it won't matter who earned the money as goodforme said... it would still be split between you. In my divorce, I don't think things were split exactly 50/50, but we both got what we wanted and got it over with. Also, neither of our personal checking accounts were brought into it (mostly because neither of us ever had enough money in them to make it worth the time and effort).

Another idea... don't know your situation, but if your Mom is willing to help you out, is there any way you and your daughter to maybe stay with her??? just an idea.

Good luck and let us know how it all works out!
It is a good feeling to get it all over with... scary and frustrating before and during... but feels soooo good to get it done!!!

Courtney
(message me if you need to chat... )

[FatMommaCat]

Ohhh yeah...

Also, in South Dakota... gifts are not considered community property... (neither is anything you owned or had before marriage) So, if you have gift money from your birthday or gift money from your mom, that might be a way around it???

My advice is contact a lawyer and ask if he can give you some advice on how to start all of this... he might do it just so you hire HIM later when you do start the paperwork

Again, good luck!

Courtney

[boiaby]

Thanks everyone, your advice is so helpful. I'm obviously quite confused, after all I've never done this before, and I hope to never do it again!! I think I will contact a lawyer and see if I can get a free consultation. Hopefully that will get me pointed in the right direction. As for staying with my mom, she lives in California and I'm in Arkansas. Anyway, thanks again, and I'll post again soon if anyone is interested in the outcome. You guys are wonderful!