[bargoo]

Knowing the woman's identity does not prove anything. Best advice drop him, he is not worth the aggravation.

[daniprice]

I have some advice for you. Try not to get too pulled into this drama. I say this because even though she is angry right now, it is very possible she will go back to him. That might be really frustrating for you, but it is her life. In the meantime, you are taking on a big project of weight loss for yourself and be aware of ways worrying for your friend could throw you off.

You can't control other people. You can be an ear and empathize, but in the end people make their own decisions and that is how it should be. If your friend needs more than an ear, suggest she seek counseling. As someone who has a past getting pulled into people's drama, I have learned to have more boundaries and be an ear, but not a pseudo-therapist.

[Sally Pineapple]

I believe that you can just be there for her.
From what I read the guy is a creep and she needs to get over him.
She also needs help to get over her obsession.
Her obsession will do more damage than he could.

[gonnadoitthistime]

Ditto the advice about not getting pulled into this thing. I have a rule about not listening in an engaged way when woman wants to complain about her man. Some never stop complaining but don't really want to change and they end up using up friends being self absorbed. Jeez, I recently heard from an old school friend I haven't talked to in over 30 year (gotta love Facebook), and her first comments were she was still married to ___, like it was a great thing and all I could think of was all the times she would call me hysterical because he hit her, drove by their house with his girlfriend in the car, spent all their money on partying etc etc etc etc.

As far as your friend, he IS a typical jerk and dumb at that, if she goes back, she deserves what she gets. Don't be the one whose time and emotional energy she sucks up with all the drama. Some people just like drama and a willing ear, and are usually never around when the people they dumped on endlessly need a friend. (bitter, I know)

[Sum38]

You are very right gals. I don't usually get involved, because it can backfire. This woman has been my friend for 20 years, basically family. She is not overly dramatic person, therefore this was so heartbreaking. I just felt so helpless when she was so sad.

She has decided to move on, atleast for now. She feels too hurt and betrayed and she feels she can not forgive him and that relationship would end up being filled with distrust. -- Who knows, maybe they both need to date and if it is meant to be, and once all this hert is behind, maybe they will find their way back together.

She is a fab person, and I am sure she will meet someone nice.